Scribes 1985

HASH HISTORY – RUN NO 128

The clans gathered at Drum Castle for a re-enactment of MacBeth, courtesy of D. Robb esq & Co. The setting was perfect: dark rolling clouds, lashings of rain and it was bloody cold too! Only problem - where were the 3 hideous, revolting witches? Come back Joy Boy, Stomper and Mega, all is forgiven!

Hopefully though the R.A. and his notorious accomplices were off sacrificing virgins (again), a facet clearly forgotten weather-wise this time! But - is the R.A. turning wimp, he's still on 49 runs!

Initial down downs for the hares for forgetting to produce maps or telling anyone where the run was - Numbskull, you're spreading brain fever! Then off on a courtesy tour of Drum Castle - round and round, in and out, up and down. The local inhabitants were soon seen fleeing - was this the Jews bringing down the walls of Jericho again. Great, a sensible run lamented Gold Top as we returned to the cars, soon to weep as it was on-on, up up.

A large circular motion (No 69 said Pink Panther knowingly) brought the hash to total confusion. Back to the castle shouted some, to the cars others, into the bushes cried K.P., never to miss an opportunity. Following our intrepid heroine we disappeared into the murky depths - some never to return. Here, Liz Whig showed her acrobatics (and other things) by doing an arse over tit - the perfect target for a mud pat.

Out of the wood and down the leafy lane – “where's J.C. and Short-an” the Nash Hashers cried. A helping hand from the hare took the hash along and over the Aberdeen equivalent of Hadrians wall. T. Roper up front, fighting off stinging nettles and other women, to be affronted by Tortoise who had short cut to breach the wall first. “On on” shouted Tortoise, boldly supported by Tonto as we waded through the festering quagmire bog - and who said Joy Boy wasn't there.

Sharp right turn and up the farm road past a field of newly knackered bulls. Rumours abound, were the bulls enraged by Jedi-night's virile frame, had they turned gay or were they lured by Mandy (Zebadee's) perfume (well if it can turn on Stomper!). Anyway it was a sight similar to the SAS groping after Rentabrain's body as the herd burst through the fence ravishing and trampling all in sight. Gold Top was moaning - again, again - whilst hundreds saw K.P. six pack rounding up heifers saying you'll do, and you, and you, and....

The hash was tiring as it traversed the wood to find Monty having a nap, having skived the first 10 miles - or was he bonking we wonder! Led by our revitalised Monty and following Bunny's megaless rear (aaahh!!) we trooped on. Dusk had fallen - crash! - and thirst pangs were deepening. It all proved too much, another hill, another wood too far and I'm off, a quick left hander with Tortoise and Tonto to the cars for an early pint.

An error, a mistake, how foolish as the rest of the hash carried on to the pub for a preplanned tipple and a lift home! Oh for the errors of my ways. Still, not as daft as Short-on and Julia who actually ran back - the "brainless Duo".

On-on to the Irvine Arms who’s Sherpa acting as stand-in R.A. looked precariously balanced on a stool (not the hashshit kind you fools!). The Irvine staff, next to the skin and looking like the Aberdeen tattoo club were down downed and awarded t-shirts for being hash supporters. Here, someone mentioned that the hash were like freemasons without brains, another educated hooligans - what a paradox or parapox (a hash form of normal pox).

Those who ran:

