Scribes 1998

840 - Sun 27 Dec 1998 - Westburn Park (24) - Hares: Wild Local - Scribe: Struth '(no scribe)


839 - Sun 20 Dec 1998 - Countesswells Forest (48) - Hares: Tongue Lasher & Oneliner - Scribe: (no scribe)


838 - Sun 13 Dec 1998 - Norwood Hall Hotel (45) - Hares: White Trash & Big Mac - Scribe: Eightsome

Run No 838 – Hares White Trash & Big Mac

Pre run down down to Big Bev on her 250th run (congratulations) and it's on on through the usual assortment of burns braes, gorse, bushes and just for a bit of variety, a cess-pit of some sort in which some unfortunate individual lost one of his shoes muttering something about a game of soldiers(?) Joy Boy was found sitting down behind a bush having a wee rest using the old “I'll kid on I'm tying my shoe-laces” ploy.

Lots of checkpoints for hares to show off their uncanny sixth sense – running up a hill saying “I'll bet it's up this way» to the faint echoes on on-on from the opposite direction. One of the FRBs – a Jack Russell names Bess, seemed to be having the time of her life running around like a headless chicken sniffing the occasional crotch and stopping to relieve herself as and when she felt like it - it's amazing how quickly dogs adapt to their surroundings!

Late on, there was a traffic jam at a barbed wire fence where there was much deliberation over whether to cross the field in front. Joy Boy was heard to say "I seem to remember we got into a lot of trouble the last time for crossing that field”, which seemed to prompt everyone to immediately jump the fence and carry on their merry way. Tackled Little Shit en route for any gossip he might have for this week's scribble, but he still seemed preoccupied with his slowly dwindling stock of little little shits.

Plan B was Swampy - she's always good for a laugh- and sure enough she couldn't wait to reveal the previous night's escapades of her close friend Crag Mouse, who had been in Amadeus looking to find the trap she'd had on Friday night. Apparently she had success after an hour and a half (or was that for an hour and a half). Swampy herself insisted that she and the off-duty policeman she met were just good friends. (Apparently they were busy being just good friends until 4.30 am!!!)

Down downs as follows:

Hares: Big Mac & White Trash and also Mrs White Trash (even after those lovely chicken wings well, there's gratitude for you).

No Handle' Henry as it was his birthday.

'Hot Flush' for being South African-Race Relations Board take note.

Harry Scumbag' for passing the GM on the run - imagine!!

'Pig Pen' for embezzlement and having a bad haircut - both imprisonnable offences-shit-head award.

"Wimaway' for explaining to his son how to go down an embankment and then demonstrating how not to go down an embankment and ‘Hippo' for lack of 'flower?.

Hash shit to 'The Penguin' for his awesome prowess in chatting up some young lassie until she pointed out that his six-pack would be better described as a keg. Also, apparently for spilling wine in all sorts of inconvenient places,

Hash Shit went to Mr Two Dogs Fucking' AKA Richard McDonald-Firth who, on realising that people noticed the consummate ease and high degree of familiarity with which he slipped on the bra he was given, then tried to make amends by kidding on to the circle that he couldn't fasten it at the back Nallaig Cridheal agus Bliadhia Mhath ur

On on

Eightsome


837 - Sun 06 Dec 1998 - Crathes Castle (39) - Hares: Harley & Swampy - Scribe: Wimmaway

Run No.837

Sun 06 Dec 1998

Crathes Castle

The Long Cold Snow Run at Crathes

Hares Harley & Swampy

While in the heat of my bed, I heard a sound at my head Of a Northsound presenter-it filled me with dread.

It's four deep, five below and Banchory is not the place to go!'

The phone did ring, a damsel in distress Oh help me my Prince' she cried 'A fairweather hasher, he will not show

And now I'm terribly tubbied, I feel so low

'To my castle in Crathes' I bellowed

Eh! for there we'll find cheer in the mist of the masses

War chariot armed, so off we go, taking a bend at ten was not too slow

We arrive in fashion, five late, no more

For which our beloved GM did bestow, to me, the pen to throw

Oh where was my princess to rid me of this duty

She'd only gone and hid behind a booty!

Hare did warn of a trail forlorn

It may go here, it may go there, and you could end up anywhere

Follow the pink flour and you're on, and a word! - don't be too long.

