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Run 1369 Hunter’s Hill 26 October 2008-11-02
Hares: Trouser Shredder & Cannae Be Arsed
Scribe: Whinger
Thanks to an e-mail from the hare, AH3 put their clocks back and had an extra hour in bed before heading for Hunter’s Hill on a cool and windy but bright autumn morning.
Pre-run DDS went to Sergio for his new Goretex shoes and to Little Sh1t for 900 runs. This achievement was marked with a £25 voucher for the Running Shop to buy one left shoe doubled up by the Running Shop so look out for Little Sh1t wearing his two new left shoes. Leaky Willy was introduced as a visitor from Wales who it seems had the horror (sorry, honour) of meeting Olymprick at Cardiff Interhash 2004. Leaky has apparently spent the last 4 years searching for Olymprick to give him a Cardiff Interhash T-shirt and this was duly presented and writhed into by Olymprick.
Over to the hares, Trouser Shredder and Cannae Be Arsed for run info. AH3 have been on Fasque Estate only once before, when Farmer set an A to B run and really upset them by not asking. Rumour has it that guns were involved. This time Trouser Shredder contacted them, they were very helpful and OK’d the trail but warned there was a shooting party out so hashers wearing bright colours will either be safe or not. Runners were asked not to be noisy when approaching game birds to avoid startling them. Being noisy is reserved for beaters just before the birds get startled big time.
On-on and the pack headed off up the northern flank of Hunter’s Hill on what proved to be a longish run of 5 miles or so. TS was well pleased that it was much longer for the front runners who did all of the long back checks, including a hellish grind up Garrol Hill, being assured by TS “Yep, that way’s fine”.
Farmer being Farmer ran through an early back check and disappeared in the direction of “The King’s Deer Park” apparently convinced that the trail must lead to Clattering Brig. Whinger managed to locate a hidden trip wire for the rest of the hash, executing a dramatic full forward summersault with pike in the process.
The humbug stop provided welcome relief in the form of a guid sook then the going got boggy with wet feet for all except Sergio, who was also chuffed to achieve a dry first crossing of the Garoll Burn. The second crossing was more of a wade but I forgot to ask how Sergio how his Goretex linings performed under a foot of water.
Otherwise a fairly uneventful run or so it seemed as the pack gathered at the welcome beer check. But both Farmer and T Rex Cock haven’t been seen for a while, not like Farmer to be late at the beer – perhaps been run off the estate again at gunpoint? True to form he eventually he shows up from his Clattering Brig detour. There is still no sign of TRC as we head for the car park.
The circle proves to be quite lengthy and entertaining:
Acting RA is Little Sh1t. Sat Nav announces her birthday bash with a belly dancing theme, girls only, lady bouncer on the door. The circle wants to know what the qualifications are to be a lady bouncer! Sat Nav gives a suggestive belly dancing demo and gets a down down. Leeky Willy steps forward with a Dubai Hash story. Red Dress Run – beer stop – police sirens approaching. LW decides its best to ditch the red dress by stuffing it down his shorts. When police arrive he is semi-naked, drinking beer and appears to have a “large package”. LW and a few other Dubai hashers spend some time in back of police cars. Dubai police miss big opportunity by not checking adjacent On Inn as the host Rectum From Wrexham had no liquor licence!
LW then produces his Dubai red dress from down his shorts and presents it to Olymprick. It goes on “next to the skin”, not a pretty sight but it gets Olymprick an instant invite to Sat Nav’s belly dancing party. Olymprick is joined for his down down by Nae Knickers for her not knowing what an AGPU is. Whinger also gets a down down for his Trip of the Day.
Being from Wales, Leeky Willy is invited to sing and gives a rendition of a German hash song from Indonesia “Mitt my hands on myself”, ably accompanied by the AH3 choir. I did say this was lengthy circle – its been going for about an hour and there is still no sign of T Rex Cock. Someone seems to think it’s relevant that he was last seen with only one glove.
Back to circle business. Downs Downs to the hares with a special mention for the quality of the back checks. Little Sh1t gets a late down down for attempting to put his central heating clock back an hour when it apparently had a mind of its own. Hashers are by now sneaking off as this circle is never ending. Leeky Willie has found second wind and invites Harriets to play charades. Youthful harriets are rejected for chivalrous reasons that are now no doubt appreciated by Jonathan Ross & Russell Brand. More mature harriets Nae Nickers and ?? are coaxed to participate. They fail to guess a straight-forward charade – Film- 4 words, etc. - The King & I, preferring instead to shout a string of obscenities to a grateful Leeky Willy who gets the final (thank God) down down as The Entertainer.
Concern mounts for T Rex Cock - lost, a fall or worse, hypothermia (after all he only has one glove), mistaken for a deer, aliens? Trouser Shredder and others head off to cover the whole trail again while Nipples does it backwards. Scribe is later reliably informed that TRC was found by Nipples – on trail. They get back to the on-on around 2.30pm, i.e. a 3.5 hour hash run for TRC. This must be a record, but then records are made to be broken.
Whinger
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