Rick ALLAN Sherper

Stella BOYLES

John CARTER JC

Paul CULPIN Retard

Anne CURLEY

Jerry DAWSON

Liz DUNCAN

George EASTON

Ian FEGEN Numbskull

David FERGUSON Fergie

Valerie FERGUSON

Ian FORBES Flippy

Julia FYFE Bannana

Merry GIBSON

Pauline HOTSLAG

Kevin HUDSON

Sarah INNES Pink Panther

Ian MONTEITH Monty

Karen POLSON

Cees De REGT

Margaret REID

Anne SANSOM Delilah

Dave ROBB Dad Dad

Fiona ROBB

Jeanette ROBB

Ronnie ROBB Wild Local

Selwyn ROBERTS Rent-a-Brain

Gordon ROBINSON

Rona SIMPSON

Alison SMITH Big Al

Angela SMITH

Mick STUMP Stumpy

Mark THOMPSON Tortoise

Phil TOWNSEND Tonto

Derek TURNER Casual

Alan WATKINS

Barbara WATKINS

Mandy WOOD Ball Tweaker

ABERDEEN*HASH*HOUSE*HARRIERS

G.M. Selwyn Roberts

R.A. Ian Joy

J.Ms. Phil Townsend

on. Sec: Ronnie Robb

Head Hare: Dave Wood

Hash Cash: Chris Weston

HASHEET NO 126

DUKE' ROBB IN CATTLE SPOOK AT DRUM

RECEDING HARELINE

129 The Wild Local & Kevin 9th Sept

130 Simple Simon & Ann Yarwood 16th Sept

131 Bente Hardman & Tortoise23rd Sept

132 HASHLAND GAMES

Rentabrain, Angela & Graham Henley 29th Sept

133 Karen Polson, Artois & Janet 6th Oct

134 VOLUNTEERS PLEASE 13th Oct

135 Bhopal & A.N. Other 20th Oct

136 VOLUNTEERS PLEASE 27th Oct

137 Tonto & A.N. Other (AGM) 3rd Nov

138 Stomper & A.N. Other 10th Nov

Parish Notices

Interhash 86. This mega binge is being held at Pataya Beach in Bangkok during April 1986, and details of this are still available from your onnalble On Sec Ronnie. If you want to see how Interhash 84 in Sydney Australia went, he also has a 'post thrash' book and photos of the event.

R.A.'s Position News abounds that your R.A. is so frightened of what's in store for his 50th run that he has fled the beach and become the 4th leg of an off shore platform(in his high heels of course).

Head Hares Notes "Weel Jock there wiz a helleva stramash up i hill last nicht a hear".

"Aye, there wiz a muckle steer a folk steering steer inta anither park".

So the rumours went in the Irvine Arms last week. The rumours refer to the fact that our hash spooked some cows into breaching the fence of their field, breaking down another and trampling a large patch of tatties and carrots into oblivion. The ensuing peace talks involved the owners of both fields, a road owner, the National Trust area rep., the National Trust Ranger and our illustrious John Wayne II - 'Duke' Robb. The result of all this is a £90.00 bill to cover vet's fees, fence repairs and vegetable replacement. No vendetta exists and amazingly we are all welcome back. It may have something to do with the fact that we collected £14.70 in donations for the National Trust (£5.00 of which was donated by the manager of the Irvine Arms).

The moral of the story is simple - do not set runs without first consulting the Head Hare or without listening to his advice. That's what he exists for. It took years to nurture him from one of those tomato grow bags to his present size. It would be a shame to waste him to that great compost heap in the skye.

Wild localess was downed for not showing her white bits and Bruce (no-poofters screw-me-a-wallabee-non-aussie-hasher) down in one for talking shop. Probably discussing the relative merits of kanga versus duck-billed-platapus,

Twix II tipped an orange over her head for carrying a Twix bar round on the run, just in case of hypothermia she said. Who incidentally was done for wearing new shoes? Fool - will he never learn?

Finally, hash shit to Monty for bonking in the ditch, turning up late etc. Well deserved. Much frivolity followed with singing and hash Russian Roullette. Many thanks to the hares and Irvine Arms for a grand evening.

On-On

Short-an-Stumpy.