Little Shit spied Hot Flush so warm,

So duly covered her in snow that looked like a swarm

To our leader I did protest of the pen and the duty

I asked him for credit he answered me nay

For you see its leaders like 'Penocket' that are born every day

The trail it would away and up, good checking meant no catch up

On to the sweeties of dog biscuit kind

And down through a corridor of white snow blind

And then it did happen, we came to a stop

A kindly wood elf appeared just back from hols

Bucket, no spade and smelling of, what I hope, was alcohol

From a secret pocket it did product

A book of directions to take us to the beer truth

Thought for a mo, a falsey you're followed, back to the sweeties

From there we turned right and stopped!!!!!

In the quiet of the forest - which way now was asked - honest

Still quiet, you would have thought it a Cinders to walk and not run, was murmered

A wise sage came to our aids, the lake's over there, so why not break?

A wee voice did add, I'm sure we put the beer in the lake

And so we vanished for the proverbial intake

Back on track and in the lead

I came to a check and had to relieve

My name I did start, but then a slight need, I ran out of pee, you see

The trodden snow of earlier had gone

Oh its good to be with a virgin even just the one!

We followed the trail up and close to the castle

From where it would round without any beer to be found

Oh what a rascal!, I made it to a check and no one did follow

And thought back to the on on or I'll have to swallow!

The pack did straggle in, until there was hardly any

And snowballs did fly, kids will be kids, but why so many!

Visitors and virgins or which there was four Linda and hubby, Daniel and Paul - Both of whom had an inability to drive

Julek and Batty, she's one hundred you know, showed us a ring which had a kinda glow

Sans O is a Tasmanian sheet rustler, as if we didn't know

Young Man has a hairy chest, but he's not willing to show

Lois likes the feel, we're all bound to reveal, as 'Scrottom Soother' she has appeal

To the hares a double downer, cold bums and all

For setting, losing, vanning and having a ball Black bras it seems are derigeur, but pink is my favourite, its got more fleur

And so is the end of our Sunday outing.

I wish you and your merry jousting

In this season of cheer and good will, let's not be selfish or wish ill

I hope Santa doesn't forget the present I've been craving 'Cos when I see him flying overhead it's from the rig I'll be waving

On on in poetry??? Young Man

STOP PRESS!!!!! STOP PRESS!!!!! STOP PRESS!!!!!

EDIT HARES (both of them) are off on the piss to tramp the sunny hills until Jan 2nd (party invites for after that date gratefully received!)

- Next week's sheet will cover the festive three weeks – Tough luck Scribes - you're on your own!! 30 - 40 copies of your masterpieces will be needed at the next run. Holiday from producing this heap of shit much needed!!

Contact Sheet – Dickie's lost his connection!

Pre-Christmas and Hangover Run - 20th December

Will be a VERY short run – long enough to work off the hangover and gossip from the Christmas Party, SCBs and Hash kids catered for, so be sure to be there, decorated for Christmas - anyone still in their posh frock or black tie will have to give reasons!! Loanhead Car Park, Black Tap Counteswells - Hares One Liner and Tongue Lasher A


836 - Sun 29 Nov 1998 - Kemnay Bowling Club (55) - Hares: JC & Fi Fi - Scribe: Hubcap

Run 836

Sun 29 Nov 1998

Kemnay

Hares JC & Fifi

The pack gathered in the car park with a touch of frost on the ground and the sun in the sky, "Could this really be an Aberdeen Hash run at the end of November?", Hashers were heard to ask!

The circle was called with no GM in sight, so having been volunteered to do it your scribe did some spectacularly ineffective shouting and some semblance of a blob/circle appeared. Six Virgins and Visitors were welcomed to the Hash (remember the number for later!).

The RA presented Struth with her 150th run sweat shirt and she was joined by Wild Local, who apparently should now be known as Nearly Dead and asked whether he is carrying his prick or not (!).

The GM eventually arrived citing sibling foot wear (wellies or trainers) as the reason for his tardiness - see kids are useful for some things after all. At this point I forgot the plot and didn't award the role of scribe to anyone, so hence why I'm doing it.

