Scribes 2024

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run # 2127

Clochandighter Woods or somewhere near Portlethen

Date: Monday 15th April 2024

Hares: Sharnie and Little Shit

Scribe: Threesome

The pack of many (too many for me to count as I’m now used to count to up to 20 only and that in Portuguese on top of all!) has gathered in the blustery wind at some car park at the back of Badentoy Park. Everyone was commenting on the weather as only Brits can do, and many with visible signs of hypothermia. But then to add to the peculiarities what hashing in Scotland looks like, many hashers (not Harriette’s!) would insist on wearing shorts all year round…and I will come back to that animality later…

Numbskull opened the circle as GM Shaky didn’t cum today. Apparently it was Shaky’s birthday today and he decided he had better things to do than running in wind and rain with other half minds. He kept himself cosy and drunk at the comfort of his home. He will hopefully get recognized for this crime against hash on the next run!

So, as Numbskull opened the circle he was looking for new runners and visitors and of course returners!  I, Threesome, was mentioned and even though most of them couldn’t anymore remember my hash handle (it’s been so freaking long since my last appearance in September) I’ve been called in for being a returner and assigned a scribe. Three times!!!…as people kept forgetting I was a scribe and I was reassigned this dishonourable job again and again and again. Three times for Threesome! They should bloody remember that now or shall I repeat? (Next scribe you’ll get renamed Foursome! Ed)

Quite a few pre-run DD were given:

• A leaving hasher Fetus Envy was given a T-shirt which he proudly put on his skin and after he finished his beer he was given the dishonor of being a co-RA of the run.

• Underlay has taken his DD for bringing a bionic knee as a trophy from Easter Challenge this year and;

• Twizzle and Little Shit for not paying attention and not knowing that the scribe was already chosen.

Chalk talk (or should I say flour talk?) by the hares Little Shit and Sharnie was a confusing message of short trail, confusing checks and do not get lost message after which, they concluded that we don’t have to worry too much as Sharnie will take it from behind anyway.

So off we went… On On …although, there is not much calling going on with this pack.

The trail lead us through some prickly bushes and heather up the hill to the summit with some derelict concrete structure on the top. At that point we lost all the running bastards and we started our long descent. Bruce Almighty has tried to set me in a direction of runners confused by seeing myself stuck with lazy bastards called here walkie-talkies.  He thought I was lost. Well, today Threesome was a walker and little I will know about what runners were up to while we were slowly progressing down the hill. Sharnie started to panic soon and herded us off the path down past the bushes asking us to hide so the runners won’t see us. Hide and seek? That’s new on hash! We liked it and played along and soon we were rewarded for our good behaviour. Sweets and beer at a nice lake in an old quarry were awaiting us and for a long time we didn’t need to share them with runners! Well done us!

Eventually the runners showed up and crowded the small view point with their chatter and a fight for whatever was left of beer and chocolates.

I noticed one particular runner who I never met before, Todger, because of his close resemblance of TickBait who has departed during my long winter absence. The pack must have missed him so much and it looks like they have found a replacement for him in Todger. Hope he will live up to their expectations!!

The group looked very excited standing high above that pretty quarry lake, especially Fireflaps, Tonto, Hippo and Todger, who were edging for a long time. To my relief they did not make each other go over - does it make me a bad person?

Many interesting chats have been had over those cold beers found as a treasure in the bushes. And here we come back to our aforementioned topic of hashers wearing shorts all year round. Oneliner tries very hard to explain it to me but all he could come up with was something about how all he needs is the good blood flow under his shorts. I’m hoping all the shorts wearers keep their blood flow in that area good and strong!?!

As we were wrapping up this interesting conversation and I was half convinced I sort of understand, The Penguin passed us by with some blood coming from under his shorts. I’m not making this up I promise!  I thought we were talking about another kind of a blood flow? So I keep being puzzled by this peculiar behaviour of Scottish wankers hashers and hope one day someone will come with a better explanation.

Another interesting conversation at that edging state of us was with my long lost hashing friend, a harriette I used to hash with back in Brunei. You will know her by her nerd name Just Anna as she introduced herself to the group. But she is known in hash world as?  (all may revealed in the circle. Ed). She told me doesn’t like her hash handle and was hoping to get a new one. Sneaky!  She should’ve known better as if you don’t like your hash handle it means it’s a good one and you will be stuck with it unless you get even a worse one. That’s a good old hash tradition, isn’t it?

A short and pleasing walk along the road on the forest path and we are back to cars. Drinks and snacks were promptly served and the pack shivered in that wintertime wind. The mulled wine has been immediately spotted as a great source of warmth and many reached for the plastic cups and promptly filled them with the hot beverage. Someone from afar called it a mold wine and I found it entertaining until I actually tasted it. It was literally a mold wine.

