Scribes 2021

2000 - Sun 21 Nov 2021 - TBA - Hare: ????? - Scribe: ??

Location: TBA

Google Map: TBA

Directions: TBA

Other info:

On Inn:

Hazards:


1999 - Sun 14 Nov 2021 - TBA - Hare: Underlay & Roger Me More - Scribe: ??

Location: TBA

Google Map: TBA

Directions: TBA

Other info:

On Inn:

Hazards:


1998 - Sun 07 Nov 2021 - TBA - Hare: Shaky - Scribe: ??

Location: TBA

Google Map: TBA

Directions: TBA

Other info:

On Inn:

Hazards:


1997 - Sun 31 Oct 2021 - TBA - Hare: JC - Scribe: ??

Location: TBA

Google Map: TBA

Directions: TBA

Other info: HALLOWEEN

On Inn:

Hazards:


1996 - Sun 24 Oct 2021 - TBA - Hare: Volunteer Required - Scribe: ??

Location: TBA

Google Map: TBA

Directions: TBA

Other info:

On Inn:

Hazards:


1995 - Sun 17 Oct 2021 - TBA - Hare: Binliner - Scribe: ??

Location: TBA

Google Map: TBA

Directions: TBA

Other info:

On Inn:

Hazards:


1994 - Sun 10 Oct 2021 - Drumtochty Glen - Hares: Bungee Finger & Pink Panther - Scribe: ??

Location: Drumtochty Glen

Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/QQW8n2qBijgtGo2w5

Directions: TBA

Other info: Forest Walks car park in Drumtochty Glen, Auchenblae

On Inn:

Hazards:


1993 - Sun 03 Oct 2021 - Tillyfourie - Hares: Hippo & Centerfold - Scribe: ??

Location: Tillyfourie

Google Map: TBA

Directions: TBA

Other info:

On Inn:

Hazards:


1992 - Sun 26 Sep 2021 - Drum Castle - Hares: Cindrers & Sergio - Scribe: ??

Location: Drum Castle

Google Map: TBA

Directions: TBA

Other info:

On Inn:

Hazards:


1991 - Sun 19 Sep 2021 - Blairs Wood, Kintore - Hare: T Rex Cock Scribe: ??

Location: Blairs Wood, Kintore

Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/9u8MYP36eub3m5e5A

Directions: A96North to Broomhill (1st Kintore) rdbt, Rt to Kintore B987, X min-rdbt, Lft ontoB994 Kemnay. After 1.9 miles turn Rt into Blairs wood (small estate). Park inopen space beyond houses on left. Do not block track.

Other info:

On Inn: Sangara, FullertonFarm, Thainstone

Back along B994 to Kintore rdbt, Lft on B977 TownCentre. After 300m, Lft on A96 Inverness slip rd. At Thainstone rdbt, Rt to Kirkwood Comm Park,immed. Rt to FullertonFarm. Park on grass alongside access road. https://goo.gl/maps/R9vMT1V2ELaVUqRx6


1990 - Sun 12 Sep 2021 - Gairnhill Woods - Hare: Sir Deadman Hillary & Glasgow - Scribe: ??

Location: Gairnhill Woods, back of Cults, Aberdeen.

Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/WbHPbZC8QJiCPVG87

Map Ref:

Directions:

Other Info: The OnOn and parking is on the road that runs North on the East side of the AWPR, the old road to the now abandoned Gairn Farm. There is room for 20 cars + 10 spaces in laybys on the main road.

Hazards: There are no known hazards on the run.

1989 - Sun 05 Sep 2021 - Balnagask - Hare: The Penguin Scribe: Olymprick

Location: Torry Battery, Balnagask

Google map: https://goo.gl/maps/rURWkCFCzFp2YrJ2A

Map ref: OS Map 3896 7055

Directions: Headsouth over Victoria Bridge across River Dee towards Torry, then turn left at traffic lights on to S Esplanade E which bends right on to Crombie Place.

At next junction turn left on to Sinclair Road heading east to join Greyhope Road.

Continue along Greyhope Road keeping the River Dee/harbour on your left, pass the Torry Battery and turn right into the next carpark east of the Torry Battery. (There will be an AH3 sign at that point.

NB: Only hazards will be traffic on road




1988 - Sun 29 Aug 2021 - AGPU Knockburn Loch - Hare: Twizzle & JC Scribe: Wee Willie

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 1988 & AGPU 2021

Sunday 29 August 2021

Location: Bridge of Bogendreip &Knockburn Loch

Hares: JC

62 intrepid hashers escaped their locked-down lives and assembled at Bridge of Bogendreip, arriving half an hour early, just as well, as we needed to be briefed by the hares JC and Twizzle about the 10km trail, the 6km trail, the 8.5km trail and the 7.3km trail. Plus the size, shape, colour of the blobs and arrows on each trail. The pack started singing to hide their confusion. As your scribe only realised he was the scribe much later (a lesson for your new GM) he has no clue who got the pre-run down-downs, one easy one to remember was Drillbit, who enthusiastically got on the bus at Culter leaving his picnic chair at the bus stop. Fortunately for him CannaeBeArsed was more alert and retrieved the chair.

DD also (I think) for our visiting Hash royalty Hazukashii, important to ply him with ale to make sure we get a good write-up in his hash website (www.gototheHash.net ) .

We all knew who we were on the trail, as Not Dot had been busy creating name badges for all. Somewhat confusingly Gemma seemed to be named Barbarella.

Good to see some absent friends back on the hash- Golden Shower, It’s All Because and One Liner have the misfortune to still be working. We have yet another hash hound due to appear as It’s All Because has another Daschund... though not today.

Your Scribe accidentally took the 10km trail, anyway that’s what View Ranger told me (https://my.viewranger.com/track/details/MjA2MDU1ODU= . An excellent well marked trail, lovely views, no lost hashers, though The Dutchess seemed pretty blasé about the whereabouts of Numbskull.

Cinders was of like a rocket, leaving Aids to work out which of the multiple trails to do.

Lots of hashers disappearing into the distance, I thought Struth was meant to be a slow runner. Roger Me More also, gone are the days when I would see her on the walkie-talkie trail. Maybe she’s actually caught up with Underlay now. I don’t even see so much of Sergio on trail anymore, either he’s got much faster or I’ve got much slower...

At one point it seemed like we had returned to hashing in the 90’s, with a melee of shiggy throwing led by various harriettes. From a safe distance it seemed to be Flaps, Kate, SplashNDash, Laurie with Icebreaker and Barbarella having a shot. There were others, you know who you are...

Makin was definitely dressed for summer hashing, so there was absolutely no chance of him being too hot on trail.

Drillbit and Muff Diver will have been happy that they weren’t biking, this was a superb hashing trail, forest routes, some up, not so much down...

Excellent view check looking south east from Craig of Dalfro. Caught-up with Struth and Threesome, enjoying the view.

Most of us remembered that the giant H on trial was not in fact the helicopter check, but actually the HAZARD marker, minimising the number of hashers to be trapped on the extensive barbed wire boundary.

I had a bit of excitement with Glasgow and High Maintenance while meandering- a lost trail as a result of too much chatting- the route was rediscovered, letting Fifi catch up with us.

Excited voices in the distance told us that we were approaching the beer check, something to look forward to after more than a year of lockdown.

“Is there a doctor in the house” I heard, as Toy Boy Tom and Kate had been attacked by wasps’ shortcutting to the beer. There was, I told them, but the house is at Knockburn Loch...

Post trail:

Arriving at Knockburn Loch to the welcome sight of the parked-up bus, so at least we knew we would be able to get home. Even more welcome was the hash beer laid on by Ballerina, his enthusiasm knows no bounds, having travelled to Yorkshire to procure good beer and to escape Scotland’s minimum unit price rules, a true hasher.

Olymprick made the mistake of turning-up at Knockburn Loch to do the NO NO trail, only to discover that he was now Sous Chef reporting to Bridget and Ursula, with the main task of cleaning tatties for 62. A working hasher, there aren’t many of those these days.

Bin Liner escaped that fate, having turned-up late after escaped domestic responsibilities to concentrate on eating and drinking.

Down Downs:

After Lunch RA Twizzle called the hash to order for the trail DDs.

Lots of DDs happened, please be aware that the accuracy of this summary cannot be guaranteed...

At this point your GM realised that he needed a pen and lots of paper, having forgotten to award the scribe. So First DD to Wee Willie, surprise surprise...

We had yet another fungi award, with Pink Panther celebrating her discussion on mushrooms on trail. Shame Clemens wasn’t here to join in.

At this point it seemed that the numbers of hashers attacked by wasps had dramatically increased- with all of them getting a DD: Toy Boy Tom, Kate, Tiger Feet, Lazy Bastard Son.

RA led a debate about the un-named Makin’s new hash handle. There were a number of totally appropriate names referencing our best dressed hasher, The Immaculate Conception, Pristine, Mr Sheen, and Posy Pants being just a few. The pack decided on Mr Sheen, which was celebrated with a DD.

There was something about Fire Flaps making Fraser late for the hash through excessive use of a hairdryer. A worthy DD followed. Over the exuberance of the pack I think I picked-up a new hash handle for Fraser- so The Panty Drier it is. Or is it?

By now the ales were slowing down my scribbling, you should be worried, as I have another 6 pages of this. There was something about body abuse from JC in Ballerina’s house, JC got a down down. Or was it Ballerina?

AH3 AGPU 2021:

We now turned to our Master of Ceremonies One Liner, who thanked the AGPU organisers, particularly Twizzle, Ballerina, the committee, and of course Bridget and Ursula, our hash chefs.

We looked back at a year and a bit of covid, and thanked those that kept us sane, social and exercised over the pandemic. Of course JC with the FOOFAAHs, Barbarella with Zoom (and bringing-in lots of new hashers), virtual lockdown hashers, quizmasters, Wee Willie and the committee.

The old committee were invited up for a down down, resigned, and then hash democracy took its course. The old committee were very pleased with themselves as they’ve left some money in the kitty for the new committee. Exact amount to follow after Hashcash closes out AGPU costs, but will be something like £2.5K.

The 2021 - 2022 committee:

  • GM: Flaps

  • JM: Zak

  • Head Hare: Panty Pockets

  • Hash Cash: Glasgow

  • OnSec/Edit Hare: Little Shit

  • Hash Beer: Ballerina, Hippo, Numbskull

  • RAs: Twizzle & Aids

  • Social Sex: Red Stripe & Ice Breaker

  • Song Master: Bag ‘O’ Bones

  • Haberdasher: Red Stripe

Then Down Downs for the new committee!