Well the run started with every man and his dog (even in the absence of a single pooch) claiming that they were responsible for the fine weather. Mutterings of using up the whole of Aberdeen's supply of virgin just for one run as being excessive! The Hares had warned us that it was longer than average, and it certainly turned out that way, even for the Walkie-Talkies! There were lots of long back checks which kept the FRB's busy. By the time we arrived at the beer check the common theme was that the Hares were being extraordinarily cunning and/or surprisingly fit! The beers and assorted chocolates were consumed with relish, but appeared to go straight to Swampy's head as she spent the whole check falling down the small grass bank and then climbing back up it! Young Man arrived late and hot and bothered - claimed he had got lost! I'm sure that we can think of a good reason for next week.

Milling around in the car park at the end the GM called the circle only to find that one RA was still missing, but we had Mega so he just shouted a bit louder and asserted his iron fist control. Very impressive. Mega decided that he wanted a respectful circle so handed out a down-down to the Count straight away for talking – there's a surprise. There was then a torrent of down-downs:

The Hares - good run.

Tongue Lasher - The cleptomaniac from Friday's party who went off with someone else's handbag with house, car and works keys in it!

Umpire – for trying to provide subtitles when Mega had a hiccup in his English.

Wim-a-Way and Swampy - for mud slinging, not a sin in itself, but they hit the RA!

C(O)unt - was awarded the soiled bra to wear on the next run – a sort of Cinderella activity to find out who it fits - 2AM knows, but isn't telling - yet.

Bungy Finger & Wild Local – for hanging around at the back of the pack and talking about Everest like a pair of smelly old sherpas.

Visitors and Virgins - only 4 out of the original 6, never did find out what happened to the other 2, but JC seemed reluctant to go and search for them! Strange that!

Hash shits went to JC and Little Shit. Trevor talked us through his vasectomy and looked for volunteers to help him clear up his remaining tadpoles - female volunteers only!

After all that the last 4 walkie-talkies came in, including Viv so she went straight into down-down mode and awarded four in one go:

Rob Nash was named "Nob Rash”!

I got hauled in for my engagement;

Carol one of the virgins was named “Big Breaths" as she didn't like the sound of here own heavy breathing whilst she was running! (She did later hint that there was more to it than that, but we'll look for volunteers to get to the bottom of that and report back later.

Bev was brought in to celebrate her pregnancy - at which point little Shit asked if she would mind helping him out now that she was pregnant already!

All the way from engagements through pregnancy, vasectomy to near death! There is after all life in the old Hash yet! After all that it was back to JC and Fifi's for some food beer and gossip well into the afternoon.

On-on

Hubcap


835 - Sun 22 Nov 1998 - Huntly, Joint run with Elgin (17) - Hares: 2am & Small Tripple - Scribe: Tonguelasher

AWAY RUN TO HUNTLY (SOME THOUGHT IT WAS KEITH!!)

Run number 835

Sun 22 Nov 1998

Hares : 2am & Small Triple

9.30 Sunday morning - Ugh - Megaphone juggling two cases of lager and Sergio only partly dressed, Tongue Lasher trying to hide the 'shit head' turd hat brought back from Oban and here is Little Shit in skimpy shorts - long time no see. The Rock It family appear and One liner with offspring.

Inverurie for the next pick up - JC & Fi Fi.

Little Shit's account of this de-nutting kept the conversation one sided for most of the journey - 36 ejaculations he must have to 'flush out the system' how's that for an excuse for a leg over – '10 years that will take' Silly Cow told him – would that be 10 Rocky Horror Shows??

Much beer scoofed and tales exchanged and here we are at Huntly with reception committee of Batty and Julek complete with camera to record the arrival!

Our train pulls away, but where are half of AH3 – Rock It? his brother? Jan? the children? (& four of them), One Liner? - not a sight of them - only the tail of the train as it disappears out of sight. "To the rescue' quoth Batty and All Because - car boots are emptied of rucksacks and beer and all sorts - To the rescue 2 comes Harley and cars are despatched to retrieve the enthusiastic travellers from Keith station. Obviously eager to get their money's worth from British Rail! (Do Aberdeen Considine know of this?

A partner missing Huntly station??). Perhaps avoiding future charges of the ankle biters, eh Struth?

