Scribes 1994

619 - Sun 13 Nov 1994 - Dyce - Hare: Michelin Man - Scribe: Olymprick

Tales from Aberdeen H3 Run 619

Date: 13th November 1994

OnOn: Asda, Dyce

OnInn: Craighar Hotel

Hare: Michelin Man

My first mistake I made at the beginning of the run was to ask Olymprick to be RA for the day, and that's what it turned into; a day.

My second mistake at the beginning of the run was asking him to be scribe!

My third mistake was to call him twice during the last two weeks to ask where the scribe was.

My fourth mistake was getting up early before this week’s run to type this up.

My fifth mistake was in believing that hashers actually read the Hashsheet.

My sixth mistake was believing that all Hashers are good sorts and if you ask nicely they will do things for you.

My seventh mistake was not being able to remember what actually happened on the run two weeks ago.

My eighth mistake was to carry on typing and try and fill a page up with writing.

My nineth mistake was saying "fuck it"!!!!!

OnOn Little shit

Those who ran:

Trevor ANCELL Little Shit

Bev BROWN Brown Owl

Phil CARPENTER Party Animal

Ian CHAPMAN Shaky

Willie DUNBAR Wee Willie

Carol FOWLER

Sharon GASCOIGNE Sharnie

Alan GILLESPIE Sir

Sheena GILLESPIE Shirley Valentine

Margaret Jane GORDON M.J.

David HAY White Trash

Peng HAY

Mick HOPKINS 4 Pack

Ian JOY Joy Boy

John McINNES Michelin Man

Louise MITCHELL

Anne MURRAY Southern Comfort

Julie RATCLIFFE Dynamite Twin

Ronnie ROBB Wild Local

Howard ROPER Hippo

Theresa ROPER Mrs T

Roger RYLEY Sperm (Visitor Darwin CH3)

Ron STRACHAN The Penguin

Chris TAYLOR Crusty Loafer

Larence TAYLOR Lightsout

Peter TAYLOR

Greame THAIN Olymprick

Pei Li WANG Chinatown


609 - Mon 05 Sep 1994 - Duthie Park - Aids & Cinders - Scribe: Rock-it

Aberdeen #609

Monday 5th September 1994

Duthie Park

Hares: Cinders & Aids

My Early Memories by Rock-it

(Rock-it's 50th run)

My Run #1. It all seemed a bit confusing at the start but someone gave me a beer and everyone clapped and sang so I drank it. Then they all started running around in circles shouting all the time. It rained. I got wet feet and a lot of mud was thrown about. After the rain, it snowed and got really cold, but an hour and a half later it was agreed it had been a really good run.... bizarre??

My Run #2. Something was mentioned about flour spots and a cheque...no idea what that was about but ran for at least 1/2 a mile, then met some ramblers and their children who seemed to know the way back to the car park. The ramblers stayed to watch the beer drinking competition and came to the pub too so that was nice.

My Run #3. Spent most of the morning going round in circles with a runner whose name I forget, but who's initials are S.C.B. and who seemed certain where everyone was going......we got lost……..

My Run #4. There I was all on my own, minding my own business when someone ran up and shouted ARE YOU!! Into my face.......am I what???

My Run #5. Attended my first Hash party last night and was violently ill this morning. Someone gave me my kit back but I don't remember taking them off....!?

My Run #6 Saw my first blob of flour today!! Why can't I stop farting when I run??

My Run #11 Managed to run for more than twenty minutes without falling over....how do they run and talk at the same time?

My Run #15 I was called a shit and told to strip off despite the wind and rain.. Everyone shouted, Fat bastardand laughed at my underwear - why do I put up with this humiliation? I don't even like beer!! Don't think I'll come back.

My Run #16 (1week later) Got seriously smashed last night with the Hash, threw up and got laid by midnight - what a night!!! The RA gave me a don down for being caught running naked through the garden by a neighbour…..I suppose I deserved it.

My Run #23 Bought decent set of running shoes time. It rained, I got wet feet and a lot of mud and a cheap fleece to pour beer over. Caught was thrown about. After the rain, it snowed and laryngitis after drinking beer out of my new left got really cold but an hour and a half later it was shoe. Nobody told me not to run in new shoes….

My Run #29 Christened with my Hash name... I hate it so I'm not telling!!

My Run #32 Set my first trail with a seasoned hasher – now I know what all these blobs of flour mean! This run was really nasty with back checks and false trails everywhere... had the pack all over the place – brilliant.

My Run #37 Led the pack for a few minutes after all the FRB's got lost on a falsie.

My Run #38 I can now sing the down down song and shout “On On” knowing what it means.