RA Twizzle had been raiding his hashing cupboard which is obviously was too full of hash t-shirts- one passed to Nev in celebration of his AH3 hashing career- he’s off to Spain now, so we won’t see him for a while.

T-shirt was also awarded to our visitor Hazukashii, to remember us by.

Threesome and Jetslag were also awarded- so no more trendy running tops for them now (though Mearns t-shirts are allowed).

A big cheer and a bunch of flowers were awarded to each of Bridget and Ursula- as a thank you for their excellent lunch!

Thanks to our hares today JC & Twizzle.

2021 Annual Awards:

So, time for more beer, and then we hand-over to our RA Aids for Hash Awards. A simple request, we were told, nominations requested for:

The RA congratulated the pack for their excellent suggestions, though he did note that a lot of bullshit was written. Wee Willie went to the top of the class for his insightful (and wordy!) summary, which was deserving of a DD, so got one.

Our RA was also perplexed by some of the alternative awards which showed some excessive lateral thinking- the ‘Dominic Cummings Lockdown Award’ (?) And ‘the Colossus Code Breaking Award’ (?) being two excellent examples. More about these later.

Best trail: There were 28 runs before lockdown 1947- 1974 and 13 since (1975-1987).

· Pink Panther, Shaky, Not Dot & Biggles laid 3 trails and

· Golden Shower, Wee Willie, Binliner each laid 2

Several people nominated their own trails – mentioning no names (Ballerina) so they weren’t counted.

The winner is Fire Flaps and trail 1984 at Stonehaven.

Best Scribe: pretty high quality of scribes, we have two winners, Olivia and Zak

Worst Scribe: Though not requested, we have a joint winner for the ‘Not Best Scribe’ Award: Centrefold for rudeness (1980) and Bruce Almighty for the shortest scribe ever written (1961).

Run awards:

· 25 Runs - Ice Breaker

  • 50 Runs - Threesome and White Bolt

  • 100 Runs - Lazy Bastard Son

  • 300 Runs - Ballerina

  • 400 Runs - Barbarella

  • 600 Runs - Bruce Almighty & T-Rex Cock

  • 666 Runs - Sir Deadmund Hill-Ary

  • 1400 Runs - Little Shit

Down Downs were awarded to all! We were particularly entertained by Little Shit’s version of ‘next to the skin’ for the trews, fortunately we had Red Stripe’s head to protect his modesty, Sharnie just didn’t know where to look.

Best FOOFAAH trail: Over a 12 months’ period 53 trails were set, attracting 193 participants who accumulated 2,016 turnouts (providing an average attendance of 38).

Trail#1 at Aquhythie lays claim to the smallest turnout of only 10 attendees, but at the other extreme and after the final recount Wee Willie’s trail #44 at Tollohill and Fireflaps trail #46 at Cairn-mon-earn both attracted 60 participants (joint King and Queen of the Foofaah).

In total 32 hares or co-hares volunteered to set and maintain trails, of which JC, Bin Liner, Little Shit, Sharnie, Shaky, and Tonto were each responsible for 4 or more. JC set 12!

Apart from JC there were another two hashers who completed all 53 trails – namely Barbarella and T Rex Cock.

Other participants who attended 40 or more Foofaahs were (in order) Little Shit, Sharnie, Drillbit, Fifi, Sauerkraut, Bin Liner, Sir Deadmund Hillary, Numbskull, Not Dot, Ballerina, and the Dutchess.

DOWN-DOWNs to Wee Willie, Fireflaps, JC, Barbarella and T-Rex Cock

Best Foofaah: (26 nominations, 13 for JC [4 for #5, 3 for #53 and 2 for #31} Shaky had 5 for his trails and 2 for Prickly Bush at Kincardine)

DOWN-DOWNs to JC & Shaky

Not the best Foofaah:

Numbskull for setting a trail full of poison out in Drumoak and returning a few weeks later to lay his next trail outside the complainants house. Dogs and flour don’t always mix. Little Shit threatened by mad axeman, “not me gov, it was the big boy and he ran off”.

Splash N’Dash with assistance of Barbarella setting Oodles of flour in the quiet suburb of Cove. Police alerted and nab Little Shit & Sharnie following poison ridden trail.

Binliner laying trail two weeks before the pack were to run it. Dog walkers beware at Foggieton.

Most complaints: #12 Hippo – irate landowner at Drum even though it was a recognised right of way.

Most Confusing: #42 T REX – so many loops and unfound trail from check near Thainstone hotel – found eventually but Annie Bollox gave me loads of grief !

#45 Barbarella – Cove – A close second - no idea where trail when - gave up and ran to town!

Best Lockdown Hash: 60 virtual trails from Ecuador to Auchenblae, Liverpool to Lapland and just about everywhere in between! Every continent covered – including Antarctica.

Hares – Wee Willie and Shaky did 7 each. Pink Panther 5 and Not Dot 5 (3 with Biggles)

Aids only missed one. Wee Willie a close second as he only missed a few – of course Barbarella as host (though a missed a couple) and Bruce Almighty also very regular!

DOWN-DOWNs (Wee Willie, Shaky, Pink Panther and Not-Dot)

Best Lockdown location and scribe: (15 nominations, 4 for Not Dot, 2 for Shaky and Twizzle) Not-Dots Time Travel trail #56 got 2 votes was the only one with more than one nomination. DOWN-DOWN for Not Dot

Special awards for Numbskull & Drillbit for making zoom appearances from their hospital beds!

The prestigious Hashshit Award:

JC has had this for 2 years and is keen to see the back of it...no chance of him winning it this year) (As FOOFAAH GM/Head Hare, he takes full responsibility for all shitty trails. Ed)

(12 nominations – 3 for Numbskull, 2 for Olymprick) – However, some other very suitable candidates

Toilet Role of honour:

Numbskull. Who else would set a run through a working quarry after changing the location twice in a week? Not to mention upsetting the locals by poisoning dogs with flour.

Numbskull for laying the hash (near Park Bridge) with the most aggro from a member of the public.

Numbskull: Only one candidate for me, has to be Numbskull for offending civilians not once but twice during lockdown - once poisoning dogs on the Deeside Way, and once running a trail through some-one's garden (FOOFAAH in Drumoak). A worthy winner!

Blagger – Advertising her Echt run on Facebook when we were supposed to be getting on with hashing and trying to ignore Lockdown. So it’s all her fault (mind you we’d have never had Foofaah!).

Fireflaps our fire eating water baby

Haggissimo for getting himself lost and worrying the shit out of everyone

Shaky. Getting his arrows upside down at the chalk talk, handing out maps that confused Numbskull so much that he had to double check on his GPS - without much success ... running up Scolty with no sign of the tower.

Hippo might also qualify for his run in the Drum Castle area on account of the aggro from the man who said the passing hashers were making his dogs bark. We had to go and amend the trail so it did not go up a small section of his driveway.

Rats: Got to give him something - after all maybe his bionic hips will wiggle again

Drillbit: Drinking all the Hash Beer in Lockdown! (What about Ballerina & Muff Diver!) He gets away with it because he also gets the entrepreneurial award for selling hash beer close to its use by date to Mearns Hash during lockdown)

Muff Diver: Losing Tia on a Foofaah and subjecting a number of hashers to a High Maintenance tongue lashing until Tia was found on an island in river Dee by Wee Willie

One Liner: Missing in action? Hope to see him and skinny witch back soon Olymprick: Being a Pain in the arse but we love him anyway

Olymprick for crimes against zoom!

And the winner is.....Numbskull!!

There now followed a list of alternative awards you never knew you wanted, interspersed with songs from Bag ‘O’ Bones and The Penguin.

And some better deserved DDs- to Arlene for throwing away her mobile phone on the trail- not far enough away, as it was rescued by Tongue Lasher.

I have a drunken memory at this point of Kate getting named- I’ve written down hash handle KitKat, hopefully that reflected what happened... (Not really, she unfortunately got promoted to 4 Fingers. Ed)

Interesting note for future DDs- Sandra was happy that she missed DDs today, her tipple is G&T, which doesn’t seem to be on offer in the circle. As with all things on the hash, that can be arranged...

Some interesting après hash information has been reported to your scribe, involving a visit to the Dutch Mill and a lost wallet- suffice to say this story also deserves re-telling at the next circle, so see you there, Ice Breaker! DD for Smiler too I suspect, for being a Good Samaritan and stopping Haggissimo from spending the contents.

Other relevant post trail info seems to involve close contact with small insects on trail - too many hashers to mention here, but the most memorable one has to be Red Stripe who had to turn into a contortionist to remove a tick from a place generally most difficult to reach. (Another tick in the box? Ed)

And of course we mustn’t forget Numbskull who lost the hashshit award- or didn’t as our GM had secreted it away to Stonehaven for safekeeping.

OnOn

Wee Willie

Your Scribe


1987 - Mon 23 Aug 2021 - ??? - Hare: Panty Pockts & Bag 'O' Bones - Scribe: ??


1986 - Mon 16 Aug 2021 - Scolty Car Park - Hare: Shaky - Scribe: Sergio

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

RUN 1986

Monday 16th August 2021

Location: Scolty Hill

Hare: Shaky

Scribe Sergio

The trail that never was!!!!

“A good turnout tonight” I commented to nobody in particular as we assembled on the higher track at the Scolty Hill Car Park. Little Shit appeared to be taking names – again. The usual latecomers appeared to have arrived in good time tonight and GM Wee Willie called us to order promptly at 7 pm – just after Little Shit had us line up – or in some cases lie down – for a team photo. This must be so LS looks as if he has a lot of friends when he posts these on faceplant! There were one or two announcements – one about the upcoming AGPU I think (book your bus place and pay up, cheapskates – by the way if you haven’t done so by the time you read this it’s too late I’m afraid – its FULL!).


Then it was a welcome back to Bungee Finger and Whinger, neither of whom we have seen for a long time.

New runners Fraser and T-Bone (I think) were also introduced to the assembled hounds. Did we have a pre-run down down (virtual or otherwise)? I’m buggered if I can remember. We did get an ‘orrible ‘istory lesson from Sir Deadmund though. Key items: Challenger, Afghanistan, Ronald Regan, Pan Am 103 as far as I remember. Wee Willie decided to pick on yours truly for scribe – he said I was “hiding” behind the Dutchess, which was a bit unfair. I was just avoiding standing in a massive hole. Glasgow will back me up on this as I unsuccessfully tried to get her to step back into it earlier. Still, I can’t complain: these tactics have worked the previous 143 times Wee Willie has cast around for a scribe! Next it was over to the hare for the night, Shaky accompanied by his orange Sainsbury’s bag. He attempted to explain his markings to the new runners – unsuccessfully in my opinion. Even experienced runners were chuntering at the prospect of F’s and arrows pointing every which way. Finally, finally he was done.