The Elgin Hash arrive - 3 nay 4 members and a promise (or threat) that Terry is to arrive by train - White Trash and Penguin and our illustrious hares – 2am and Small Triple make up a merry throng as the circle is called on this fresh and pleasant Sunday morning in the wild wilderness of Huntly.

Pre run down down to

Tongue Lasher, her 50th run then on on over the bridge to the first check.

Rockit is off like a rocket and Little Shit is back on form - he dives into the bushes - for a pee?

No, only 35 to go along the river and across the golf course. As usual I lose sight of the front runners after 10 paces, but Checkin Chicken' Little Shit plays a stormer with the check markings.

Hash Kid Camille and I follow the flour past the hotel (how tempting to stop there) and on on. On up the lane along the picturesque Huntly countryside and through the forest to the Chocolate Check - Harley off in another direction altogether. No chocolate for him!!

At last the beer check but where is the beer - found at last, the usual refreshment slurped and on back along the long track to the hotel and the promise of lunch.

Down downs after lunch and they went to;

One Liner and Rock It for trying to get value for money on their family rail card and touring Scotland

The other couple escape me.

The 'shit-head' turd was to be awarded to Terry from Elgin, but 'Little Shit's account of “The Snip' won the day the "pee” stops calculated to be many along the way - Silly Cow - good news - only 12 to go!!

On back to the railway station with a display of fireworks on the way.

A pleasant and liquid journey home and on on to Megaphone's for carry out pizza - great day out - thanks hares

On on Tongue Lasher


834 - Sun 15 Nov 1998 - Ord of Tillyfurie (27) - Hares: Drillbit - Scribe: Swampy

Sunday 15 November 1998 - Tillyfermies

Hare: Drillbit

RA: Silver

Thanks to 'Rock-it, I'm your scribe, my dream come true - not! Oh! Well here goes.....

It seems as though everyone was deceived by the sunshine, especially ‘Hill-ary’, driving up in his BMW convertible without the roof up - poser!

Having waited far too long for more hashers to turn up we set off on an uphill struggle, well I for one was hungover, although some I think were still drunk, ‘Crag-mouse', 'Sergio' to name but two.

It wasn't long before we reached our first check. As per usual ‘Young man' being the athlete he is sprinted off and once again was wrong, but our faithful “Wotzoff got us back on trail. Then a well-earned 'crabbie'? Stop to warm us up, although virgin runner Lisa felt she was 'hot' enough, a cold shower for her I think! Ha!

On over a few more hills, with many hashers falling over. Why? Well I don't know, maybe they were - still drunk. Then to the beer stop where some kids, YES you 'Olymprick and Co, decided that it would be amusing to call 'timber' and knock a few trees down.

Homeward bound the carpark was then in our reach, well, for the majority. A small number of us Wotzoff who went from being first to the last runners............ finish..

All hashers commented on the run being great, well done to ‘Drilbit

Pre-run Down down: Went to 'Hill-ary' for turning up in his open-top convertible.

Down downs went to:

  • The virgin: Lisa who having received her down down was disappointed to be told by 'Silver that Young man was the only eligible bachelor under 30yrs.

  • The Hare: Drillbit who took far too long to down his down down...

  • Young man’: for ringing "Shag nasty' and asking him who his tailor was, he was advised by "Silver to buy some deodorant.

  • “Sergio': (The umpire?): for trying to push a door open, which said 'push' on it, only to be informed by his boss that 'push' meant press button to open door.

  • White Trash: for commenting at the beginning of the run "I know where we are”

  • 'Hash Shit went to; 'Wotzoff for being last on the run, after doing an extra detour with ‘Young man’.

On on

Swampy


833 - Sun 08 Nov 1998 - Kirkton of Duris (32) - Hares: Shaky - Scribe: SansO & Lois Noble

SUNDAY 8 NOVEMBER 1998 - KIRKTON OF DURRIS

HARES: SHAKY AND MRS SHAKY

Having only recently been defiled and coming with a virgin (it wasn't just the way I was ignorant I nod my head having no idea what he's on about - I'd only just figured out that the blobs of flour are not to mark the trail but to get you well and truly lost. My further enquiries then lead me to find out that the onerous task would have fallen to Sans O if he'd bothered to take time to shave.

Having completely missed the circle and 2 minute silence, which I'm told, was shattered

The justification for this undignified noise being "well I didn't do it deliberately - they all looked very stupid standing there.” We then set off.