My Run #43 Away day joint run. Mercilessly slagged a virgin hasher for turning up in a shell suit. Short cutted to the beer, given hash shit for groping during the run and got pissed on the bus home...a grand day out.

My Run #45 Covered in shiggy, got lost checking a falsie, knackered an ankle checking a long back check and cut my knee on barbed wire. The farmer was only a bit annoyed for scaring his cows but the On Inn made up for a bad mornings run.

My Run #47 Heckled the RA into giving me a down down by constantly talking in the circle.

My Run #48 “PHOAAAR!!! LOOK AT THE ARSE ON THAT..ON ON!!”

My Run #49 No idea what the fuck's going on... what's the quickest way to the beer...don't call me Short Cutting Bastard!!

My Run #50 Fifty Runs....is that all???

Those who ran:

Trevor ANCELL Little Shit

Adrian ATKINSON Aids

Rhona ATKINSON Cinders

Bruce BRICKNELL Pigpen

Julie BUCHAN The Orienteer

Jim CARR Big Jim

Ian CHAPMAN Shaky

Helen CLARKE Move On Down

Mark CRAWFORD Bouncer

Chris DOANE

Dick DREWNICKIE Sticky Willie

Willie DUNBAR Wee Willie

Martin ELDON Easylife

Maggie ELDON Royal Flush

Ian FEGEN Numbskull

Carol FOWLER

Sharon GASCOIGNE Sharnie

Margaret Jane GORDON M.J.

Les INNESS

Ginny LANE Doghair

Peter LANE

Shui LEE Shubidoo

Robin LEITH One Liner

Alistair McARTHUR Big Mac

John McINNES Michelin Man

Harry MILLER Scumbag

Anne MURRAY Southern Comfort

Gerry POTTER The Envoy

Alan RAMSDALE Sheep's Arse

Martin RICHMOND Sonic

Ron STRACHAN The Penguin

Greame THAIN Olymprick

Dianne BOWLER Batty

Brenda WALKER

Pei Li WANG Chinatown

Hank WILLEMSE Harley

David WILSON Rock-it

Joyce WYNESS Smiler


582 - Sun 06 Mar 1994- Nethybridge - Hare: Hash Cash - Scribe: unknown

THE HASH HORN

Recovery Run No. 582

Nethybridge

Sunday March 6, 1994

Hare - FallGuy

How dismal can Aberdeen female hashers get? Sunday morning at 10am saw poor Eric, Ahab, Allister etc. sitting in the Smithy amongst the wreckage of the night before groaning as Julie made too much noise washing up the mountain of dishes. Really, these harriets should be more considerate. It was quite amazing that these brave boys managed to turn out in the sunshine and fresh Nethybridge air for the recovery run. Rose turned out looking ready for a Harrods shopping spree 'Oh I can't run I have a headache'. Er.....What is this throbbing on my shoulders?

So, no messing about, straight into the nominations for the pre run down down.

· Mr. Bluey for wearing the most stupid hat ever seen in the known Universe,

· Allister for bowel venting in the circle and

· Shag Nasty for the worlds most boring card trick ever seen presented the evening before. Boy, I used to think Paul Daniels was a real prick until I saw that performance. Hushed silence, envelope opened by the beautiful Ms. Aids and, no surprise, it goes to Mr. Slight of Hand. He should have sawn his assistant in half, or better still himself.

On-on this way and, as one, the pack leapt off in quest of the beer check which was a bit silly really as it was at the Smithy. Never mind its the journey which counts and not the destination. Now, what with the fine weather, splendid scenery, fabulous terrain and beautiful harriets (trying to recover from paragraph 1 here) it would be hard for the hares to fuck up. You will be relieved to hear that they didn't. Well almost. After floundering through ice cold bog the entire pack was lost in the forest looking for a hint of flour. Hare to the rescue with the aid of his compass and all survived I am delighted to relate.

Back at the Smithy, beer and gluhwine flowing, it becomes apparent that a whole bunch of wimps never left base camp. Boy, standards really are slipping in this hash. The circle formed eager to receive its religious advice and correction. The do-fuck-all of the night before went to two of the said wimps. The first, yn, whinged, spat out half and threw the rest away. The young conservatives are recommended for her future socialising. The second, Yolanda, who had to stand in for the aforementioned Rose. Poor Yolanda, she had only just stated that she was glad she had sung (well squeaked) the night before and didn't have to have a down down. Then we had the prat with the hat, J cloth head or Mr. Bluey for the most absurd apparel ever seen on a hash. Immersion in a lavatory cistem for six months prescribed. Ahab for completing the run with a back pack filled with we know not what. He should have had it for his beautifully unrhyming 'Go hump a camel” verse in the previous evenings Bestialities Best Boys. Caused the entire song to collapse. Shit fer Brains received a surprise award for not g g tackle out for the entire weekend. This of course explains why so many harriets were in tears the evening before. Finally Royal Flush and Easy Life got one simply because there was no one else to accuse of illicit fornication etc. etc. Boy, this hash really scrapes the barrel.