The circle was called and the traditional proceedings started.

DD went to:

• Skippy for the best “shit” decorated car

• Sharnie and Little Shit for laying the live trail despite the fact that the trail was already laid and for inventing hide and seek hash game.

• The Penguin for almost losing his leg on a hash and profusely bleeding

• Ballerina for some old injury

• Fireflaps for being first to take up Fetus Envy’s offer for drinks and paying for them despite the fact he was already owing her money.

• Hippo for dragging Smiler thru’ the fountain (don’t ask me)

• Prickly Bush for going through the prickly bushes and heather today

• New runner Frederick for being a hash virgin although nobody uses that term here

• MuffDiver for bringing moldy wine on a hash

• Todger and Fireflaps, just to get Todger a photo for his girlfriend of him having a DD and drinking with a hot Harriette

• Barbarella just for being Barbarella (every hash kennel have one of those)

• And a guy, (StonAa) who was identified to me as Ballerina’s son but nobody could tell me his name, for something he promised to Twizzle and he didn’t deliver on his promise…no, nobody wants to know what it was all about.

• The hares, Sharnie and Little Shit, once again, for laying a shitty trail for us all.

On on! Yours not so sincerely Threesome

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 2126

Sun  07 April 2024

OnOn: Deeside Activity Park

Hares: FiFI + JC

Scribe: Rats

Arrived after a lovely few days at modest holiday cottage courtesy still in shock after receiving council tax bill DOUBLED courtesy of Holyrood Rulers for multiple property owners……  (It WOULD be considered very kindly and appreciated if AH3 could crowd fund and help people like myself and other hashers in similar circumstances).

(After being nominated as scribe consulted with the Pack Legal Eagle to obtain guidance for scribing post implementation of recent Legislation.) He advised “DON’T DO IT”

“A Person commits an offence if they communicate material or behave in a manner that a reasonable person would consider to be threatening or abusive with the intention of stirring up hatred based on protected characteristics”    Hopefully ???  the following meets criteria to avoid a spell in Barlinnie with some criminal calling themselves Isla.

A collection of 2 legged mammals assembled in a circular fashion (identifying as HASHERS – a group of claimed protected characteristics. They were accompanied by some 4 legged mammals identifying as CANINES (not dogs or bitches)).  

A kindly gentle person of indeterminate vintage identifying as a multi faith spiritual advisor congratulated some of the persons present on completing a recent pilgrimage across Scotland.  They were rewarded with refreshments accompanied by multi faith songs. Interestingly many had similar hats of assorted colours with heraldic symbols – some would have been appropriate for wearing at a football game to be played that day – Orange & Blue??  Reputedly (though not heard by myself the sound of piccolos and drums were heard in the far distance?)

The collective group of mammals with protected characteristics went around the woods, fields, forests and rivers following some environmentally friendly substance called flour. This was the multi faith offering to the wildlife to be eaten after completion of this new MINI PILGRIMAGE.   Apparently this ability to effectively trespass across private property is a gift from political Aristocrats who live courtesy of grateful taxpayers and rule their serfs from a far off place called Holyrood?? 

A fabulous pilgrimage included an exciting abseil down a steep slope to the Falls of Birse, searching for Dorothy, Toto, Pot of Gold, Red Slippers and the Wicked Witch of The North was inspired by a fabulous rainbow.  Nothing was found other than Water Nymphs, pixies and Elves. Apparently after being legally pardoned The Wicked Witch is now a SPAD in Edinburgh with special responsibilities for protection of bats and newts.

Some kindly persons had left refreshments (food and liquid) enroute for the pilgrims the final one at a magical pool of water where 2 gentle people of indeterminate vintage were guarding the refreshments albeit in a non-threatening or aggressive manner.

At this stage the collective people of protected characteristics returned to the car park and more kindly non-threatening people of indeterminate age spoke to a selection of the pilgrims who had contributed to the day, more refreshments were drunk to the sound of appreciative chorally talented persons. 

A late addition was an announcement of a planned environmentally friendly ski pilgrimage to the French Alps with pilgrims wanted.

After a SPLENDID day (10/10) some serfs adjourned to the restaurant, the remainder departing after another successful multi faith pilgrimage in Planet Destroying Vehicles – apart from the Wicked Witch!!

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run No. 2125

OnOn: Burnett Park, Banchory

Hare: Shaky

Scribe: Little Shit

Well, well! What a fine morning we had! The sun was shining and we an unexpected turnout of 42 hashers, which came as a surprise to the hare. Most were attired for a heavy duty hill walking expedition, suitable for all weather conditions. A good moto, when it comes to hashing! “Be prepared”

So the scene is set, and Shaky called the pack to order, and “circled up!”   Those of you who are eagle eyed will have noticed that the GM was also the Hare for the day! “Yes, he was the one sporting a very sexy pair of bunny ears.”  He also gets to nominate his own scribe!  You may have also noticed that Aids was also unexpectedly present.  So, as a nominated RA for the day, your stand-in RA got instantly sacked and promoted to scribe…..