Where to? Uphill, of course, then down a steep embankment into a very wet river. There was no stopping Drillbit, who reminiscing over his time in KL thought he might attract some more leeches, but this time place them more strategically. The rest of us followed The Body's example and waited for the On-On for fear of having to re-cross the river. Meanwhile Sans 0, The Penguin and Harley were wimping out and crossed over a bridge. Sans O decided that he would rejoin the toughies declaring he was again one of us, unfortunately the "How lovely it is to still have dry feet" blew his credibility. The Penguin and Harley thought they would try to outwit the rest of us by taking a short cut (See later).

Onwards we went to a very civilised Whisky/Crabbies and shortbread stop (the Hair of the Dog and breakfast), followed by a beer check and fashionable funky fruit flavoured colour co-ordinated softies (thanks for the bottles) then On-On to a 1-------- -0----------------1------------------g finish.

Down Downs went to:

  • Farmers wife because her husband left her.

  • Elaine, the virgin, colour co-ordinated with matching balloon.

  • Sonic, who ran behind two Harriettes staring at their lycra clad bottoms.

  • Meanwhile The Penguin and Harley finally returned from their short cut, bleeding profusely, wet, miserable and having missed all the fun. Shame!

  • Thruppennies took abuse for washing her trainers before the run. Had she known she could have washed them in the rivers she wouldn't have bothered?

  • Top tip for Harriettes: When your cooker is dirty tell him you need a new kitchen.

  • The Hare, Shaky, got one (what?) for a rubbish run and crap softies.

  • Hash Shits went to Young Man, who really wanted the other one (story of his life) and Drillbit, who doesn't need a new kitchen even though his washing machine doesn't work. He apparently wriggles around in the bath with his clothes on to wash them.

Moral of the tale: NEVER be the last to turn up.

Lois (with help? From Sans 0)

12-NOV-98 18:21

44 91224 861702

2


832 - Sun 01 Nov 1998 - Collieston (43) - Hares: Lone Ranger & Silver - Scribe: The Penguin

Sunday 01 November 1998 - Forvie National Nature Reserve

Hares : Lone Ranger, Silver

Pre Run Hot off the plane from Jakarta some 25 degrees centigrade warmer than Aberdeen I checked the webshite to find that this weeks run was to be about one mile offshore in the North Sea. On the assumption that someone else had fixed up some kind of boat to get us there I awaited my chauffeur White Trash who knew as much about the run location as I did and took me to Forvie Centre and an empty car park. We headed for the harbour to find the boat but found the pack bouncing about to keep warm. Visitors Carol, Gurham and Martin from Durban were introduced and a story told about Viv fancying a suave debonaire fancy costume on Friday evening until she realised that it contained the body of Michelin Man.

The Run The run set off not for a boat but along the coast heading south with a couple of checks one of which enabled the knitting section to get way in front to wait for the runners to ascend a cliff from the beach below. The next part of the trail sent the pack in all directions particularly White Trash who was last seen heading for Stonehaven. The sneaks who hung around the hare followed the short cut inland back towards the Forvie Centre for my second visit of the day and down to the road. Here great debate took place whilst 2 AM rain left, then right, then left, then?. “F--- this" said Olymprick heading towards the church accompanied by The Penguin “We'll take a run along the cliffs North and pick up the trail” which we did and stumbled upon the best beer check that we can remember in a long time totally protected from the weather and with a grand view and smell of the sea. It is a pity that less than half the pack ventured into this magnificent cave with drinks stashed about half a mile back into the bowels of the cliff. Well done Hares!

The Circle Scribes frost bitten fingers had no control over the iced up pen - (you can have it back next week Shaky) - which scribbled indecipherable notes in some unknown language. The only one of sense was Ball Tweaker who hugged her pussy to keep her fingers warm. Maybe scribe should have done the same. Viv showed Zero Tolerance towards talkers (rightly so) whilst Rock-It told us that the hash was poorer to the extent of £79 something plus VAT to compensate some farmer for losing a herd of Aberdeen Angus a couple of weeks back. (I thought Farmer was in Perth Oz?)