Off we went and did the run.

I found that I was one of the last to return to the runsite (but not the last as we shall see later on). This time the hounds had assembled on the lower track, guzzling down whatever refreshments they had brought from home. Surely it can’t be long before “normal service” resumes to this essential part of the hash experience?? After the AGPU perhaps? Nicola? Nicola? Are you listening? Anyway, it afforded a few pleasant moments to catch up with hashers not seen on trail and to generally recover from the exertions before once again Wee Willie called us to attention. More announcements – the same ones perhaps: my memory isn’t what it was. Anyway, the floor was soon turned over to RA Aids to entertain us with his skilled oratory. This was when it became clear to all that a few hounds were yet to return - Cinders being one of them, and it wasn’t getting any lighter. However, like the trooper he is, Aids pressed on. Sauerkraut was the first for a down down I think, for crime (or crimes) unknown. Sir Deadmund and a small hareem were also shamed for trying to outguess the hare – they made a beeline for the top of Scolty: WRONG!! I’m sure there were others too. SIRA Ballerina also chipped in with a trio of miscreants (that Sauerkraut again I’m sure) in a quick fire round of down downs. Around this point in proceedings Cinders returned, unscathed it seemed, and attention turned to Hagissimo who had been spotted by Cinders, Numskull and others some time before, deep in the woods. Aids closed the circle in the traditional manner with a drink and a song for Shakey, but as soon as this was completed search parties began to be organised and Olymprick made a plea for help to find his best hashing chum – could we all go and toot our horns at the same time? Perhaps it would act as an aural beacon to guide Hagissimo home. All the runs I’ve been on and I’ve never done that before! Amazing. Well, I don’t know if this was the magic moment, but very shortly afterwards LBS and Lightning Bolt came running back to the cars saying Hagissimo was almost home, and sure enough only minutes later he emerged from the deepening gloom none the worse for his late night experiences. All’s well that end’s well, eh Shaky? No doubt many tales of derring-do were recounted in Scott Skinner’s later on.

Should there be a next time – until then.,

ON ON,

SERG


1985 - Mon 09 Aug 2021 - Netherton Business Park - Hare: Not Dot & Biggles- Scribe: Olivia

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 1985

Monday 09 August 2021

Netherton Business Centre, Kemnay

Hares Not Dot & Biggles

Scribe by Olivia

Rolling into the hash late with Clemens while the history talk was already in progress I was given the wonderful job of scribe for the first time. I did however make it in time to hear that the biggest film in 1985 was “Back to the Future” in which Doc Brown (the mad scientist) warns Marty (the time traveller) “Whatever happens don’t go to 2020” so I do know to say that on this very hash we all went back to the future!

Drillbit was then called out for deciding to make up for not registering at last week’s run by registering twice this week. Not sure if he realises we can’t actually go back to the future..(we’re all heading into the future, Drillbit is just dragging his heels. Ed)

Not Dot and Biggles, this week’s hares, then entered the circle to give us instructions for the run and demonstrate for our three new runners. Unclear however, if anyone listened to this… Biggles choose to ignore his own advice and turned up in shorts while The Penguin and Toy Boy Tom on the other hand took the advice very seriously. (Pesky hares. Ed)

We were then released onto the trail which started off as a big group but quickly split up due to the number of false trails Biggles had left for us. This proved a challenge for many with Wee Willie, T Rex Cock and hound Sherlock having to resort to technology in order to find their way.

At one point we came across a river crossing which most traversed using the rocks but Lazy Bastard Son choose to jump straight into, presumably not expecting to be soaked up to his t-shirt. While the front runners continued on through the forest, Glasgow and Panty Pockets headed off with the maps to find the shortcuts leaving the rest of the walkie-talkies to fend for themselves. This behaviour is inadvisable and should not be taken as inspiration for the future. Eventually, most of us made it to the On In which was thankfully not a false trail and took us across a field and back to the car park.

The circle began when it was decided enough people had returned, there will always be a few sacrificed to the hash. A number of down downs were handed out by Aids and guest RA Zak. Glasgow started it off by showing us how to do a COVID safe down down, I presume she received training on how to do this from Nicola Sturgeon herself. Smiler was then given one for talking while the RA was trying to speak, possibly this was on purpose as she seemed far too happy to have received one until she released it was alcohol free. As this was going on Jet Slag and High Maintenance appeared in the wrong direction, (did they realise you just have to follow the flour?) and so were awarded a down down for their efforts. Clemens was given a down down and named Mushroom Dick for arriving back from the run with a mushroom in tow and explaining to anyone who would listen how to tell a poisonous from an edible mushroom. The three new runners Caroline, Chris and Katherine also received a down down and Ballerina was given a down down (reason unclear) which he passed onto his son and his sons friend for stealing his beer. Zak then had to be given a down down for giving more down downs than required (think the power may have gone to his head) and Barbarella received a down down for breaking COVID rules and sharing his salty nuts, according to my sources with multiple individuals… There were probably more but I had lost track by this point and have also had enough of writing. It was around this point however when Struth and Splash N Dash finally turned up cancelling the search party that was about to head out to find them.

All in all a great hash which I have hopefully done justice in my scribe.

On On Olivia

List of runners:

Aids

Bag O Bones

Ballerina

Barbarella

Biggles

Blagger

Bruce Almighty

Caroline Hughes (NR)

Centrefold

Chris Riddle (NR - Jimmy? Ed)

Cinders

Clemens (Mushroom Dick, Ed)

Sir Deadman Hillary

Drillbit

Fifi

FireFlaps

Glasgow

High maintenance

Hippo

Jans

JC

Jetslag

Julie

Kate Webb(Kit Kat, (2 or 4 fingers? Ed)

Katherine Dashper (NR)

LBS

Linda Toca

Little Shit

Mr T

MRS 'T'

Muff diver

Nev

Not Dot (Hare)

Olivia (Scribe)

Panty Pockets

Pink Panther

Prickly bush

Red Stripe

Ryan

Sauerkraut

Sergio

Shaky

Sharnie

Smiler

Splash N Dash

Stonaah

Struth

T.Rex Cock

Toy Boy Tom

The Penguin

Underlay

Wee Willie

White Bolt

Zak


1984 - Mon 02 Aug 2021 - Kirktown Garden Centre - Hare: Fire Flaps - Scribe: SauerKraut

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run No: 1984

Mon 02 Aug 2021

Kirktown Garden Centre

Hare: FireFlaps

Scribe: Sauerkraut

Just back from a trip to the continent and going to the AH3, I was grabbing my Dalmatian shorts from the top of the pile (note: proper hash shorts from the KL Mother Hash), which were apparently a bit ‘extravagant’ for the AH3 hashers, certainly for our GM, who didn’t think twice who should be scribe and now you have to bear with me.

It was an excellent turnout, 53 in total, although only 51 had signed up. Never seen so many hashers on a AH3 run before. After some mingling, touching elbows, stroking dogs, the hash master made some announcements, most important: the hash AGM on 29th August (just over 3 weeks to go). So if you want to raise your profile and become an official, or have something relevant to report like best hash, best scribe, etc., please get in touch with a committee member.

The history man referred to George Orwell and his 1984 novel. Apart from being out 35 years, most of his predictions and visions became true: Big Brother is watching you, Alexa listening in to every word, fake news everywhere, CCTVs, and so on. If you haven’t read the book or seen the movie, it is worthwhile. A big clap to the history man.

Next was Fire Flaps, the hare. She gave an excellent run-down of the hash signs and instructions for her run, though nobody really listened as we found out a little later. I suppose she is used to that as a teacher. And the hashers may be no different (or even worse???) than her school kids with respect to attention span, memory and ability to absorb information.

The pack took off, many fast front runners competing, but Fire Flaps laid it very cleverly with long back checks and false trails, which kept the pack nicely together. She also took care of the walkers, who got maps for the trail and the short cuts.

The trail started quite innocently on roads and pathways, but quickly veered off into grassy and bushy countryside. We got a warning about nettles, but still: a lot of mainly older hashers turned up in shorts, possibly with the experience of decades of hashing, that the young, eager front runners would flatten the undergrowth (and catch the ticks).

It didn’t take long and the pack was in utter confusion mixing up back checks with false trails. Luckily the hare wasn’t far away and helped out.

After going through grass, nettles and other undergrowth, we ended up at a river. It was fun to walk or run in the river and reminded me of the typical Borneo hashes. Then a steep uphill climb followed, culminating in some grassy areas at the plateau. At a remarkable bird feeding station, we caught up with the walkers. The rest was easy-peasy with a short stretch back to the carpark at Kirktown Garden Centre.

We waited a while for the stragglers and walkers before the official part started. Glasgow gave a demonstration how to do a covid compliant down-down. Our visitors from Guildford, Dr. Pussy and Camping Gaz, got the first opportunity to practice, followed by Olympric, who was not happy with the alcohol free beer, and Underlay. LBS and White Bolt paid with a down-down for their racing behavior and Bog Bonker for showing up after 25 years. What did she do all that time? Was it an induced coma? Drill Bit was punished for not signing up, which I hope will be soon part of Covid history. Struth, Not Dot and Shaky were next and finally Fire Flaps, the hare, being rewarded with a down-down for a great hash, expertly laid trail, devious checks to keep the pack together an giving us a real hash experience we were all longing for since lockdown started in March last year. Well done Fire Flaps.

In the past I always added some jokes, but since they were usually edited out because of political correctness issues, I refrain this time, sorry.

The on-on was at Fire Flaps and I hope you hashers contributed generously to support Crabbit’s London marathon found raising.

Some more interesting facts: 3 police officers showed up at the Fireflaps on-on party at 11pm due to noise complaints, but somehow she managed to calm them down and the party went on until 4am. I just hope that the parents of her school kids showed some understanding (because I am sure the party was talk of the town) and that it wasn’t too tough for Fire Flaps to teach just a few hours later.

All in all, run 1984 was possibly the best hash with the best on-on for the last 2 years.