Aids promptly stepped into the circle with a handful of goodies.

• Premature received her 25 run award and

• Olymprick received his 1000 award.

Well done to them both!

• Agnieszka, didn’t receive a reward, but was visitor (new runner and Harlequine’s sister) – Welcome to Aberdeen Hash!

Over to the hare; And Shaky laid out a road plan of various signs for false trails and back checks and circular checks, some with ‘X’ in and arrows of various colours.  He omitted to mention three dots on a tree!  Then a list of excuses were issued, such as heavy rain and flour eating snails and dogs…….

The running pack set off for a circuitous run round the cricket ground; led by Cinders and CannaBeArsed, closely followed by Fire Flaps and Tonto.  They were followed up by Stalker and Bag’O’Bones at a more sedate pace.  Some of the back runners considered this as a possible false trail and it may go left into the woods as it usually does.  “No it didn’t!  Try and keep up.”

Out of the park onto the road and heading towards East Mains, then a turn to the right and a short climb onto the old railway line. At this point the runners met up with the FWBs.  Bruce Almighty, in fine fettle, closely followed by Olymprick, still sporting his 1000th award jacket.

The runners then waved goodbye to the walkers and headed deep into Corsee Wood, at this point Ionna, Patsy and Mario’s Chuff had taken over the FRB role.

Some excellent falsies brought the pack back together at Upper Locton, apart from a number of walkers who thought they could out guess the hare, even with a map in hand!  OnOn, was called, and Tonto, Short’n’Thick, Fire Flaps, Premature and Stalker all set off in a line.

Leaving Upper Locton behind we headed into Brooklyn; at this point I lost the pack. Erroneous spots of flour on trees!  The last of the runners I saw, was Ding Dong.  She was checking out on my left, then as I returned to the check point, NO PACK.  Bugger!

All was not lost; I bumped into Bungee Finger and The Bitchhh and we used our hashing ability to actually loose trail again and end up back in Upper Locton.  “Never give in”, and finally we made the Beers Stop, NO BEER!

On In to the circle.

“Ah, they’re back!” Aids then sauntered into the circle and then started singing "It's A Lovely Day Today".  I’m glad I can turn my hearing aids off, what’s left of it anyway! Obviously he was regressing to his childhood Panto days.  For those who want to sing along:

 "It's A Lovely Day Today"

It's a lovely day today

So whatever you've got to do

You've got a lovely day to do it in, that's true

And I hope whatever you've got to do

Is something that can be done by two

For I'd really like to stay

It's a lovely day today

And whatever you've got to do

I'd be so happy to be doing it with you

But if you've got something that must be done

And it can only be done by one

There is nothing more to say

Except it's a lovely day for saying

It's a lovely day

After accepting his self-inflicted down down Aids finally got on with, handing out further punishments:

Charges by Aids:

• Biggles for his April fool birthday, which appeared to confuse the auld man as that was “Tomorrow!”

The sun'll come out, tomorrow

Bet your bottom dollar, that tomorrow

There'll be sun!

Just thinking about, tomorrow

Clears away the cobwebs, and the sorrow

'Til there's none!

When I'm stuck in a day

That's gray and lonely

I just stick out my chin

And grin and say

• Sir Deadmund Hillary - confused, by misplacing his ‘auld hoose’ that he once bided in.

• The Bitchhh - being a Gay on a tray.

• The Bitchhh - dogging on trail (It was a big dog and its snout got to places others fear to tread!)

• Bungee Finger, The Bitchhh & Little Shit – lost boys (we weren’t lost, just challenged!)

• Agnieszka, Virgin Hasher, welcome to Aberdeen Hash.

Charge by Fire flaps:

• Eggfoo & Fire Flaps - having a bare boob challenge. (Marks out of ten?)

Charge by FiFi:

• Glasgow – Invited to a Yoga class by a friend, declined as she was busy! The realised she was actually leading the class! (The mind boggles over what positions these Harriet’s get into?)

Charges by Shaky:

• Mario’s Chuff - managed to check out all the checks in the wrong direction (Excellent trail laying by Shaky!)

• Fetus Envey – late comer, due to bus timings, so requested a Google pin of the Beer Stop location! (You’ve got to admire his intent!)

• Its All Because – Sent a text asking for the beer stop location.(He’s got form!)

• Aids – Walking at pace he was showing the runners the way.  (Well done that man).

Charge by Fetus Envey

• Aids – for cutting the circle short on such a fine day, conducive for sitting about in the sunshine, drinking beer and talking crap!