50 runs were achieved by Hilary still in fancy dress pretending to be from Baywatch (Bellamy would have been quite jealous) and

150 runs for One Liner who admitted to having paid 150 times without ever having to complete a run. Hopefully he'll eventually grow into his one size-fits-all sweatshirt. Apparently on Friday night 2 AM admitted to his fetish for Viv's magnificent bi.. designed by a well known firm of structural engineers. Richard Branson would have made it with that much material in his balloon. This must have been some party. Young Man's tight bum was approved in silky hot pants and Dicky Bird who turned up in normal clothes gradually donned the bits of fancy dress discarded by others as the evening wore on. One tired member was Cragmouse who having arrived home at 6.30 AM couldn't remember the name of the guy she'd been with. Swampy called her a trollop and then admitted to her own weekend in the City of Sin, Amsterdam with Megaphone. Olymprick was accused of bouncing some other young trollop on his knee or was he bouncing on the trollop's knee?

The Hashit award was a choice between the moaning faced Little Shit or the driving instructor One Liner who smashed into Sonic's car while reversing in the car park. One Liner (Fender Bender?) won but is looking for a good lawyer to defend his case.


831 - Sun 25 Oct 1998 - Blackhall Forest (27) - Hares: Rockit - Scribe: Scumbag


830 - Sun 18 Oct 1998 - Ghillies Lair, De Bridge (33) - Hares: Lifeboats & The Body - Scribe: Silver

Run Number 830 - Ghillie's Lair

Hares Lifeboats & The Body

After three weeks of married life it's nice to have a change of activity - Sunday morning hash.

Oh dear, I'm late, couldn't find the dog - so I'm scribe and don't know what the pre-run down down was – “What” say's Little Shit – “No pre-run down down” – "they've changed the format".

Lifeboats seem to be the GM, and off we go - Ball Tweaker and I reckon they'll do the loop so we do a good short cut to be met over the Brig O'Dee by Little Shit and Drillbit.

Joy Boy ties himself around the lamp post with the Joy Dog and seems to have words with the wife. The pack surprisingly seems to stay together as we go along the railway line (that is – was a railway line) whilst Scumbag tells us of his wild highland party.

Meanwhile Tonguelasher chases the Joydog in her look-alike t-shirt (Edit, Edit, Edit - Edithare) and the Pink Panther has disappeared with Aids and Smiler.

Up to Johnstone Gardens - very picturesque and back down more tarmac to the Joy's garage for cocktails. Yes – reminds me of my recent Caribbean trip.

Down down to Olymprick whose strip partner turned him down in KL. Enjoyed the sausage rolls but!!!!!!!! - did wonder what Joy Boy does with his wardrobe of boiler suits, and why is there a blue loo in the garage?

On back to the car park

Down downs to :

• Virgins: Colline, Rab (new trainers and Shitmouth (friend of ALCH's) is this man Hash

Material Alch??

JC: for strip joining in the act in KL (Stipping for 5,700 people)

Joy Boy: needs dog obedience owner's training

The Body: for saying Rab was shaggable at my (no Viv, it was John's too!! – Edithare) Wedding

• The Hares: The Body & Lifeboats

One Liner: For talking work on the Sabbath

• Hashshit: Drillbit for being a money grabbing bastard in KL

On On Silver (Yes please!!!!!)


829 - Sun 11 Oct 1998 - Drum Castle (43) - Hares: Monty & Bog Bonker - Scribe: ShagNasty

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run Number: # 829

Hares: Monty & Diane

Date: 11th October 1998

GM: Rockit

RA: Megaphone

Scribe: Shag Nasty

THE DRUM CASTLE STAMPEDE.

No nicey nice hand scripted scribe this week with pretty pics for those stupid bastards who cannot read. I am on my way back to Venezuela to get warm again. Turned up at Peterculter for the weekly run and was greeted by the most nauseous smell, Hash Drunk's skiddies maybe?? Not what I needed after a heavy night on the Real Ales.

We had to park in a shitty field and get our nice clean cars covered in agricultural manure. We were blessed by sunshine which made the running attire selection difficult as the run was in and out of the woods. Dress went from Little Shit in Tee shirt to Hippo in full mountain assault kit, complete with sprog in the haversack.

Harley griping on about who has and who hasn't paid the run fee.