On-on,

Sauerkraut

Those who ran:

AidsBag O BonesBarbarella Bigglesbin linerBog BonkerBruce Almighty Camping GazCentrefoldCharlieCindersClemensDeadmundDr PussyFifiFireflapsGemmaGlasgowGobfullgoblessHippoIcebreakerJCJoe JeewskziLaurieLBSLindaLittle ShitMister T / FochabersMRS TNevNot DotNumbskullOliviaOlymprickPanty PocketsPigironPink PantherDrillbitRed Stripe SauerkrautShakySharnieSmilerStrutht.rex cockThe PenguinThrupennies Twizzle UnderlayWee WillieWhite BoltZak



1983 - Mon 26 Jul 2021 - Balmedie - Hare: Barbarella - Scribe: Drillbit

AH3 Run 1993 Balmedie Beach - 26th July 2021

Hare: Barbarella

Hopefully a permanent return to proper hashing after a sixteen month lay off, Covid permitting. Although it was not quite a 16 month postponement to hashing, as we know it, it was replaced with an excellent alternative with JC’s ‘FOOFAAHs’.

The clan gathered en masse (43) at the Balmedie beach car to finally meet up together at our regular start time of 19:00. Tier 0 now allowed the complete pack to meet up for the first time together rather than in our 20 minute spaced bubbles. The large car park was most suitable for our first ‘socially distanced’,BYOB, larger group meetup

Two new runners, Roxanna and Ryan were introduced! Barbarella explained the basics of the run to them and the few twists he also wanted the pack to follow. This only confused the old timers. What’s a Fishhook? We don’t do that! It’s an age thing.

The run started towards the sand dunes. Ballerina taking a slightly different track, avoiding the boardwalk and short cutting over the sandhills rather than around.

At this time I was halfway between the FRB’s and the Walkie Talkies when on rounding a dune we found our first obstacle. Water! A few years ago we would have all ploughed straight across not caring about it. Not all of us wanted to get our feet wet, me included, and 70% went around to the sand bar. One of our newer runners took a wee spill and would have stayed drier if she had just waded straight across and saved herself a 200 metre detour. By the time I rounded the water the main pack had disappeared.

The run meandered though the sand hills on an excellent route past the Ice House. Muff Dyver had positioned himself strategically on a sand dune with his drone filming the runners as they passed, Fireflaps thinking she was being chased and dive bombed by a demented gull.

On reaching the beach there was a lengthy run (walk for me and others) along the beach looking for an escape up the steep sand cliffs. Eventually we saw where the FRBs had fought the way up a steep sand slope to eventually disappear South towards the Blackdog Rifle Ranges, at least another mile further away from the car park.

TRex and myself checked West after the struggle off the beach and Sir Deadmund checked North. The remaining Walkie Talkies decided, f__k this, and headed back home along the beach. Not having found flour, Trex and I had overheard at the start that folk had seen flour in the village and we decided to shortcut West to try and pick up the trail but found a reed bed that was all but impassable! We eventually picked up the trail at the Southerly carpark expecting to be last in having covered only 4.1/2 miles and taken 1.3/4 hours.

Little did we know at that time the run was 6 miles (10k) and some of the runners straggled in after about 2.3/4 hours and I’m now thankful I missed that part.

It was an excellent run and evening. Plenty of views and challenges (sand!) and a fabulous sunset. Thank you Malcolm.

Down Downs:

We had our very first circle in months led by Twizzle, all be it, with no beer. Our Covid committee rules said not to share!!! It was BYOB.

Sadly, Hippo reminded us that the legendary climber Rick Allen (Sherpa) who had met his wife Twix when on the hash, was an old AH3 hasher and had sadly died when caught in an avalanche while attempting a new route up K2. He had got a down down for not planting a Hash flag at the top of Everest after climbing it. Next weeks circle should honour a real legend.

Laurie,Olivia and ‘Peat’ for not social distancing, the threesome. They were actually flat mates in a bubble!

Toy Boy Tom for his fine 26 mile marathon walk for charity somewhere in England

Twizzle with a real DD as he was the only one with a drink albeit 0.5% and everybody else had drank theirs before and during the circle while he talked. Down downs are difficult with no beer!

Bin liner and Roxana.

Hare, Barbarella, for a long and strenuous run, so much so, that most of the pack gave up and walked back including Hippo!

Drillbit was gifted reflective bicycle clips to match his biking gear

Ryan and Roxanna ( new runners )

Struth and Bin liner completing the full trail arriving mid circle.

Splash N Dash, Gemma, Kate all strolling in just after the circle ended. We did not notice they were missing!

Next time I hope we’ll be relaxed enough to have real down downs as most folk had drank there own beer or drinks and it was difficult for our RA Twizzle! and the first timers and newer runners will be back.

ON ON Drillbit

Run list.

Ballerina

Barbarella

Biggles

Bin Liner

Bruce Almighty

CannaeBeArsed

Centrefold

Clemens

Deadmund

Drillbit

Fifi

Fireflaps

Gemma Emslie

Glasgow

High maintenance

Hippo

Icebreaker

JC

Kate Webb

Laurie

Little Shit

Makin

Muff Diver

Nev

Not Dot

Olivia

Pigiron

Pink Panther

Red Stripe

Roxana Altamirano

Ryan Mascheri

Sandra Smith-Carr

Serg

Shaky

Sharnie

Splash N Dash

Struth

T.Rex Cock

TBT

The Penguin

Thrupennies

Twizzle

Wee Willie

Zak



1982 - Mon 19 Jul 2021 - Clinterty Woods - Hare: Pink Panther - Scribe: Rats

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 1982

Date: Monday 19th July 2021

Hare: Pink Panther & Rodger Dodger

Location: Clinterty Woods

Scribe: Rats

43 runners, 3 no-shows

I was excited, though nervous about my 1st Covid Compliant Hash.

I’d set off to Clinterty in eco vehicle (Defender) after putting on Hazmat suit and respirator, only to be relieved on arrival that the GM / Covid Officer was taking temperatures with a digital thermometer NOT NHS preferred rectal versions.

Spotted a pony tailed fading rock star look alike - realised was Hippo !!! Crowd funding to be arranged to pay for some “Just for Men”.

Barbarella appeared with a full vehicle - with individuals who looked as had just left a masked Swingers party........

GM and Pink Panther were informative about trail and that soon St Nicola would allow bubbles of 50 to allow an even MORE normal hash. (How will we cope??)

For The Official Record it “appeared” to the Scribe that all Government Edicts were followed including no snogging or exchange of bodily fluids.

Feedback received from various Bubbles:-

* Icebreaker now a makeup consultant who advised Red Stripe

* Plumbum (well named as followed her for most of the trail) has apparently fetish about “Skin so Soft”

* Ballerina clearly benefitted from Lockdown with VERY nice newish Audi (drug dealing?)

* Struth proving that has only got quicker since my last hash (Ballarinas drugs?)

* Prickly Bush on arrival proved birds prefer to crap on Mercs / Audis / Landrover’s

* Shaky DEFINITELY had vintage AH3 Hash Shirt of day - 1999 charity run

* Panty Pockets fastest start from Circle - is lunch still at 1pm???

* Hash Hound Boston definitely Dog of The Day (limited competition)

* Rodger Dodger definitely best equipped Hasher - dressed for Himalayan trip

Pack adjourned to 4 Mile - Scribe clearly geographically challenged went to Kingswell instead of Bucksburn version!!! Though after realisation joined a well-attended post Hash gathering in the outdoor beer garden.

Hash PMT:

POSITIVES

Location / great trail/ helpful charming hares / good sociable pack / no Covid infectious Welsh Male Voice singers riding Unicorns spotted

Lots of pink flour / wool

Crisps and peanuts at 4 Mile

NEGATIVE

No pixies or fairies spotted in forest

Crossing the cleared woodland tested some expensive hip surgery and stabbed leg with viciously sharp twig

THOUGHT PROVOKING

Will we see Pixies or Unicorns next week???

On On

Rats


AH3 Run 1982

Date: Monday 19th July 2021

Hare: Pink Panther & Roger Dodger

Location: Clinterty Woods - lower car park near the Sparrows training facility

Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/USj9hVNN2Kw8DPYG6

Trail Risk Assessment: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QQtSOmMaX_qiUjntl-XXX46i4eZyzCsz/view?usp=sharing

Other information: Trail marking will be in pink flour placed on trees or on the ground where there are no trees. Pink wool will also be used where no trees. Checks will be 3 spots and/or circle on ground. There are no back checks or marked false trails.

The start of the trail will be found at the east side of the car park, towards the upper car park.

The trail are mostly on hard pack paths, but with some smaller paths through the trees. A short section on a quiet road followed by a short section through a cleared area - branches underfoot.

No obstacles to traverse, i.e. river/stream crossings, barbed wire fences, mountains, roads.


1981 - Mon 12 Jul 2021 - Castle Fraser - Hare: Hippo & Mrs T - Scribe: Sir Deadmund Hillary, Muff Diver, Shaky

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 1981

Date: Monday 12th July 2021

Hare: Hippo

Location: Castle Fraser

Scribe: Sir Deadmund Hillary, Muff Diver, Shaky

40 runners, 1 no-show

High Maintenance, Tia the Dog and Muff Diver approached the run site and witnessed JC and Fireflaps sprinting along the road. At least we knew where part of the trail went and in which direction. Having said that, JC often goes off at a tangent and is best not followed.

After parking up, Tia jumped out of the van, took one look at scary Ballerina and promptly jumped back in the van. She knows a dodgy character when she sees one.

Bubble 2 assembled ready for the off. Covid officer Ballerina took his responsibilities seriously and stopped us from leaving early which meant we had to Underlay who arrived on the stroke of 6:20pm.

He had even managed to stop Little Shit and Sharnie leaving their usual 20 minutes early apparently - no mean feat.

Despite his best attempts new runner Kate from Stonehaven had seemingly turned up and left,chasing Bubble 1 only to be contacted by buddy Splash and Dash (still to be formally christened) who was heard to mention that the ‘race’ hadn’t started yet. That heinous misspeak was quickly corrected and Underlay finally arrived so, after a quick briefing from hare Hippo Bubble 2 were off.

Sir Deadmund Hillary had already googled Fraser’s Castle and came up with this.

Hippo chose the spectacular location of Castle Fraser for his hash. The evening weather was wonderful. Castle Fraser is the most elaborate Z-plan castle in Scotland. The castle stands in a vast area of landscaped grounds, woodland and farmland which includes a 19th century walled garden. There is Horrible History evidence of an older square tower dating from around 1400 within the current castle of death. Great place for hashing!

The run started by the castle, so that we could enjoy its magical charm.

As bubble 2 started down the hill to the castle, Kate appeared heading towards us, preferring to run with us rather than Bubble 1, and who can blame her.

There was no flour before this point, so not to waken any sleeping knights. There was a nice loop through Miss Bristow’s wood before “coming out” on the main road to Kemnay. Only for 20 yards before turning up a lane to Braeneil Farm, where the farm girls kindly told us which way to go at the check. Onward to Lauchintilly Wood.