• And finally the Hare, Shaky, a fine hash trail and the weather was great!

Your ‘umble scribe

Little Shit

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run No 2124

Sun 24th March 2024

OnOn: Slug Road (Mid Hill Wind Farm entrance)

Hares: Hazukashii & FireFlaps

Scribe: Fifi

JC and I arrived at the OnOn to join a subdued gathering of AH3, still processing the incredibly sad news that Toy Boy Tom, having been hit by a car on Seafield Road on 6th March and having lain unconscious in intensive care ever since, was to have his life support machine switched off the following day, 25th March (coinciding with his 69th birthday). Many happy memories of TBT have been, and continue to be, shared on the WhatsApp Group chat along with photographs of the wonderful little man invariably smiling and cheerful, with his signature flop of blond hair and his attire of sometimes dubious style.

Pre-run down-downs were awarded to:

• Sergio for making a rare appearance, and

• Todger, for arriving late.

The hares, having already warned of the likelihood of wet feet ahead, decorated the car park with flour before indicating the way up the forest track, at which point it began to rain. Luckily ‘twas but a shower, but it was followed by a few more before the trail was done, as it was a loooong trail, in time if not in distance. I didn’t see much of it since I was on my bike, this being a handy excuse for not tackling the jungle summit expeditions undertaken by the pack.

Surprisingly, Hippo was leading the way as they descended the Hill of Three Stones, this being the first fallen pine jungle summit. As Hippo was diverted up a falsie, JC took the lead to the next check and on down to the Cowie Water. The pack then turned right before crossing the foot bridge over the water and heading up to the jungle summit of Hill of Tresta.

Golden Shower was the last runner to set off up this hill. Ballerina was the last man to the bridge but avoided the jungly summit by taking a handy short cut along the river instead, following the example set by Little Shit, seen heading that way earlier on. (Nah! Seen short cutting by climbing both deer fences and also at the top of the 2nd hill. Ed)

Meanwhile the walkie talkies settled for just one summit and were shortcutting to the beer and sweetie check that sported a wooden bench from which to take in the view southwards. It would have had a fine view if not for an intrusive line of noisy, humming overhead lines and a wind farm on the eastern horizon. But, it was at least sunny when I arrived there, having pushed my bike up the grassy track which had been thoughtfully laid out for AH3’s convenience by a friendly landowner. Perhaps it was the same friendly landowner who had been busy wiping out flour spots and checks just to make it a more challenging trail.

In due course, the clouds came over once more, by which time most of the walkie talkies had drifted back towards the cars, and eventually the intrepid two-peaks runners arrived, having run out of bridges and being obliged to ford back across the aforesaid Cowie Water. After quaffing beers and scoffing sweeties, the pack headed along a short but very boggy section thoroughly churned up by SSEN tending their pylons. Hence Tia finished the run wearing fetching black stockings, and being promised the full shampoo and set treatment once Muff Diver and High Maintenance got her home.

Shaky called the rabble to order and gave us a brief resume of Toy Boy Tom’s AH3 career before the down-downs.

Most of Toy Boy Tom’s early hashing took place elsewhere but he first made an appearance with AH3 in 1990, before becoming a regular from 2007 onwards. Run 1295 “Toy Boy Tom's Titillatingly Tremendous Trot around the Gramps” (his title!) was the first of many AH3 trails set by Toy Boy Tom.

He ran 440 AH3 trails and set 44 of them, always being willing to help less experienced hares or to step up at the last minute when we would otherwise have had no trail set at all. Toy BoyTom was kind-hearted, friendly, warm, joyful and “simply the best”.

Shaky then led us in a rendition of the Brother Hasher song before we all drank a toast to our Toy Boy Tom.

We will most certainly miss him sorely.

Post-run down-downs were awarded to:

• The two Bruces – Mr T and Bruce Almighty, newly returned from Down-Under

• Hashy Birthday to Olymprick, who shares his birthday with TBT (25th March) although is somewhat younger, being only 65 this year

• Blagger for indulging in three ski holidays this winter

• Sir Deadmund Hill-Ary, JC, 4Fingers, NotDot, Tonto, Get-a-Room – for having dry feet in the circle

• Todger (again) for his boy racer arrival into the car park in a bright red Golf

• Struth – for talking about Todger (but then Struth gets every down-down for talking)

• The Hares – FireFlaps and Hazukashii

On Inn was at the Stonehaven Station Hotel (but I wasn’t there on account of having to rush home to nurse Boston).

Run 2122 

from Intenational School, Aberdeen.

Hares Gingervitus and Patsy.

Scribe: Muff Diver ( Tia refused to write up this one as retaliation for not winning scribe of the year last year). Her and The Donald both think the elections were rigged.