Final score:

Eric's fireball +10

Eric abandoning Andy and Ahab +10

Plenty of flour +5

Same colour as snow -25

Hares use of compass -10

Great bonking +20

Total 10/10

Great weekend. Well done to all concerned.

Those who went:

Adrian ATKINSON Aids

Rhona ATKINSON Cinders

Fiona BICK Fifi

Dick BIRD Sergio

Rose BIRD

Julie BUCHAN The Orienteer

John CARTER JC

Alastair DICKSON Hash Drunk

Martin ELDON Easylife

Maggie ELDON Royal Flush

Dave FOREMAN 4 Skin

Alan GILLESPIE Sir

Sheena GILLESPIE Shirley Valentine

Andy JORDAN S.F.B. (Shit f' Brains)

Ruth LEITH Struth

Robin LEITH One Liner

Andrew MOWAT Fallguy

Karen MOWAT

Martin RICHMOND Sonic

Anne RICHMOND Thruppenny Bits

Kevin ROBSON Shag Nasty

Howard ROPER Hippo

Theresa ROPER Mrs T

Yolande SHAW

Ehab TADROUS The Pharaoh

Erik TORENVLIED Chip 'n Dale

David WILSON Rock-it

Jan WILSON


578 - Sun 06 Feb 1994 - Duthie Park - Hares: AIds, Cinders, Pink Panther - Scribe: Haymarket

Aberdeen H3

Run No 578

6 Feb 94

Duthies Park

Approximately 15 diehard (stupid) hashers assembled in Duthies Park car park anxiously waiting to start what promised to be a picturesque run around the park and surrounding area. However, the rain was wet, the roads were wet and we were wet even before we started! Still the run would not be that long after the run at the Jock Hash the week before would it? Even though I was not there I had heard certain horror stories whilst waiting for the run to start. The course had been set by Aids, Cinders, and Pink Panther (Mental Note for future excuse preparation) who informed us that the course had been set in two halves and would take 2 1/2 hours to run! Dave "Beaker" Graham (2nd run) was given the pre-run down down for looking the coldest, even though he is a sweaty sock by birth, Swwing lowwww saweet chaaariot etc etc (15 England - 14 Sweaties).

The trail consisted of one switch back and loop after another that made life for the walky talkies simple. The leading group or Magnificent Seven, which consisted of Myself, Beaker, Little Shit, Ron, Graham, Dave Foreskin and Shag Nasty, ended up running for a solid 1 1/2 hours whilst the rest made the occasional guest appearance at sheltered spots.

Dave Foreskin was looking particularly rough and Shag Nasty stank of garlic from the night before. I was privy to a fine display of tactical yakking by Dave Foreskin - simply stop, pretend to do your shoelace up and empty your stomach over the wall...well I think that was what he was doing the three times he stopped to do his laces up. Sheeps Ass was Checkin Chicken who did a sterling job appearing at the beer check from completely the wrong direction.

The run covered most of the roads and lanes listed in the Aberdeen A-Z. They all seemed to be drab and wet, even the flour looked grey. The beer check was only a mile or so from the end.

We stood in the rain drinking the tinnies not bothering to use the shelter afforded by a large bridge just yards from us. As Graham pointed out, it was a good job that there were no virgins on the run as it may have been their last!

The run-in was short and direct, which made a nice change from the rest of the run. There were no down downs or hashit awarded due to the risk of sunburn in the scorching midday/mid-afternoon sun... that is the last thing I remember before I passed out with sun stroke or was it hypothermia? But seriously folks the run was a long and devious one that showed me areas of Aberdeen that I may never have seen and the Ferry bridge pub was nice and warm, it was just a shame about the weather...still I am a softy Southerner.

SWING LOW SWEET CHARIOT, COMING FOR TO CARRY ME HOME.

Adam "Haymarket" Stevens

Those who ran:

Trevor ANCELL Little Shit

Adrian ATKINSON Aids

Rhona ATKINSON Cinders

Bev BROWN Brown Owl

Dave FOREMAN 4 Skin

Sharon GASCOIGNE Sharnie

Sheena GILLESPIE Shirley Valentine

Dave GRAHAM Beaker

Sarah INNES Pink Panther

Andy JORDAN S.F.B. (Shit f' Brains)

John McINNES Michelin Man

Andrew MOWAT Fallguy

Karen THOMSON

Alan RAMSDALE Sheep's Arse

Anne RICHMOND Thruppenny Bits

Kevin ROBSON Shag Nasty

Adam STEVENS Haymarket

Becky STEVENS Hot n Delicious

Ron STRACHAN The Penguin

Greame THAIN Olymprick

Erik TORENVLIED Chip 'n Dale


577- Sun 30 Jan 1994 - Harvieston Brewery, Dollar - Hare: Shit F'Brains - Scribe: unknown

THE HASH HORN

Aberdeen H3

Run No: 577

30th January, 1994.