After running past the Castle, the trail headed through the woods and into the fields beyond. It was one of those trails that seemed like it never stopped going uphill and bubble 2 quickly divided into 3 or 4 mini bubbles with the FRBs including Cannae be Arsed, Red Stripe and Prickly Bush and Underlay, charging off into the distance shortly after the Fraser memorial; they either knew what was inscribed on it or didn’t care because they didn’t stop for that bit of history.

The mini-bubble with Shaky, Splash and Dash and Karen, who kept stopping to take photos, came across Numbskull by the shooting ladder, all by himself, waving a map and muttering about a lack of shortcuts.

If The Penguin reminded me of Piglet a few weeks ago, this was Numbskull’s Eeyore moment.

High Maintenance asked for a chocolate stop. She was enjoying a huge chunk of Dairy Milk until it broke her back teeth. Muff Diver later declined Sir D’s offer of chocolate. As he’s already said, poor HM suffered a broken tooth and is just now back from the dentist with a temporary filling. It obviously wasn’t Cadburys, probably some crap from Poundland where he usually shops. Shame on you!

Muff Diver and Tia cycled by without stopping, covering more ground at high speed, finding the trail at every check, and enabling HM and company to avoid walking even a single unnecessary step.

Tia had enough of this and decided to abandon the mini bubble of Glasgow, HM, and Sir D.

Racing ahead and after a while arriving at a check where and lucky enough to hear Pink Panther shout “ON ON” to Drillbit. We had a blether and approached a cattle grid. Tia doesn’t understand cattle grids and she had to be rescued, dangling, by Drillbit. Top man.

Traversing the big hill, we caught up with the walkie,talkies of Bubble 1, Wee Willie, Panty Pockets and Orienteer. This was a good opportunity to take it easy for a while after all, the trail seemed to be going uphill, again. Several checks latter a lesson in following flour and not the person in front of you or painted red arrows caused a longish back track, just after the appropriately named ‘Walkend’.

Just beyond Greenmoss Farm, Bubble 4 (without Struth) caught up with Bubble 3. Everybody should have gone right at this point passed the lake, but Sir Deadmund Hillary took them on a short cut back to the car park.

Shaky found trail again along a sharp right turn to the original path and reached the next check first and checked left. The rest of Bubble 1-1/2 caught up meantime and held the check en-masse until Wee Willie had had consulted his mapping app and decided to head down the road that ‘must’ lead to the castle.

Too soon to be heading in, so checking right downhill found the trail which wound its way past a very scenic lochan and then some children playing with an uprooted tree trunk ( whatever keeps them happy) before climbing a steep hill; it wouldn’t be a Hippo trail without a very steep hill or shiggy would it? and it was too dry for the latter. Unusually Shaky had broken the last 3 checks with abnormal ease and at the top of the hill was passed by the FRBs of Bubble 3, Barbarella, Zac, Centrefold and Julie helped by my calling; at least it stopped Barbarella heading off to Kemnay on one of his typical detours.

Arriving at the On In, Bubble 2 walkie,talkies Pink Panther and Drillbit had already short cut home. Then, more SCBs, too numerous to mention but including Muff Diver on two wheels, appeared through a side gate having seemingly missed the scenic parts of a most excellent trail.

Bag ‘O’ Bones had to run the trail in reverse to find Panty Pockets and his car keys!

Muff Diver had a can of Punk’s finest IPA stashed in my van which went down very nicely. “Always do it nicely” is something my second favourite Harriett is known to say. Having said that, Red Stripe showed me a hot photo of her kissing B****** so maybe she’s moved up into 2nd position!

A wary eye was kept on bad dog Boston as he’s known to pee in other folks vehicles and Muff Divers side door was wide open.

At the OnOn we were presented with quality foofaah shirts by JC. Wee Willie noticed that a printing error resulted in Sir Deadmund Hillary’s shirt having the logo on the back by mistake. Drillbit remarked that this would make it a collector’s item in years to come. Fifi spoilt the conversation by saying the shirt was on backwards.

Fifi jumped into her lovely car but crashed into a wall on the way out. Many hashers rushed to enjoy the moment but were disappointed when there was a large “ping” as the bodywork suddenly jumped back into place. That’s good Korean workmanship for you!

So, in all, a very good night out and the expected Covid Officer Gestapo, didn’t materialise.

Horrible History for 1981

- Greece joins the EU after hiding its budget deficit.

- Serial killer Peter Sutcliffe, the "Yorkshire Ripper", get life imprisonment for killing 13 women.

- Iran releases the 52 Americans held for 444 days ending the Iran hostage crisis.

- The first DeLorean stainless steel sports car, with gull-wing doors, is built.

- Bobby Sands dies on hunger strike at HM Prison Maze.

- The first London Marathon starts, with 7,500 runners.

- UK pop group Bucks Fizz's win the Eurovision Song Contest.

- AIDS is first seen in Los Angeles

- Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer get happily married

AH3 Run 1981

Date: Monday 12th July 2021

Hare: Hippo & Mrs T

Location: Castle Fraser

Sauchen, Inverurie, Aberdeenshire. AB51 7LD

OS Ref: NJ722125

Website: https://www.nts.org.uk/visit/places/castle-fraser

Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/FZGx15nvrRWUdyPP7

What3words: https://w3w.co/snoozing.typical.coasting

Trail Risk Assessment: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zBeHYKIUzpsogVmG6juDXgCmVX1T5fXv/view?usp=sharing

Other information: Trail marking will be in white flour or sawdust depending on weather conditions and terrain. Either on the ground or on trees.

Checks will be circles and 3 dots on trees when available.

There are no back checks/falsies and ON ON will be within 100 paces of the check.

The start of the trail will be found on the other side of the castle with trail markings starting near the disabled parking.

The trail is mostly on footpaths and tracks. Relatively flat so ideal for runners. Leave gates as you find them – do not leave open for those following behind.

No obstacles to traverse, i.e. river/stream crossings, barbed wire fences, mountains, roads.


1980 - Mon 05 Jul 2021 - Bennachie - Hare: Little Shit & Sharnie - Scribe: Centrefold

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 1980

Date: Monday 5th July 2021

Hare: Little Shit & Sharnie

Location: Bennachie Visitor Centre Car Park

Scribe: Centrefold

41 runners, not a bad turn out!

Your scribe: Centrefold (this is what you get for signing up last for the run; you get this job. Drillbit did breathe a sigh of relief as he’d got form in signing up late. Ed) Also a slight indication of racing?

Musings of a Resident Covid Officer:

At the start of every trail there are those last minute adjustments to attire, Wee Willie departed the car park in a nice pair of black polished city shoes, and only realise at the first check! Promptly returned to the car park to don his crappy old hashing trainers. Zak was still in hash training mode, and forgot to put on some decent length socks to ward off the sheep ticks. A loaned pair of gaiters saved the day. Numbskull had difficulty deciding whether to take his walking stick or brolly, it didn’t rain. (Guess what he chose. Ed)

A welcome to new runners Linda Toca and Julie Silva.

Biggles arriving back in the carpark at the front of the pack, and appeared to be racing!!! Bag ‘O’ Bones came in a close second; sweating and smelling like a soggy dog. Coming up the rear was Centrefold and Icebreaker. (I heard they like it that way. Ed)

Panty Pockets & The Penguin made the most of the short cuts, a pair of born SCBs, nearly the first back, but not quite! Fireflaps was also caught racing, but in reality only caught-up with Wee Willie, Panty Pockets and NotDot who had successfully short cutted.

Little Shit was his usual suave and debonair hasher of distinction and Sharnie his carer ensured a fantastic trail, well laid with orgasmic views of the Aberdeenshire countryside! (Sharnie had also just graduated as a new Covid Officer, which entitled her to a session of being bitten to death by midges. Ed)

Binliner – Bouncing about like a spring chicken, must be over doing the Sanatogen/Viagra Tablets. Speedy Gonzales found it difficult keeping up with grandad. Roger-me-More also must be on the same tabs, and up and running again, unfortunately Underlay has been in training and left her to find her own way on trail (bad boy. Ed). Sir Deadman Hillary was heard to say “not ‘illy enough!”

Twizzle managed to keep up the rear of Kate, who was dressed in a racy red outfit. He was glad when she ran out of steam after 2 miles of hurdling clumps of heather. (Twizzle did at least manage to eat three pieces of pizza! Ed)

Struth was last into the carpark, but placed the blame Sergio’s escort services with special stopovers at selected picnic spots! Not so amazing, but Struth managed to complete the whole trail without breathing in!.(Ask Sergio. Ed)

Blagger and Hippo discussed at length their lockdown haircuts, (I must admit I couldn’t tell them apart. Must be the consequence of falling out of bed and breaking an arm, but who am I to create some unfounded gossip. Ed)

Cinders was ominously conspiring with NoDot! It’s a secret??? (Nah, NotDot has been wed to Biggles for 40 years, don’t let on to Biggles. Ed)

A fair number seemed to have satnav difficulties. (In some cases satnag problems. Ed) Prickly Bush took a while to realise that Ballater is quite a distance from Bennachie! Sergio had the same issue from Milltimber, as did Shaky from Banchory as his satnav took him to Grant Arms in Moneymusk.(Is this a result of 5G vaccinations? Ed)

Red Stripe looked most smug after winning all the party games at her daughter's hen night (obviously had a misspent youth. Ed).

These guys did stuff, but what? Charlie, Barbarella, Hot Flasher, Wood Dick, Karthik, Laurie, Nev, Olivia, Pink Panther and Threesome.


AH3 Run 1980

Date: Monday 5th July 2021

Hare: Little Shit & Sharnie

Location: Bennachie Visitor Centre Car Park, Pitcaple, Inverurie AB51 5HY

(pay & display, but the nice lady in the café said they are broken?)

https://www.bennachievisitorcentre.org.uk/

Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/AVn45ttM2JKKo47aA

What3words: https://w3w.co/disputes.speeds.warms

All attendees for AH3's next run must complete and submit this Form; https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1yz-_H_M84EiL0AmpkUI0GeN5rP_yx82rUqCW1YTyD8A


Trail Risk Assessment: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1knWL6OA-Q53Nk5uHlC985NNiuPE12Yq4/view?usp=sharing

Other information: The trail is laid in the traditional AH3 fashion with flour on the trees. Checks will be marked with a circle, but where the ground is overgrown with grass/heather, three spots will placed on a tree or post to indicate the check point. All checks are; find flour and “ONON”. There are no back checks of false trails.