We circled up on a dreich drizzly day. I observed some dodgy parking attempts but won’t name and shame.

Struth sent some love to Toy Boy Tom, we all wished him a speedy recovery.

Ballerina was given a 400th run award and in true form showed some skin which got the girls hollering FOOWARRRRRH!

A good run followed with a lap of Hazlehead Park ( I think ). I took the short walk route and found runners Tonto and Twizzle very lost after the sweetie check restart.

The beer was easily found (thank you hares) and there was therefore no delay in practising for later down downs. Some practised a bit too much but more of that later.

Back to the circle and plenty down downs were dished out:

Barbarella and Pink Panther were rewarded for difficulty in finding the school. I blame Shaky for putting the hash sign out on Deeside Road very late. If truth be told I missed the turn off too on  first attempt.

Hippo and Tonto were spotted playing air guitar to Sweet Home Alabama at the Sensational Ball on Friday night. Nothing wrong with that I say. Anyway they were punished with some concoction of cheap lager.

From the same Ball, Sir Deadmund Hillary and Twizzle were charged with a “different dance style from what is normally expected”. A bit like how one would imagine Boris Yeltsin or Theresa May would dance somebody said.

Todger told a sad story of meeting a girl, taking her home, and dumping her in the morning because she wouldn’t come to the hash with him, good man. Women need to learn.

“Torry Rat Boy” Fetus was in full song at one point but was shooshed by Gingervitus for swearing at the little children passing by.

⁹

An Edinburgh EH3 visitor, Big Mac, was welcomed to the run. He met an old drilling buddy from Cameroon who’s name I don’t know yet.

Todger and Fetus were charged with drinking 2 beers each at the beer check.

Biggles arrived back in Aberdeen at 11:15am and still made it to the run. Pretty impressive since he had run all the way from Mount Kilimanjaro.

Aids gave away some home grown seed potatoes while being heckled by High Maintenance that tatties come from the supermarket.

Tom and Smurf were charged with “joining another running club”. The Metro and The Green Running Club apparently. The Metro was a high class nightclub in Market Street when I was a boy. I should remind everybody that AH3 is NOT a running club! It’s a drinking club with a running problem! How many times…..

The hares were dealt with in the usual way then we disbanded.

On On.

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 2118

Sun 11 Feb 2024

OnOn: Riverside Drive, Bridge of Dee

Hare: Golden Shower

Stand-in GM: Ballerina

Scribe: Ballerina

I haven’t scribed for a while as normally I either forget (due to work etc) or can’t read notes. This time I was overcome by beer duties and forgot to take notes! So here goes!!!

I have to thank Numskull for his efforts last week as his write up for run 2117 suggests he had many tasks. I do have evidence that Numskull has mastered the art of delegation!!

As you can see the GM was ill, over indulged on Skispedition but blamed Fifi for spreading the lurgy. I have to admit standing in as GM I was a little rusty as its 10 years since I was GM. I thought I’d let the hare hand out scribe (which is what has happened recently) only for it to backfire and be handed straight back to me.

Aids gave the pre run down down to Glasgow for French speaking as France beat Scotland in the 6 nations with some controversy – no idea what the issue was as England beat Wales!!

Over to Golden Shower, he explained it was a short-ish run! So off we went. Seems not so many runners as walkers held back to get maps – what happened to follow the flour (and most can’t read maps anyway). I intended to walk (honest not feeling well – the GM germs had spread) but the hare led me and Sharnie on a short cut only for it to be a long cut!! Before I knew it I was FRB but the pack were heading in all directions as the flour disappeared and finally gave up and turned 180 degree as trail had gone completely in a different direction and up into Torry.  I about turned and headed back only to find Scrungebucket and Barberella also searching for trail. Back on trail following the lovely streets of Torry. I guessed we were heading to the gramps (which I later found out was correct). I decided to short cut only not to find flour at all.  I did find T-Rex Cock and Sherlock heading up the A92 saying beer will be near the Shell garage. I didn’t believe him and headed into the newish houses only to find Numbskull not on trail at all but saying beer was near! Then a second about turn and I found the beer stop. I was the first there and Smiler just arrived with beer in Car. How clever am I? The pack soon arrived but Numbskull never did!

I wondered back to the cars with Aids as I wanted to get beer ready for the pack (I take my duties very serious).  I didn’t mention earlier, I was preparing Gluhwein but forgot and left it boiling in the cooker for at least half hour so it boiled over (may explain the bitter taste). It went all over the cooker and down it – Annie Bollox was very happy (or those that don’t know her, she’s a very sociable hasher only seen at parties!!). Of course no time to clean before I left !!