Those that ran:

Steve ADAMS

Andy BARTLET

Stella BOYLES

Bruce BRICKNELL Pigpen

Dave BRINDLE

Bev BROWN Brown Owl

Eric BROWN Catweazle

John CARTER JC

Jim CRIPPS

Anne CURLEY

Liz DUNCAN

John EASTON Lone Ranger

Ian FEGEN Numbskull

David FERGUSON Fergie

Valerie FERGUSON

Ian FORBES Flippy

Julia FYFE Bannana

Berte HARDMAN

Hans HARINGA

Kevin HUDSON

Dale HUXTABLE

Sarah INNES Pink Panther

Diane SMITH Gold Top

Brenda MOORE

Paul MOORE

Carol BURTT

Karen POLSON

Simon PRESTON

Paul RATCLIFFE Rats

Cees De REGT

Ada MULDER

Dave ROBB Dad Dad

Selwyn ROBERTS Rent-a-Brain

Gordon ROBINSON

Theresa ROPER Mrs T

Michael RUGGiER The Count Sans 'O'

Alison SMITH Big Al

Angela SMITH

Sandra SMITH

Mick STUMP

Mark THOMPSON Tortoise

Richard THOMPSON Stomper

Phil TOWNSEND Tonto

Derek TURNER Casual

Vanessa KING

Alan WATKINS

Barbara WATKINS

Anne WILLIAMS Hash Junky

Wytske WINTER

Dave WOOD Splinter

ABERDEEN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

MINUTES OF COMMITTEE MEETING 13/8/85.

In attendance: Bev Brown GM

Selwyn Roberts JM

Dave Wood Head Hare

Ronnie Robb On Sec

Ian Joy R.A

Phil Townsend J.M.

Howard Roper Hash Beer

Dave Ferguson

Karen Poulson

Ian Fegen

.

Apologies for absence: Chris Weston Hash Cash

Item

1. The Minutes of the last meeting were not produced and nobody cared less anyway, so everybody seconded nothing.

2. Matters arising - At this point Bev announced that she did not have an erection on matters arising!

a) T-shirts - Hash T-shirts for those hot summer evenings will be on sale in 2 weeks’ time, price £3.00 so grab one while it's still hot and wear it during winter e.g. August 85. Hashland games commemorative t-shirts will also be on sale during the games. The design was unanimously approved and our thanks go to Nicki McHarg for another brilliant design. It is likely that sponsorship will be forthcoming and this is good news as this will keep the cost down. More 100th runs t-shirts are also on order for delivery to those who paid and did not get, including our Hash typist and the queer Gerry sponsor. Joy Boy suggested that the Hashland games t-shirts would be vests as this would show more of the tit. The remainder of the committee, being unsexist, unanimously approved. Fergie also said he could sell them at cut down bargain prices in yellow packs without sell-by dates. Phil then arrived and said he saw Fuckall at Rockhall.

3. Mugs versus certificates - the item refers to the intention of presenting worthy hashers with presentation mugs upon their departure from the Aberdeen Hash. Problems with this abound namely;

a supply is slow and dying(literally) with attacks of lethargy followed by death frequently

b They are expensive but very good value for money (£10 each).

c The mugs when received are fragile in Selwyn's hands.

d Basically 'the Stoke connection stinks'.

At this point Ian Fegen walked in and said Yes at the right times to the wrong questions and Hey Presto we have one individual assigned to find a local supplier of presentation mugs. However, this request goes out to anyone in the hash who knows of a local supplier of pottery mugs to let Ian or any committee member know now. Some discussion was had about issuing pre-printed fancy certificates as an addition to, not instead of, the mugs. The point being that at least we would be able to issue something to people when they leave no matter how short the notice given. The idea didn't have much supporters, so it was dropped. Phil farted at 8.45pm.

4. Hashland Games - Now to be held on September 29th (Sunday 10.30) after a hurried phone call to the Thainstone House Hotel. The date was changed so that it would not clash with the holiday week-end or the Aberdeen Marathon. The games will follow the bar-b-que and t-shirt sale and the nature of the games will not be announced until the day, however a down-down championship and a wibbly wobbly race are sure to feature. Elgin H3 will be invited.

5 Other Matters Arising . Insurance: This John and Chris are to check our validity and cover for insurance and to make sure the premium has been paid for 85/86.