After the 2nd check there is rough ground underfoot; this can be short cutted if required, but you will miss a fine woodland trail.

For the slower members of the pack maps will be available. See the hare of the day when signing in at the run site, or drop an email to LS for more info.

Near the end of the trail are numerous picnic areas. If you decide on a pleasant sit and chat for a while, please remember the outdoor social distance restrictions currently in place.

All the above is weather dependent.

1979 - Mon 28 Jun 2021 - Foggieton - Hare: Binliner - Scribe: Nev

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run No. 1979

Date: Monday 28 June 2021

Location: Foggieton

Hare: Binliner

Scribe: Nev

A grand total of 31 hashers including the hare and C.O. for the evening Twizzle made the short trip to Foggieton for this week’s run. We weren't joined by 4 no-shows who had various apologies true or false tabled in their absence.

Obviously anyone from outside of the city probably had further to travel than normal hence Bag O' Bones and Panty Pocket arrived after the hare had set off on his sweep up mission, obviously the early tea wasn't quite early enough today.

Personally as I stay in Mannofield and have nothing to do all day (hence being volunteered by Barbarella to write this) I was able to have an extended afternoon nap.

Arriving at the start point drivers were greeted with a parking charge sign and its accompanying meter which for reasons unknown The Penguin thought should be paying out to him.

Bag O'Bones and Not Dot arrived late to avoid the said charges only to find out that they're in force for 24 hours. The only winners other than the parking meter (assuming The Penguin was unsuccessful in his attempt to extract cash from it) were Binliner whose recceing had taken in the finer details and had parked elsewhere and the equally smug Hippo and Twizzle who'd arrived on two wheels and so kept a pound in their pocket.

The first Bubble out of the starting blocks included Orienteer, obviously enjoying the warm evening by making a rare appearance minus a top-coat, and Wood Dick who although thankfully fully clothed wasn't wearing any hash regalia as he "doesn't want to ruin it by running in it".

Pig Iron was also out in Bubble 1 and managed to arrive back before Bubble 2 had set off.

Barbarella's taxi arrived fashionably late with two thirds of Bubble 3 on board and with numbers depleted by the aforementioned no-shows half of Bubble 4 AKA Laurie and Olivia who were raring to go were duly transferred over, leaving only Bag O' Bones and Panty Pocket in Bubble 4.

Once underway everyone had a course of around 9.5km, or just under 6 miles in old money to negotiate. It started off with a mile or so of undulating grassland before heading off for a mix of forest and field tracks for the remainder of the run.

As usual towards the end the faster ones from later Bubbles caught up with those in front although Drillbit who'd started at the back of Bubble 2 still managed to finish ahead of half of Bubble 3's young guns.

The Penguin rolled in and duly retired to the pub, whether his beer was paid for in pound coins is open to speculation.

Biggles, Cannae Be Arsed, Hippo and Prickly Bush rolled in close together followed by Little Shit, Not Dot and Sharnie.

Red Stripe and Icebreaker forgot where they were for a minute and had a race like sprint for the line.

Barbarella, Laurie and Olivia made the most of the course which was virtually all runnable to disappear off into the distance at the head of Bubble 3 leaving Nev, Underlay, Zak, Roger-Me-More and Karthik to follow along at a more leisurely pace. (Barbarella, Laurie and Olivia were spotted well off trail leaving the new housing estate, a miscalculated short cut!. Ed).

By 20.45 everyone was accounted for including Numbskull who even though he had the hare's map had set off in the opposite direction to everyone else.

The general consensus was that it was a really enjoyable trail, even though a few had the same trouble as Orienteer of going round in endless loops at one of the checks.

Big thanks to Binliner for laying the trail and shepherding us all around, Twizzle for C.O. duties and everyone for the socially distanced post run company.

No thanks whatsoever to whoever let Sauerkraut off of the hook for scribing this or to Barbarella for volunteering me for the role instead.

DISCLAIMER

I've written this as a relative newbie to AH3 and don't know all of the people mentioned. If anyone feels offended then please feel free to erm.......feel offended.

Additional notes were supplied by a man last seen roaring off into the distance on a rather fast motorcycle.

Post trail virtual circle:

Down downs:

      • Twizzle muddling up names of Zac and Nev

      • Barbarella Could not be arsed to do the Scribe

      • Red strip and ice Breaker racing on the Hash

      • Bag 0 Bones and Panty pockets: late arrival so ran on their own

      • Panty Pockets: Hashy Birthday

      • Bag O Bones: Waited to Tuesday to try and get a table out but no spaces so Panty Pockets had to cook her own tea!

      • Numbskull stealing the Hares map and still going the wrong way at the start claimed he made every check but this was refuted by those on trail.

H3 Run 1979

Date: Monday 28th June 2021

Hare: Binliner

Location: Foggieton Forest Car Park (pay & display?)

Baillieswells Rd, Bieldside, Aberdeen AB15 9BS

Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/naciuaX1BNvuwWpT9

What3words: https://w3w.co/collapsed.bookmark.materials

Trail Risk Assessment: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1n2A4KmaIWMoNSaOYNHjs6ZCNT5I2Cskv/view?usp=sharing


1978 - Mon 21 Jun 2021 - Brathens - Hare: Twizzle - Scribe: Toy Boy Tom


Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run No. 1978

Date: Monday 21 June 2021

Location: Brathens ECO Business Park

Google Map

https://goo.gl/maps/HvX7jXepfQvUhKYL8

Hare: Twizzle.

Scribe: Toy Boy Tom

Bubble 1 assembled on a fine sunny mid-summer's day evening for Twizzle’s run. JC and Fifi arrived head of time, with one yellow wheel on their chariot. JC side-stepped the question on why, but all was revealed at the end of the run.

Twizzle set the scene by warning of tick infestations, fields of triffid stinging nettles and obscured flour trail, as improvised as ever taking a leaf out of the Simmer Dim hashes toilet paper is used to augment the flour. Now some might say that this is because the trail is "shit" sadly Twizzle failed to mention that some other folk have been marking trees with white plastic. Of course the smarter hashers realized that you needed toilet paper + flour to be reliably on.

35 Registered to attempt Twizzles latest master trail. Zac being too tired after compiling last week’s epic scribe failed to show up for this week’s no doubt scared of being asked to do another Scribe. Sam was too busy with student essay on petroleum extraction must be too taxing to find something positive about the industry these days. That left us with 33 hero's.

Bubble 1 actually set off at 18:00 prompt led by Cannae Be Arsed and JC heading off straight in the wrong direction while Little Shit, Sharnie, Sauerkraut, TBT and The Penguin did spot the flour placed on the rocks lining the trail behind the warehouses on the site. Drillbit hung back and requested a short cut as he was still stiff. Taking pity Twizzle let him know the short cut at the reservoir. FiFi also complained of poor knee and was told of the short cut. (But why does The Penguin have 6 cans of dog food, and a dog bowl in the boot of his car? It may be something to do with a wee discussion I overheard! “As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.” Ed)

On-On to the first check. Cannae Be Arsed headed up the main track, which left TBT to investigate whether or not the faint line through trodden long grass was due to a bucking buck heading home or a Twizzle laying a trail. Well, the Hare had out-smarted TBT because the trodden long grass was due to Twizzle laying a decoy trail. The check worked, in that it was eventually broken just after back-runners Drillbit, FiFi and Boston had arrived.

On through the ferns, alerting any ticks the possibility of human fresh in the following Bubble 2.

The ferns thankfully gave way to woodland and some really nice trails through the trees. However, dangers lurked: the woodlands had already earlier on claimed one victim. As the first part of the trail was blazed through the forest, Twizzle, in setting the trail, had equipped himself with secateurs to clear a way through and also moved numerous log from being obstructions to progress. Well this proved to be his undoing as in trying to move a fallen tree from across the trail he lost his balance and landed with the tree across both his legs on top of his nearly recovered knee and foot. Not willing to let AH3 down he limped round setting the rest of the trail, but it was a bit shorter that planned for those FRB or fit folk left in the Hash. The Hare incapacitating himself probably save the pack from the potential Ball-Breaker combination of Twizzle being the Hare on the mid-summer longest day! The Hare, though, forewarns: “Wait to the next trail!”

At one point Bubble 1 met Bubble 1 member Sauerkraut heading up the trail towards them. He claimed that he had lost the trail, and presumably the rest of the bubble, and was not deliberately doing the down-downable action of a No No.

Now, your Scribe was in Bubble 1. It seems that a lot went on behind the Scribe’s back. The perpetrators may have through that being out of sight of the Scribe that their misdemeanours would have remained unreported. However, they didn’t escape the hawk eyes of Covid Officer Wee Willie and Hare Twizzle, whose words cannot be bettered:

Bubble 2 set off at 18:20 comprised of Cinders, Ed Kosa Wood Dick (what a mouthful for a handle), Threesome Mirka, Hippo, Icebreaker, Mrs T, Red Stripe and Fireflaps.

Bubble 3 assembled for a 18:40 start headed up by Barbarella, Gemma, Nev, Karthik, Prince, Pink Panther, Sandra Smith-Carr (looking back through the books, Sandra achieved 40 runs with AH3 in the old days, pre-run 180. Ed), Splash n dash and Samata, who announced that this was her last AH3 Hash as she was to Cambridge to help the bio tech industry fight COVID (loud applause). They all left on time as well.

Barbarella discovered that the forest road off the reservoir was a false trail and made it back to break check 3 leading downhill to the old logging track.

A couple of things may well have upset the tranquillity for Bubble 4 as it was assembling. Firstly, Panty Pockets seemed surprised that her stick was still broken from last week! Walking sticks, amazingly, don’t repair themselves like magic wands!

Also, before they set off, Bubble 1 arrived back in under an hour lead by a very sweaty JC and Cannae Be Arsed, (who was heard enquireing of JC, “How do people make new mates? Asking for a friend.” Ed) They were soon followed by Prickly Bush, TBT and The Penguin. They all emerged from the stinging nettles, unlike LS and Sharnie who instead arrived down a nicely mowed path. LS and Sharnie had not missed the only arrow leading off the forest road! Apparently Bubble 1 was not the only bubble to arrive the hard way rather than on the pathway!

So with Bubble 1 back in the chariot park, was the reason for JC and FiFi’s yellow wheel revealed? Well, not by them, although in the absence of the truth, it was obvious they had colour-coordinated the wheel with the colour of the FOOFAAH shirts that JC handed-out. A FOOFAAH man through and through!