So the down downs started (here where memory takes over) so in no particular order :-

• Skippy and Fetus Envy – Phone calls on trail for lost and late hashers

• Harlequine  - Suggesting Aids is deaf

• Drillbit,Bruce Almighty, Shite Boyfriend, Sir Deadmund Hillary – going directly to a coffee shop – (is this to be allowed on the hash!!)

• Biggles – For gallantry to NotDot and causing her accident on the Ski slopes prior to their trip to Kilimanjaro.

• Biggles (again) for causing Ballerina to be impaled on a log on run 2116 (OneLiner is pursuing a claim on his behalf – a beer would suffice as an out of court settlement

• Pink Panther and Struth – chatting too much as walkie talkies and not following flour

• Jorg – (thanks for standing in as hash cash) duties he took so serious (collecting the list, pen, container etc, but he left home leaving the dog which therefore didn’t get the morning walk!)

• Drillbit – for losing his phone and trying to call his phone while actually using his own phone which he did not recognise. The real culprits where Shite Boyfriend and Sir Deadmund Hillary. 

• I recall something about a black eye but that may not be the hash and some altercation with Annie Bollox (no need to alert the authorities – I would be on the receiving end!!)

Lastly, The Penguin stepped with some hash history which many of us know but it should be honoured every year so we pass on the knowledge.

This is an extract from: Alberto Gisbert | How It All Started | Hash House Harriers Singapore (hhhs.org.sg)

AH3 raised a glass in honour of Gisspert who was killed on February 11th 1942.

Alberto Esteban Ignacio Gispert, known to his friends as “G”, was born in London of Spanish parents on 31 July 1903. Alberto Gispert, generally regarded as the principal amongst the founders of the original Hash - KL 1938 - was an accountant by profession with Evatth & Co. with whom he worked in Singapore, Malacca, and Kuala Lumpur. While in Malacca in the early party of 1938 he took part in weekly runs with a local group called Springgit Harriers, mostly Malayan Civil Service personnel. After sometime, with the aid of Cecil Lee and 'Horse' Thompson, he managed to organise a new group. Nearly all runners were members of the Selangor Club, sometimes referred to as the Hash House Harriers.

Gispert, as far can be ascertained, organised the first run and appointed Cecil Lee and 'Horse' Thompson as Joint Masters. The group flourished and were able to celebrate their 100th run on 15 August 1941. The hares for this first Hash century were E.A. Ross and M.C. Hay.

During the battle for Singapore, he was killed at Dairy Farm Road early on the morning of 11 February 1942, age 39. His body was never identified.  His name is inscribed at the Kranji War Memorial here in Singapore on the Memorial Wall.  The intervention of the Imperial Japanese Army brought hashing to a stop on 12 December 1941. But in August 1946 the Hash was back in business with the help of Torch Bennet, Philip Wickens, and Cecil Lee, all prewar hashmen.

On 19 February 1962, Ian Cumming, an ex-KL hashman, founded a second Hash in Singapore. The rest, as they say, is history.
  

We are all here because of what “G” started some 80 years ago.

On On

Ballerina

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 2117

Sunday 04/02/24

Brathens Eco Business Park

Hares – Bag O’ Bones & Panty Pockets

Weather – chilly compared to Auckland

Scribe: Numbskull

The following is not a significant epistle, so waste of time to read on really.

Seems most of the hash (and the committee) were away for the Ski-pedition or some Burns night junket in Glasgow, so I was specially flown back from New Zealand to stand in as RA, hash beer and other things.

Hash called to order (bang on time). No new runners, no visitors and only me and The Dutchess as returners (specially flown back from New Zealand to stand in as RA, hash beer and other things). Note to other scribes – repeating stuff helps to fill the page and get the job done quicker (as does drawing attention to it - like this). It’s all boring anyway.

Pre-run DDs to:

Smurf and Short‘n’Thick for stretching (how original! – the award of DDs, not the stretching).

Aids pointed out I had forgotten to appoint a scribe, so I ended up doing it. Usual stuff from the hares about the run (I wasn’t listening).

I then wandered up the hill and turned left past Red Stripe’s house (Hi!). Down the hill and round some blown-over fencing surrounding what looks like another new Banchory housing enclave. Up past Shaky’s house (Hi!) and eventually got to the beer stop (not bad – Eh!). All downhill (nearly) from there back to the car park and circle.

DDs and stuff (in no particular order):

• Mr Mum-Mum for talking in the circle

• Tetley for wanting cup of tea

• Cinders for saying Aids not well behaved (no sensible evidence of this was produced)

• Thruppenny Bits for agreeing with Cinders

• Moi for transporting a rough walking stick from an Auckland woodland park through various airport securities and three flights home (it goes with a similar from the Champagne district vineyards – kindly found for me by Sauerkraut)

• Todger for carrying a cross between a table lamp and a rat trap around the run

• Gluhwein drinkers for something

• A beloved Stralker, because her beloved The Bitchhh had disappeared off to the Fareast following a recent beloved session (probably plenty more beloveds in the Fareast).