"Jock Hash",

Harviestoun Brewery, Dollar.

Hashes represented: Aberdeen, Ass, Cairneyhill, Edinburgh, Elgin, Hamilton, TNT, Trossachs.

AH3 present: Maggie, Chris, Neil, Shag Nasty, Olympric, Little Shit, Julie, Sharnie, Drill Bit, ET, Foreskin, Hank, Hash Drunk, Gordon, Wee Willie, Sheila, Alan, Shit for Brains, and Hot & Delicious.

About 100 hashers assembled at the brewery for midday. Shit for brains gave the pre-run amble, immediately annoying a few hashers (Cairneyhill) and big dogs by refusing to let them (the dogs that is) on the run, worried about sheep shagging during the lambing season (should have told all the Jocks to stay at home!). Pack set off, minus shit for brains, to shouts from the farmer about all the vehicles that were blocking his track, only to be ignored.

First bit of the run involved crossing a waist deep river - Shit for brains should have known better! Hashers may be stupid, but not that stupid. The only non-wimps were all Aberdeen hashers - Little Shit, Sharnie, Shag Nasty, Foreskin, Hank etc. The wimps lead by Drill Bit, managed to cut out a massive loop including the crossing, only to then start to do the trail backwards, lead by Hamilton. The very nice hare (the one left to take the flack that is decided to point out the correct trail (only 'cause there was plenty more of it ahead), and some stability resumed. Only by now, there were a few casualties of the "let's follow Olympric because he doesn't have a f*** of a clue where he's going" type. Hence, Olympric, Adonis, Ross Hall, and co., spent the entire run up the wrong hill, missing beer, crabbies and all (does this remind anyone of last week's run?).

Run meandered on through lots and lots of trees, and shiggy, marsh, water, stream, river, drainage ditch, shiggy, marsh, water, stream, river, drainage ditch, shiggy, marsh...eventually reaching more marsh and an old railway track. The hare arrived at the crabbies check under a bridge to find a lot of baffled hashers (Hamilton did not realise that "crabbies" began with a "C"). The pack regrouped thanks to the crabbies, and then went on its way. At this point some of the pack decided to ignore a check, and go straight back to the brewery. The rest followed a stream under the road, and then up through several back gardens, much to the disgust of one local wifey and her daughter: "you can't come through here, this is a private drainage ditch!". When she confronted the hare as to who had organised this event, the hare suddenly turned into a mute, shrugging shoulders and all responsibility, and ran on leaving threats of convictions behind. The daughter asked Extra Testical why 100's of people were running though their drainage ditch, to which he tactfully replied "for the hell of it!".

From drainage ditch, across a rugby pitch, and around the outside of a golf course (fortunately there were no golfers to annoy). Then came the Munroe, and many exhausted bodies were only too relieved when out of the mist arouse Castle Campbell, and the beer check at last (in the toilets). Having already gone round the trail 3 times, and feeling absolutely knackered, the hare was immediately informed on arriving that they were setting the in trail. Off again, and running all the way through Dollar Glen (which for those who don't know is extremely bonny), and along the river back to the brewery, with the pack hard in pursuit, and just reaching home before the first caught up. The rest were still coming back after 2 1/2 hrs!!!

Down Downs:

RA 1 - Alan Miller (EH3) awarded these to

- a wee lad for doing something

- a Cairneyhill hasher for doing something else

- a Hamilton hasher for the ongoing sager in his love life (for those of you who missed a brilliant weekend in Oban, this fool was found in the telephone box at 2am (pished, of course) declaring his undying love for his sweetheart, and then proposed.) Sequel: they have split up as they had a disagreement. She said "let's save up and buy a house darling"; and he said "let's go and spend our money getting pished"

- The Brewer, for, as usual, showing us all how to do a down down - the hares, for setting such an excellent run

RA 2 - our very own Olympric, who awarded the Hashit awards to

- Alan Miller for wearing a cravat whilst he RA'ed

- Wee Willie for holding up the Aberdeen coach

And then it was on inn to as much beer as could be drank before 4.40pm when we finally got chucked out. The end to a perfect day - those of you who couldn't be arsed to get out of bed definitely missed out.