Bubble 4 headed off, comprising Bag O’ Bones, Ballerina, Panty Pockets, Sergio and sweeper Twizzle. Bag O’ Bones heading down to the road before “ON back” was called by Twizzle. Twizzle recalls it was that Sergio was complaining that the flour markings were on the small size. I don't think we have a regulation that determines the blob size of trail markings?

Anyway, the 1st check this was broken by Ballerina and Panty Pockets with Bag O’ Bones also heading off elsewhere. The grass and ferns now had been nicely compressed by bubbles 1, 2 & 3 leading up to check 2.

This was broken again by Ballerina, and we climbed up towards the reservoir. Before descending to the reservoir Panty Pockets fell getting over the fallen tree this time not breaking her pole. Check 3 was quickly broken and we followed the trail over Brathens hill and up and down to Check 4 on the forest road leading to The Brathens homestead and farm.

At this point we caught up with the remnants of Bubble 3 returning from the Glassel road (that's where the trail went before?). Karthik thought the white plastic was the trail. Twizzle assisted here and the trail was revealed to all. We followed trail through woods at the side of a nice forest road to a very large circle eventually Ballerina found the trail actually on a forest path the first on this trail.

This was the furthest point from Check 5, Twizzle now sweeping with Sandra-SC, and Pink Panther crossed the burn leading to a lush green trail through the forest. This led to check 6, which was quickly broken again by Ballerina (Drillbit from Bubble 1 also broke the check here as well with Hippo from Bubble 2 now running trail in reverse!). This led us up hill where Barbarella, Karthik, Samata and others were waiting at a splendid view point with a strange cairn. Ballerina remarked this was probably a death bed! Twizzle improvised and created a check 7 marker with 3 toilet rolls as flags!

Down the hill to Check 8 through Check 9 and off up the large hill Pink Panther and Sandra-SC were still chatting so now Twizzle was running up trail and then waiting to they caught up.

The final check 10 was planned to divert the runners on a 2 - 3 mile loop through a boggy old forest but Twizzle slowed by the fallen tree did not have time to set the whole trail and also pick up Callum from school. So the FRB were spared this time. Remnants of bubble 3 and Bubble 4 were back to the cars by about 8:15 and about 4.1 miles duration.

During the Post trail Zoom Circle. Only 5 joined in before kick-off Down downs were awarded to:

  • Wee Willie, lazy boy staying in car park socialising,

  • Twizzle (Hare) (and managed to get his name in the scribe 21 times, Ed)

  • Red Stripe because she dialled in,

  • Pink Panther for chatting nonstop the whole trail to Sandra! And, (overheard on trail! “Well Sandra, I was thinking of running a marathon, but I think it might be too difficult getting all the roads closed and providing enough water for everyone.” Ed)

  • Numbskull who joined in 5 minutes before kick-off for boasting about his luxury vacation last week in Perthshire. Good to see him back. (He did remark, “I’ve decided to stop masturbating, since then I’ve not really felt myself.” Ed)

Scribe: TBT

with thanks to informants Twizzle and Wee Willie.

Those who Ran:



1977 - Mon 14 Jun 2021 - Potarch - Hare: Red Stripe - Scribe: Zac

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run No. 1977

Date: 14th June 2021

Location: Potarch Green

Hare: Red Stripe

Scribe: Zac

The night was young, much like the crew Barbarella has been recruiting over the lockdown via meetup, although these new recruits seem to still have their wits about them, unlike Little Shit and Sharnie with the rest of Bubble 1 who can no longer tell time and set off 10 minutes before the they were meant to start (it’s an effort to get back before the fit young things do!. The Penguin and Sauerkraut had gone for the flying start and took off at pace. At the first check The Penguin went AWOL and at the second check Sauerkraut after checking a long way uphill, said “stuff it” and decided not to lose height. Not too long after the bellow of Canna-B-arsed (bad boy, Bubble 2 early starter) reached our ears, and woosh, we were overtaken and out paced by Canna-B-arsed and Cinders. At this point a wee conversation was going on; “If I was an Olympic athlete, I’d rather come in last than win the silver medal. You win the gold, you feel good. You win the bronze, you think, ‘at least I got something.’ But you win that silver, that’s like, ‘Congratulations, you almost won! Of all the losers, you came in first! You’re the number one loser! No one lost ahead of you!’” Ed.)

Bubble 2 took flight, surprisingly on time, but Wee Willie & Shaky (bad boys, they were booked onto Bubble 1. Ed) managed to get themselves lost at check 4 – they were gratefully saved by Hippo (the SCB, headed downhill after he heard the dulcet tones of Canna-B- Arsed calling on, and ended up in front of Bubble 1l. Ed). JC disappeared after the 1st check (which is not unusual. Ed) and caught up with the Canadian athlete then lost him while checking out most of checks in wrong direction. Obviously he does not realise the trail was in a circle. Bubble 3 caught up with the trailing end of Bubble 2, Struth welcomed us into the lost cause and we spread out – several minutes later ‘ON ON’ was called from up the hill and the great climb began. Zak was convinced it was check 3 so hence forth shall it be named. (At this point another wee conversation was overheard; Zac walked into a chemist’s and asks, ‘Can I have a bar of soap, please?’ The chemist replied, ‘Do you want it scented?’

And Zac replied, ‘No, I’ll take it with me now.’” Ed)

We climbed and bundu bashed through the 2nd third of the trail, all extremely glad that it had been so dry for the weeks leading up to the Sluie Woods run, otherwise we would have most likely been swimming through the bogs that still showed signs of life.

Panty Pockets tripped over her walking pole and bent it on her wrist in frustration. Twizzle who steamed ahead to catch up with Bag O Bones alerted him to the fate of his carer and said, “She's a tough old bird and will make it round ok.” and carried on. Fortunately, the hare ended up carefully guiding Panty Pockets safely home! (Another snippet picked up by earwigging; Panty Pockets phone rang at 2am and she asked “Who’s that calling at this time?” Bag O Bones relied “I don’t know. If I knew that we wouldn’t need the bloody phone” Ed)

It was all downhill from here. Biggles was getting consistently annoyed with Prince, who kept sprinting past Zak and him at the rate of knots. Biggles, Barbarella and Zak ended up behind the youth of today (Prince, Lauri & Olivia) and decided not to tell them they had run past some arrows on the road clearly pointing in another direction. Once we felt like we had enough of a head start we did call out for them – although minutes later Prince shot past Biggles and some more words were muttered under his breath.

Penguin was first back (maybe), completing the trail in under 40 minutes – an outstanding achievement for someone nearing the 80’s mark, if not already there. He was last heard muttering about not enough flour as he shot of in the Ron chariot. Most likely off to the pub… you know, considering his cravings.

The 19:00 group caught up with Sergio towards the end of the uphill section who was taking a breather then recovered his stamina and along with Gemma and Twizzle hopped, skipped and jumped the hard-packed rocky road to the A93. Gemma lit up her afterburners and blew the lads away sprinting across the grass to be first back of the 19:00 starts – certainly an impressive finish Twizzle thought.

Bubble 2 decided to split up at the end, with Zak and Biggles decided it was the end of the trail, despite not haven’t seen flour for a while, agreed that it was straight down the road to the gate. Lauri, Olivia and Prince were convinced by Barbarella that they needed to turn around – as it turns out they were right and got an extra 100m in, which Barbs won’t let Zak live down.


Drillbit, despite a broken back, was making his way around with massive poles assisted by his carer Not Dot. Biggles, after enquiring if anyone had seen Not Dot, thought: “Oh, that's all right, I don't have to look for her then.” Trotted across the road, then got slapped by his conscience and reverted back to help her cross the A93. It would seem as though Drillbit & Not Dot enjoyed the trail so much they did it twice with that run time, making it back after several beers has been drunk in the parking lot.

Ballerina was strategically short cutting and kept appearing in front of Bag O Bones, Twizzle, and Gemma. Fortunately, Twizzle was saved the indignity of climbing uphill at the last check by meeting up with the hare, Fifi, and Ballerina while short cutting round the boggy bit.


JC whipped out his suitcase, squatted won, and began selling his wares – dishing out fancy FOOFAAH shirts to those who had responded to his final calls. There was displays of jealousy from those who did not order them – only £11.00 each an absolute steal. So, although it was noted by the Chief CO that there no sanitizing of hands when trying different sizes to get the perfect fit, it was forgiven considering the very low profit margins.

Red Strip and Pink Panther were spotted ogling the new runner "Martin" body shape as he changed into yet another perfect spotless Tee shirt. Which they later got a down for at the virtual Zoom Circle.

Skip ahead hours later to Zak down downing Makin’s pint at the Scot Skinners – for pleasure!!, as we were getting hoofed out due to closing time. Gemma was leaving her car after multiple whisky’s, and decided it be a good idea to finish Barbarella’s bottle that somehow ended up in Zak’s hand on the way back home. It was very fortunate we had that sustenance, as due to all the road closures, Barbs was struggling to navigate us home.

Furthermore, during the after-the-fact circle – first ‘Down Down’ (DD) would have been awarded to JC and Fifi who turned up a 10 minutes early! This broke a legend of about 30 years of being last across the ON ON line. Unfortunately, they forgot to join the call, or maybe they were worried about getting a DD on a School night. Maybe it will roll over to next week if the RA is short of material or reads this…


The first actual DD went to Mr. No Show, Aids, we know it’s important to water the garden, but an RA missing the Hash, REALY?! A DD would have been awarded to Bertarelli MM for potentially contaminating the FOOFAAH t-shirts, but it rebounded so Twizzle took it instead, followed by Drillbit for Broken Bones and last man home.


Panty Pockets had to chug, for falling, and now having a badly damaged knee – followed by another DD for Bag O Bones who left her mopping up the burst pipe flood water while he went to play with his big train set!


Twizzle was effectively gagged by Gusset and Aids, and GM had to deliver a well-deserved DD to Red Stripe and Icebreaker.


Those who ran:

Bag O Bones

Ballerina

Barbarella

Biggles

Bruce Frae Fochabers

CannaeBeArsed

Cinders

Cock Coach

Drillbit

FiFi

Fireflaps

Gemma

Gobfull

HIPPO

Icebreaker

JC

Laurie

Little Shit

Makin

Mrs T

Not Dot

Olivia

Panty Pockets

Pink Panther

Prince

Red Stripe

Sauerkraut

Sergio

Shaky

Sharnie

Splash N Dash

Struth

The Penguin

Threesome

Twizzle

Wee Willie

Wood Dick

Zak

1976 - Mon 07 Jun 2021 - Blackhall Forest - Hare: Ballarina - Scribe: Struth

AH3 Run 1976

Date: Monday 07 June 2021

Hare: Ballerina

Location: Blackhall Forest, Shooting Greens Carpark

AH3 run 1976 started at Shooting Greens car park on a lovely June evening – like the post lockdown trails – about time too!!