The run was voted as ‘pretty good’ – although no formal vote was taken. Shouts of ‘Run of the Year ’and ‘Run of the Month’ were ignored.

Special mention to The Dutchess and others for helping with hash beer and largely saving me the job. It was noted that the old table and the white cool box lid had been broken (Ballerina - see me later).

Then off to Scott Skinner’s (yes, really) for the On-Inn.

Nummers

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run #: 2116

Date:  Sunday 28th January 2024 @11am

OnOn: Tollohill Woods

Hares: NotDot & Biggles

Scribe: Thrupenny Bits

Sunday morning started well with a leisurely breakfast and a much appreciated short drive to the run site. Despite the hares’ warnings about the small carpark, my Shite Boyfriend managed to squeeze his latest, newish car onto the verge without mishap. Our illustrious GM called the circle to order and just about remembered his many duties, although not necessarily in the right order. When he said that the scribe hailed from the West Country I was a little puzzled; I looked around at the assembled bunch of nearly 60 hashers and wondered who else might be from such a luvverly part of the UK. As far as I was aware only I can admit to being a paaasty-loving, clotted-cream-before-jam-on-scone true Devon maid. Oooh aaaar, that be right.

So proceedings continued with Wee Willie being awarded one of the best ever and most useful item of clothing for achieving 450 runs – an ear protecting all-weather hat.

Drillbit also received a down down for throwing away a tray full of drinks on Friday night – he tripped over a haggis or something apparently.

Over to the hares and some “instructions” that of course nobody was paying any attention to, apart from possibly the new runner. The runners set off and after some unnecessary faffing the walkers were offered maps and suggestions for possible short cuts.

As a walker, a pleasant Sunday morning stroll around Tollohill Woods followed, with a fair amount of chatting, shiggy and plenty of flour to follow. No idea what the runners got up to except it included some tricky terrain and various obstacles. Walkers and runners met up at the sweetie check and the beer check, so well done to the hares for that clever (or maybe lucky?) bit of planning.

Down downs to:

• Barbarella – sporting a “flashing” coat over his near naked athletic body

• Stalker & The Bitch – now betrothed. However, much too young to understand Aids’ quip about needing a new hat

• Drillbit – tried to pay for drinks at the Burns Supper with his bus pass, twice! On his way home on the bus he proffered his credit card instead of his bus pass…..unfortunately technology being what it is, the payment was made and couldn’t be returned.

• T-Rex & Shaky – beer abuse

• Fetus Envy – several slippages along the way, all blamed on invisible dogs and grip less trainers

• Finger It – newish hasher Leo talked his way into a highly apt handle. He was overheard using phrases like touch it/put it away/play with it/finger it and was ceremoniously named by Aids

• Skippy – for being another musician

• Jeremy – new runner

• Blagger, Pink Panther, Wee Willie, Tiger Feet – volunteers (is there such a thing?) at the Burns Night supper

• Todger – apparently living up to his hash handle and showing some kind of protuberance at the beer check

• Ballerina has been doing some late night reading – we should all get a copy of the Hare of the Dog and learn more about haring. AH3 gets a mention in the book, as do some of the hashers from the very early days….

• Tonto (founder member) & Olymprick (unclear about details ..) – Irn Bru to celebrate Jimmy Brew and being in print forever

• T-Rex Cock – Saved Ballerina from being misled by walkers on trail, what a batman hero

• Gimp with a Limp – proposed to a complete stranger on the streets of Aberdeen, and is now engaged

• NotDot & Biggles – haring a great run

Circle ended with a huge creamy Birthday Cake to celebrate AH3’s 41st birthday last Tuesday. Was Ballerina cutting it up with a credit card or a bus pass…..

OnOn to next week’s hash at Brathens, Banchory.

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 2113

Sun 07 Jan 2024

OnOn: Haddo House

Hares: Eggfoo & Tonto

Scribe: Express Chicken

It was a sunny, but cold, day when we assembled at Haddo House on 7th January for the first hash of 2024. The vast majority of hashers arrived by the perilously icy route, from the south gate by Raxton Cottage. Little Shit wondered how many people had taken an alternative route; by this he probably meant one of the two routes that connect with the Ellon-Methlick road. There weren’t many - only one I think - and however you arrived at the car park, one thing was certain - it was like an ice rink.

It’s All Because was awarded a hat with flaps (Biggles style) for amassing 450 runs.

There were a few new runners and returners:

·         Porn Again (who insisted she was Born Again) had been Scribe and Haberdasher at the Bahrain Hash. She’d also lived in the same house as The Penguin, although at a different time.