Lifeboats looking very bloated from a late night Fish Supper in the middle of Justice Mill Lane.

Pre run Down Down went to Its All Because for being a Toyboy, or something or other.

On On was called and the eager pack raced after the flour.

We had been warned about clambering over 9 foot deer fencing and in all honesty didn't give a toss. I fell arse over tit as I never listened to the advice, so be warned in future!!!! My better half, Ann (Short Cut ?), was running around holding on to her third finger left hand not wanting to lose that expensive solitaire I had recently placed upon it; I had threatened to cut off her body bits previously if she did!!

After a while we came across the crazy stampeding cows running all over the cosy steading conversions with their highly manicured twee lawns. Rockit was trying to knock one household up but to no avail. White Trash was trying to close a gate after the herd had fled! There were a few signs that Aberdeen Hasher had been to Interhash with Tiger Feet proudly wearing an advert to the fact that he had survived the Ball Breaker, what do you mean??? Smiler & The Umpire were running around well checking out at most checks. The Body however gave a less than perfect performance, in fact words like lethargic spring to mind!! Would it have anything to do with the fact of watching daytime soaps, Richard and Judy, Rikki Lake et al during the day causes serious malfunctioning of the brain and the metabolism?? Pink Panther, Mrs T, Batty, and Cinders were omnipresent throughout the run looking eager as hell, three Weetabix this morning or was it just the excitement of being out in the fresh air?? Swampy was dumped into the swamps again, she loves getting dirty!!!

The Beer Check was in an idyllic setting by the side of a little lake (Scottish Loch). The sun was beating down and the air was silent apart from the hissing of the tinnies. Young Man was obviously affected by the ambience and decided to attempt to walk on the water. Michelin Man was looking ever so rough at this point, something about drink, women, beer, Hoagies, 3 am or all of the above! The tranquil setting was destroyed by the untimely arrival of Olymprick back from KL Interhash. Did anyone miss him???

Downs Downs went to Shag Nasty & a Dutch Looking Bird for child abuse. Some other Down Downs were given but I wasn't listening by now as I was freezing!! Hash Shit to Klingon for not providing the Hash Scribe yet again, Scribes be warned!!!

Still freezing our bits off we headed for The Ploughman, which was like a Darbie & Joan Club full of greedy old buggers stuffing their fat faces with meat and two veg.

ON ON

SHAG NASTY


828 - Sun 04 Oct 1998 - Feternear (37) - Hares: Michellin Man - Scribe: Wotzoff


827 - Sun 27 Sep 1998 - Comodore Hotel (33) - Hares: The Penguin - Scribe: Kingon


826 - Sun 20 Sep 1998 - Forest of Birse, Finzean, AGM (45) - Hares: Farmer, Harley & Wee Willy - Scribe: Rats & Shirley Valentine


825 - Mon 14 Sep 1998 - Loirston (62) - Hares: Cinders & Aids - Scribe: Becca


824 - Mon 07 Sep 1998 - Durris Forest (54) - Hares: Hubcap & Hot Flush - Scribe: Bellamy


823 - Mon 31 Aug 1998 - Kirkhill Forest (65) - Hares: Joy Boy & The Body - Scribe: Beep Beep


822 - Mon 24 Aug 1998 - Hill of 3 stones, Stonehaven (49) - Hares: One Liner & No Handle -Scribe: Fiona Gillan


821 - Mon 17 Aug 1998 - Milloch Hill, Strachen (49) - Hares: Little Shit - Scribe: Terry Tubby


820 - Mon 10 Aug 1998 - Banchory car Park (64) - Hares: Olymrick & Duane Simpson - Scribe: Orienteer


819 - Mon 03 Aug 1998 - Kirkhill Forest (64) - Hares: Megaphone & Terry Tubby - Scribe: Monty


818 - Mon 27 Jul 1998 - Slug Road, Hill of 3 Stanes (58) - Hares: Umpire & Tongue Lasher - Scribe: The Count Sanso


817 - Mon 20 Jul 1998 - Sunhoney Farm, Echt (52) - Hares: Little Shit - Scribe: Bladerunner


816 - Mon 13 Jul 1998 - Tillyfourie (35) - Hares: Hippo, Mrs T & Seagull - Scribe: Megaphone (no scribe)


