AH3   Run 1270

Sun 10 Dec 2006

Scolty , Banchory

Hare ;- Whinger

Scribe ;- One Liner

 

 

 

Arriving at the circle marginally late , I was somewhat heartened to find a good many Hashers even more marginal then myself on the day , so no harm done then.  Until Watsoff presented me with the Hash  Horn , apparently just for bothering to exist. Could have been you then.   Count yourself thankful for a lucky escape.   Bonus issue with Horn was also Fluorescent  waistcoat.  I confess that it wasn`t until I took it off at the end and saw some felt-tip on the back that I realised that I was scribing as well as “horning”. 

 

So don`t expect this little epistle to bear much of a resemblance to what actually happened on the day.

 

Pre –run we were introduced to Soapy and Bubbles ( allegedly ,  although the suspicion – never confirmed  -  thereafter  was that the fairer of the two was in fact Soapy Bubbles and that the chunky one with the hiking boots had just married into the mob ). This intrepid pair had taken a day off from walking the entire perimeter of Britain to indulge in  a little less strenuous an outing with AH3.  If only they had checked in with Whinger beforehand … … …

 

Seems that when it took him 4 hours to set , the day before and he was interrupted in his task  only by the onset of nightfall ; even then the little lightbulb in his head (which let`s face it would have been useful while lost in the woods during the hours of darkness) didn`t go off to alert him to the fact that Paula Radcliffe wasn`t due to be attending run 1270.

 

Anyway , the clue was given and the scene was somewhat set  when the brave Whinger , perched atop his penny farthing , intoned that he wasn`t actually sure whether it was a long run or not .  4 hours to set ?  Bicycle required for weary legs next day ?  Aye right ,  Whinger !

 

The initial loop could easily have been discarded  in the interests of athletic economy , but since  the hare had taken the trouble to set it ,  it did seem kind of churlish to ignore it. At least it gave me the chance to hook up with the hardy coastal walkers for a while and hear all about  it.  Brave buggers , the pair of them !

 

Now bearing in mind that I hadn`t twigged to the scribing part of the Horn package until my legs had actually stopped moving , I don`t have many comments to make on the run itself. The One Liner brain was firmly stuck in neutral , as is the norm on most Hashes these days. Too much thinking during the working week  has to be offset by a wee rest at the weekends. Ask Paula about such training methods when she turns up at Whinger`s next Hash.

 

We nearly made it to the top – but not quite.  We nearly made it to another number of different Scolty locations – but not quite. For about 75 % of the run , most of us thought we  must just be about to  make it to the beer check – but not quite. A series of ingenious loops , switchbacks , falsies and the like  all served to keep us guessing big time . Well done Whinger.  I  wouldn`t want anyone to think I`m being critical of the run. I enjoyed it enormously. Especially since I haven`t made the Hash for ages. It was just tremendous for me  to be able to pack 4 runs into one.

 

And superb fun at the beer stop.  I hope someone captured on video  Nubskull`s hilarious attempts to recover his Stella from mid-air.

 

Back at the circle , those who made it on time were able to help themselves to some absolutely 1st class stovies courtesy of Olymprick – a man who for all his faults ( very few Graeme !) really knows the third quickest route to a Hasher`s heart.  For those of you who  now have a question , the answer is shagging and drinking , although not necessarily in that order. We all have our individual preferences after all.

 

Now you have to remember what I said at the beginning about resting my brain at the weekends.  That also applies to using pen and paper , so this brief reference to the down-downs is made with no particular reference to any form of accurate record. Quite the contrary in fact.

 

Beer was distributed to :

 

Sans O  twice.  Once for defecation in a woodland place which he hadn`t realised was less private  than he initially imagined. Haven`t a Scooby what the earlier ( or was it later ? ) one was for. Nearly shitting on the hare was worth two anyway.

 

Olymprick , for crashing a car equipped with 4 wheel drive and a perfectly good steering wheel and brakes. Allegedly .  According to the boffins at Subaru .

 

 Dutch Cap  ,  I think simply for daring to be Dutch instead of Danish (or something ).

 

Numbskull  for near as dammit denying the very existence of Cinders while sitting only inches from her. Well done Rhona.  A truly suberb reversal on what was beginning to sound like a pretty thin case against you anyway  ( this is just me  attempting to disguise the fact that I have no memory whatsoever as to what the case against you was supposed to be in the first place)

 

Penguin for bothering to turn up for  the 666th time. Nothing better to do , I suppose.

 

And  Whinger for  giving us real value for money.  Still only £2  a run ?  I think that could only be about  20p a mile last Sunday.

 

On  On

 

One Liner