I rocked up to see Ballerina with his colourful spreadsheet, assiduously checking in arriving hashers. Before we could all get going, Little Shit and Sharnie headed off, to be first on the run. Ballerina kindly gave me his place in bubble 1 as he had the checklist, and then we were off!

Lovely trails through the woods saw my “pack” headed by Cannae Be Arsed, Fireflaps and Biggles, with Red Stripe, Ice Breaker and The Penguin following on, then Not Dot and me trying to keep up! The terrain was great hashing territory, climbing over branches and through the trees, trying to avoid falling over.

On into the trail, we caught up with Little Shit and Sharnie checking for flour, then Cinders joined us as a front runner from bubble 2 (SCB. Ed). Next we were with more from that group, including Glasgow and Sir Deadmund Hillary, who were happy with their shorter route.

We continued through the woods, then I was joined by JC, who gave me his update on the FooFah trails – he wasn’t bragging, but says he has several more up his sleeve for AH3 runs. Ballerina’s route was well marked, and he kept us on trail for a good hour and more. Apparently Bag O’ Bones and Underlay were so enjoying running, they left Panty Pockets and Roger Me Moore to make their own way round!

Word from the GM on the run was that Careless, ex AH3 hasher and now hashing with Rutland, and Threesome, back for the summer in Stonehaven, then heading off to Rio, were swapping stories on world hashing experiences!

JC kept me on the right track for the in trail, then we arrived back at Shooting Greens car park, being checked back in by Bin Liner. Lots more hashers finished trail, and there was a great buzz, as everyone (socially distanced of course) enjoyed catching up.

Despite the lack of a circle to give a down-down, everyone agreed they had a great run, thanks to Ballerina’s excellent trail.

PS – New hasher Gemma arrived in her bright blue mini at 8.10pm and took off on trail on her own. An hour later as we were looking to leave, new hasher Nev took off to look for her - only for her to have doubled back half way, and then returned on the out trail! Nev was duly phoned by Barbarella, and returned to be offered thanks from Gemma, who says she will turn up an hour earlier next time!

ON ON to Red Stripe’s run at Potarch next week!

Cheers Struth

Directions:

From Aberdeen Bridge of Dee, take the B9077 (Leggart Terrace) for 13.2 miles,

When you reach the B957, turn right and then left back onto B9077 for 2.4 miles to the Bridge of Feugh.

Turn left onto B974/B976 for 8 miles.

Turn right at Feughside Guesthouse onto Old Military Road for 1.2 miles.

Shooting Greens Carpark is on the right.

Google Maps: https://goo.gl/maps/WNLgtRq7H7KFSbQw9

What 3words: https://w3w.co/rents.shuttered.maddening

Trail Risk Assessment: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1p8xBCQAf5wLayqDikH90j8U7wm7sDuf_/view?usp=sharing

Those who ran:

Bag O Bones

Ballerina

Barbarella

Biggles

CannaeBeArsed

Careless

Cinders

Deadmund

Drillbit

FiFi

Fireflaps

Glasgow

HIPPO

Icebreaker

JC

karthik

Laurie

Little Shit

Nev

Not Dot

Olivia

Panty Pockets

Pigiron

Prince

Red Stripe

RMM

Sauerkraut

Sergio

Shaky

Sharnie

Struth

Suzi

The Penguin

Threesome

Twizzle

Underlay

Wee Willie


1975 - Mon 24 May 2021 - Kirkill Forest - Hare: Wee Willie - Scribe: Drillbit

Date: 24th May 2021

Run 1975 Kirkhill Forest

Date: Monday 24th May 2021

On On: Blairwoods

Hare: Wee Willie

Scribe: Twizzle on behalf of an injured Drillbit

A record 443 days since we last ran outside together as a pack. True to form the heavens opened gave the ground a good soaking, so plenty of shiggy on a cool cloudy and drizzly night. Perfect Hash weather it was. Covid Officers, New registration system, PPE requirements on trail, and bubbles for hashers what could possibly go wrong?

Pigiron decided he had a date night with Stainless, and Cinders had earlier reported an injury reducing the pack numbers to 26. Glasgow and Sir Deadman Hillary were away south somewhere in sunshine! But, as the runs are currently free it did not matter!

Our Hare, Wee Willie, was also the acting COVID officer, nominated Drillbit as the scribe to record this auspicious occasion, alas Drillbit’s memory is of short duration and little details were handed over to Twizzle standing in as back-up. Drillbit has strained a muscle in his neck, must have been all that searching for flour!

The sign out sheet did not have JC and Fifi who claimed they registered it must be a glitch after consultation with the Hare and Covid officers they were permitted to start in wave 2 after recording details of phone numbers and other pertinent info onto the tick sheet. Good job we recognised them, they must have at least 1900 or more runs between them now.

A pre-run discussion took place with the 1st bubble allowing them to start early as they were eager to get back before it really rained. Sub bubbles set off in pairs bit like the animals queuing up for entering Noah’s Ark, I hope it’s not going to rain that much for next 40 days!

The honour of virgin trail blazing went to Sauerkraut and The Penguin, so off they trotted to the first check. Now there was a translation barrier between the The Penguin’s Doric and Sauerkraut speaking through face mask with his Rhineland Palatinate dialect. While they were busy discussing who was checking lechft or Reyet, along came Drillbit and Pink Panther who broke the check straight away.

Drillbit’s efforts as an FRB soon came to an end as LS and Sharnie took the baton to break the next check. Drillbit’s pace declined and was soon left behind, calling in the woods. A dog complete with handler, answered his distress calls but she could not guide him so he struggled on solo breaking the cunning hares path. Ohhh for GPS guidance he prayed but a flat battery was all he had, so he trudged on.

Little Shit and Sharnie FRB time was soon ended by Hippo recovering his athletic gazelle springing style from slippery log to slimy stone without missing a stride, rumour is that Hippo was the 1st FRB home. However, as no one else was there he just left anyway.

Back at the ON ON, we now had three Covid officers Wee Willie, Twizzle, Ballerina, while Toy Boy Tom, Not Dot and Biggles were performing stretching exercises, not often seen on the hash. It was noticed that Biggles was sporting very new bright green trainers and insisted that were worn last year. Wee Willie set them off while the Bubble of Fire Flaps, Red Stripe, and Ice Breaker where also keen to go along with Barbarella. But where was Joanne. Wee Willie tried the contact phone number but there was no answer. Lost before the On On was a great start on getting her handle when we have a circle. But just as Wee Willie was ready to blow his whistle Joanne arrived, and the Harriets with Ice Breaker all set off completing bubble 2. No stories have emerged from their miss-adventures in the now darkening woods. But they all made it back ok.

Missing in action was Thrupenny Bits and Shit Boyfriend, again no response to Wee Willie phone message. Apparently, there is some story about flash flooding in Portlethen and having to stay and make sure the whisky was safe. Hmmmm. heard that one before.

Wee Willie confessed that when laying the trail a Triffid swept his varifocal glasses away so that’s why there is plenty of flour on his trail as he can’t see the trees at a distance clearly. The last of the COVID officers Bin Liner cycled over from Cults only took him 75 minutes not bad for a semi sesquicentennial. He did admit it seemed further than I thought. Underlay said he could give him a lift home as he had his bike rack on the Jag. But you’ve gotta do the Hash first! BL said that would be cheating and he didn’t need it. He managed to secure his bike to the smallest tree in the car park. I would describe it as a stick with leaves! About as good security as a chocolate toaster.

Now that Underlay and Roger-me-More has arrived, then Laura and then Olivia our new runner and finally Shaky. Twizzle attempts to leave the now soggy sign in sheet on Wee Willie car. But it’s got all the Telephone contact details on. Twizzle scratched out the numbers and the sheet further disintegrated within the plastic wallet. It was there for Little Shit to sign us back in anyway. Well it was gone by the time we got back and only about 5 cars left anyway. By now it’s over the 19.00 bubble start and near the 19.20 start so Laura, Olivia and Underlay set off, followed by Twizzle and Roger-me-More with the Ballerina, Binliner and Wee Willie sweeping the trail. Laura and Olivia soon left underlay behind and Twizzle caught him after he had gone downhill at the check missing the trail remember “Flour is your Friend” then Twizzle caught sight of Laura and Oliva and managed to get near but never quite keep up. Plenty of mud, slippery branches, hills puddles. It was great! Eventually we reached the monument and of course you had to climb up for a view in the clouds. Then off on trail again. The hare and Ballerina must have short cut a few sections. Binliner also managed to catch up briefly before I went into overdrive and nearly caught up Laura and Olivia. By this time I met up again with Ballerina and we both watched them go off trail into the mountain bike park. We called after them, but they were oblivious to the lack of flour and did not hear our pleading. Twizzle feeling remorseful on abandoning them, turned back to try and find them. But they were now no longer in the park and not on flour either. He the back tracked and completed the rest of the trail to fortunately find that they had short cut back to the car park and left already! Underlay, Binliner, Roger-me-More and Shaky now rolled up and along with Wee Willie, Red Stripe and Ice Breaker thawing in his car were at the On On., also including Struth who had returned and told us that everyone else had returned ok and now left. There were also some dodgy looking guys hanging about in a Van hopefully mountain bikers or doggie walkers.

Binliner by now was no longer protesting that he could cycle back and was really glad to be driven back to Bieldside. Although it is not recommended to car share, it was necessary to get him back he really looked cream crackered. I guess Underlay, Binliner, Roger-me-More wore masks in the car during the journey home. Shaky, now seemed to be taking orders for a large party from just eat something like a 48 piece bargain bucket and going large etc. I can’t believe the food would be very warm by the time he got back to Banchory! Hope he managed to pick it up ok.

A truly memorable 1st run of 2021 a total of 27 survived the trail, full praise for a well laid trail to Wee Willie the Hare (He never found his glasses, he needed a new pair anyway), thanks to my fellow Covid Officers and all the Hashers & Harriets in maintaining social distancing, and trying hard to observe the rules. Apologies, if I missed anyone from the scribe I hope the 7th of June Trail is as good!

Those who ran:

Ballerina

Barbarella

Biggles

Bin Liner

Drillbit

FiFi

Fireflaps

HIPPO

Icebreaker

JC

Joanne

Laurie

Little Shit

Not Dot

Olivia

Pink Panther

Red Stripe

RMM

Sauerkraut

Shaky

Sharnie

Struth

TBT

The Penguin

Twizzle

Underlay

Wee Willie