815 - Mon 06 Jul 1998 - Cutter Wood, Strachan (68) - Hares: Drillbit - Scribe: Michellin Man (no scribe)


814 - Mon 29 Jun 1998 - Milltimber Farm ( 68) - Hares: SansO & Pink Panther - Scribe: Scumbag


813 - Mon 22 Jun 1998 - Seaton Park (56) - Hares: Tongue Lasher, Becca & Lifeboats - Scribe: Becca


812 - Mon 15 Jun 1998 - Allan Park, Cults (62) - Hares: Hill-Ary - Scribe: Shaky (no scribe)


811 - Mon 08 Jun 1998 - Scolty Hill (50) - Hares: Megaphone - Scribe: Denis D'arcy


810 - Mon 01 Jun 1998 - Bridge of Feugh (40) - Hares: Smiler & Youngman - Scribe: Hot Flush


809 - Mon 25 May 1998 - Inch Marlow (48) - Hares: Michelin Man & Goodyear Girl - Scribe: FiFi (no scribe)


808 - Mon 18 May 1998 - Persley, Bridge of Don (42) - Hares: Drillbit - Scribe: The Body '(no scribe)


807 - Mon 11 May 1998 - Foggieton Car Park (55) - Hares: Wee Willie & Rats - Scribe: Batty '(no scribe)


806 - Mon 04 May 1998 - Fetteresso Forest (51) - Hares: White Trash - Scribe: Lone Ranger


805 - Sun 26 Apr 1998 - Balmedie Beach Charity run - Hares: Little Shit, Cinders, Lifeboats & Silver - Scribe: Two Moons


804 - Sun 19 Apr 1998 - Aboyne (43) - Hares: Farmer & Harley - Scribe: Sergio


803 - Sun 12 Apr 1998 - Roantree Carpark, Pitcaple (36) - Hares: JC & Fi Fi - Scribe: White Trash


802 - Sun 05 Apr 1998 - Don View carpark (12) - Hares: Hippo & Mrs T - Scribe: Becca


801 - Sun 29 Mar 1998 - Stonehaven (28) - Hares: Sonic & Thrupenybits - Scribe: Cinders '(no scribe)


800a - Sun 22 Mar 1998 - Toby Inn, Bridge of Don - Hares: Harley & Theo Emgering - Scribe: Big Mac


800 - Sun 22 Mar 1998 - Nethybridge - Hares: Lone Ranger, Shaky & Aids - Scribe: Urine


799a - Sun 15 Mar 1998 - Somewhere in Aberdeen? - Hares: The Penguin - Scribe: Harley & Cinders


799 - Sun 15 Mar 1998 - Comrie, Jock Hash No 5 - Hares: Little Shit, Drillbit & Hubcap - Scribe: Myfe


798 - Sun 08 Mar 1998 - Portlethen Railway Station (38) - Hares: Pink Panther & The Body - Scribe: Hippo '(no scribe)


797 - Sun 01 Mar 1998 - Ferryhill Hotel (24) - Hares: Fat Bastard - Scribe: Megaphone (no scribe)



796 - Sun 22 Feb 1998 - Brockton, Raemoir (45) - Hares: Megaphone, Its All Because - Scribe: Klingon



795 - Sun 15 Feb 1998 - Blackhall Forest (34) - Hares: Shaky - Scribe: Silver '(no scribe)


794 - Sun 08 Feb 1998 - Hatton of Fintray (43) - Hares: Lone Ranger, Anne Schwarb - Scribe: The Lum


793 - Sun 01 Feb 1998 - Durris Forest (38) - Hares: Joy Boy - Scribe: Cinders '(no scribe)


792 - Sun 25 Jan 1998 - Hazlehead Park (48) - Hares: Tongue Lasher, Sergio - Scribe: Rats


791 - Sun 18 Jan 1998 - Kirkhill Forest (32) - Hares: Youngman, Bugee Finger, Two Moons - Scribe: Anne Schwarb


790 - Sun 11 Jan 1998 - Slug Road, Stonehaven (34) - Hares: Olymprick, Urine, John Greenwood - Scribe: Drunken Duncan


789 - Sun 04 Jan 1998 - Kirkhill Forest (39) - Hares: Lifeboats & Little Shit - Scribe: JC (no scribe)