Scribes

Run Number 1460
Location Shooting Greens
Hare Twizzle
Scribe- Intensive Clare/ Streaker

Well it was a good day at work.  For once I managed to leave on time and get home to find slightly panicky messages from Olymprick on the phone about being on time and such like.  So I cut short on neighbours and go round to collect the pair, for whom I am hash taxi.  Unfortunately the pair of them were late.  That along with a closure on south Deeside road meant that we pulled into the car park late.  Therefore despite the fact that I have an exam in three weeks, that I have as much chance of passing as sleeping with Brad Pitt, it meant that I was doing my first scribe.

In the opening circle Trouser shredder was awarded the first down down due to the fact that she nearly forgot the crucial key swap on the Lairig ghru yesterday.  That would have been fun coming to the end of the 18 mile run and discovering that the lift to fish and chips was locked.  There was a strong chance that Aids and I would have lynched her.  We were then introduced to our hare, Twizzle, who explained the usual including a new concept which was a trail that went into the woods and tapered out.  Well glad I wasn't a FRB that would discover that.

The run started over down some very nasty ground.  I had worn my very fetching if I say so myself running skirt and therefore wasn't happy going over the nasty wood.  Well skirt or not never happy on that sort of ground.  Privet, in a magnificent purple running vest that showed off her bra error to best vantage, was left behind as well.   Instead of a nice sensible sports bra she had instead plumped for her cleavage enhancing Marks and Spencer's finest to the joy of the male members of the pack.  This made her cleavage look fantastic but wasn't so great for running down hills.  Ladies you know what I mean.

The nasty stuff finished and Privet and I tried to play catch up.  We climbed over a fence where there was fucking flour on the fence post.  And then spent the next 15 minutes wondering aimlessly around a field.  There was a very interesting sex show in the next field curtsey of some very randy cows.   At this point Privet and I were very hot and sweaty.  We decided to take off all our clothes and go for a swim in the nearby waterfall.  Did this happen?  Well if you want to know then don't leave us behind next time.  Bastards!

We find trail again and head up to some random monument.  We see hashers in the distance and ignore the check to follow them.  Somehow or other we catch up. I get into the role of scribe thinking of as many innuendos involving the horn as possible.    We finally meet up with Twizzle the hare.  His lovely wife is 27 weeks pregnant.  Do you know at that stage the foetus can hear and the grasp reflex is intact?  Oh wait! You don't care.  Its only lucky old me that gets to learn this shite.

We meet up with Thrupenny Bits and somehow or other the conversation leads onto breasts (can't think why).  In the midst of all this discussion on boob jobs, bra sizes and changing breast sizes we notice our GM in the distance rapidly heading away.   Poor delicate Tiger Feet was embarrassed by our chat.  Rather unusual for a male hasher but there you go.

We continue on downhill and are joined by Olymprick for once giving a good effort at the running.  We find a random B on the ground and get excited but no! The beer turns out to be further down the hill beside some river.  Not sure which one however one of the best views I have seen on a beer check.  Numbskull I think is half naked at this point but not a clue why.   

Nasty long walk up hill in the pissing rain to the cars.  Finally a delightful vision,  Silver boy (my car) energies in the distance very well parked if I do say so myself.  Poor wee soul is dwarfed by Norman Hunters beast of a car but holds his own.  And then onto the circle managed by Cannae be Arsed in his usual quiet style.

Down downs awarded to
Tiger feet twice.  Once for his ears burning with the breast chat and once for not educating the virgin hashers properly.
Muff diver- a distant relative of Penguins who is 65.  Happy birthday Penguin.
Gusset- for wearing new shoes.  Husband had to take that one as 27 week foetuses and beer drunk through a shoe don't mix.
Privet- for her magnificent bra error. 
Leaky Willie- who dropped his trousers and showed the circle his fetching boxer shorts.  Again not a clue why and most likely neither does he.
Red stripe- for turning up on a motorbike and missing her husband's birthday
Numbskull- for beer check misbehaving.
Tonto- for having to get rescued by the lifeboat.  His boat engine died and he had to get towed. Oh dear. 
Finally Twizzle for an excellent run.  Much fun was had by all and apologies if I missed anything.

On On