·         Camel Humper (Jameel) - a keen hasher all the way from sunny Bahrain.

·         Mike - fiancee of Porn Again - did he have a hash handle?

Tonto & Egg Foo were the hares. They explained that, due to ongoing forestry operations, we’d encounter our fair share of bars and it was our duty to respect them. This news was well received, although the message it conveyed may have been open to misinterpretation.

We were also instructed to heed the pheasant pluckers - a sound piece of advice at any time, both in Haddo and beyond.

There would be a Sweetie Stop and a Beer Stop. The location of the Beer Stop would be within the sum of rod, pole and perch from the main trail. Hmm  …….. how far is that then?

Apparently rods, poles or perches – different names for the same unit - hark back to medieval times when ploughing was done with oxen. The ploughman handled the plough, and the lad controlled the beasts with a rod, pole or perch. In the 16th century, a rod was decreed to be the combined length of the left feet of 16 men as they left church on a Sunday morning.

Just to confuse things further, Scotland has a different rod measurement from England. An English rod measures 16.5 feet (5.03 metres), which is a quarter of a chain. Whereas a Scots rod measures 18.5 feet (5.65 metres). You get more for your money up here.

If we summed those three units together (despite being the same unit) then we could, at best, be looking at a distance of 15.09 metres between the trail and the beer. Obviously this information factored in an element of ambiguity, which no doubt we all pondered whilst running off, and it may partially explain why so many people ran straight past the Beer Stop.

Shaky had other things on his mind. He’d lost his wallet. A full scale alert was averted when he discovered it within the chaos of his car.

Off we all set - through some woodland and out to skirt the Walled Garden. Plenty of checks to keep the pack together - and ice to slow us all down. When we left the beaten track and scampered across a field we arrived at a precarious wrought iron sphere perched on (and cememted to) a rock. It was covered in quotes, proverbs and sayings; the agile among us could even climb inside it. Haven’t a clue who created it, or why it was put there, but it was quite interesting.

One person who certainly didn’t attempt entering the wrought iron structure was Drillbit, whose ear crystals might object to any such contortionist activity. Indeed balance challenged a lot us, mostly due to the muddy and icy nature of the terrain. Everyone moaned about the rain however Camel Humper pointed out that in Bahrain they have a prayer for rain, and they’re always glad to see it.

The Deer Park was closed, which must be very frustrating for the deer. Where are they now meant to park themselves?

We enjoyed the formal grandeur of Haddo Estate in the final part of the hash; looking up the Scots Mile to the enormous stone urn at the top of the hill, and crossing the green outside the Pheasantry - no pheasants though - maybe they’ve all been plucked.

Finally we passed the Obelisk - a prick of a memorial to one of the Gordon boys, who died at the Battle of Waterloo. Then we were back in the car park, having missed the Beer Stop. How did that happen?

We had to retrace our steps to find it, located beneath a large beech tree. Unfortunately there was no bottle opener but, with resourceful ingenuity, Underlay managed to open his on a stump of wood.

Whilst listening to snippets of conversation, I learned that AH3 has no haberdashery. To acquire your first T-shirt you’ve got to attend 25 runs. This is at variance with most other hash chapters I’ve encountered, where they’ll flog you any number of rude and embarrassing, synthetic T-shirts, at exorbitant prices, even if you didn’t do the hash.

We meandered back to the ice rink where the circle formed again in the adjacent field. Despite being cold underfoot, at least we were spared the horrors of vehicles gathering momentum as they slithered uncontrollably towards us.

• Egg Foo and Ding Dong were discussing ancient woodland when the first down downs were called. I can’t remember what they were all awarded for but they went to:

• Drillbit - who arrived at the hash late due to some discrepancy between Ordnance Survey and Google Maps

• Clype

• Deviant

• Muff Diver, Red Stripe, Drillbit, High Maintenance, Skinny Witch and Oneliner - for not being at the last Haddo House run - which was the 2000th run - and happened during Covid

• Wee Willie - for organising the hill walk to Clachnaben

• Jeg Slag and Thrupenny Bit - for attending the walk but failing to reach the top due to limited visibility

• Mr Bugger All, Sauerkraut, Ballerina and Gimp with a Limp - for attending the walk and successfully summiting

• Gimp With a Limp - for nearly going to Ardo House instead of Haddo House. High Maintenance suggested it was a problem with his H’s

• Tonto’s Todger

• Little Shit - for forgetting to down down the visitors/returners

• Porn Again, Camel Humper, Mike and Deviant - for being visitors/returners

Apparently JC propositioned someone about joining him for brekkie - but I’m not sure what that was all about so I won’t mention it.

Tickbait intimated that next week’s run would likely be in Durris. Keep your eyes on social media for more details.