6. The appointment of replacement Joint Masters will not be made until the A.G.M. which has been made for the 3rd November. Make it a date!

MISCELLANEOUS

a) Ian does not work at the Shell pipe yard.

b) Ronnie has to buy 'fins' not flippers for the Hashland Games.

c) Bev confirmed J.C.'s manhood.

d) Chris was lumbered with having to buy a two ring gas stove and propane cylinder for the winter runs.

e) Howard has to get the 'winter wine' on

f) Joy Boy was talked about and generally abused after he left. The meeting closed at 10.00pm and we all went to the pub. Karen Polsen said she would buy all the committee a round at the next meeting.

Run 121

Mon 15 Jul 1985

Bridge of Bennie (74)

Hares: Hippo & Mrs T

Scribe:

Even Monday's weather helped fool many into thinking "What a lovely evening to attend Run 121 at Bridge of Bennie for a gentle jog with the AH!". WRONG!!

The largish turnout soon discovered that it was to be another typical summer's evening - WET! The trail, tho' it started off easy enough, with plenty enthusiasm and shouting, soon turned into a full scale assault course, complete with two rock faces, tackled easily by Sherpa and his followers and avoided by us mere mortals (Methinks the hares must've decided our bodies hadn't been scratched and bruised enough over the weekend).

After a couple of checks something triggered off the starter button in Wild Local's brain and he informed me I was scribe. He'd already told me 24 hours earlier, but just so he would remember, he marked me - with a "dod" of mud.

Fergie appeared at this point muttering something about taking a corner too fast and sliding into a mud pool, just asking to be slowed down next week?

Into the dark depths of the wood and Stomper took advantage of his crouched position to partake in some "bum-biting" and was overheard enquiring into the whereabouts of Flasher, his hopes building when he discovered he was working, but not even the Hash Junkie would be that "dopey". ("Dopey" - get it??) Oh well, on, on and a rather disappointed Brown Owl confided that she'd deliberately gotten lost in the woods but had had to come out when no "knight in shining armour" had come to her rescue. Aw!! Where were you Grunt?

At this point, it became apparent we'd gone wrong somewhere, - with the sound of the horn in our ears and all those ploughed fields and dykes we'd obviously been following the Banchory Foxhunt!! The ever gallant Mega came forward to fling himself over the barbed wire to allow us ladies to clamber over in safety but was rather overzealous and ended up flinging himself right over into a heap! It then became rather obvious that the hares were "gunning" for someone, 20 snares would surely stop even the fastest FRBs and certainly scared off all potential SCBs.

Round the corner and last week's bog monster rose from the mud, although' Dave Robb and Ian Williamson were too busy with one another to seek out any virgins!! Lots of very wet bog finally cancelled out anyone's chances of remaining remotely clean or dry! The last check caused some confusion over the W - was it a woman only! No it was a wine check", which most seemed to have passed by, not believing the substance in the plastic bottle to be vino but the RESULT of all the previous beer checks.

Back at the Irvine Arms (AGAIN) and an International Women's Drinking Competition saw Yoland from Malaysia beating off competition from such exotic places as Australia, Norway, Holland, England and even Aboyne. (An earlier competition was held near the Hash Dray by two younger "ladies" as to who could finish the cider before dad saw!!)

Those who ran:

Rick ALLAN Sherper

Garah ALLISION

Ian BOYLES

Bev BROWN Brown Owl

John CARTER JC

Eileen CAVIN

Alison CHERMATZ

Jim CRIPPS

Liz DUNCAN

George EASTON

Ian FEGEN Numbskull

David FERGUSON Fergie

Valerie FERGUSON

Merry GIBSON

Alastair GRANT Spankie

Ross HALL Running Sore

Berte HARDMAN

Theresa HOBBS

Kevin HUDSON

Dale HUXTABLE

Sarah INNES Pink Panther

Robbie JOHANNESSEN

Sonja JOHANNESSEN

Gunther KLEINADER

Nicky McHARG Starving Artist

Ian MONTEITH Monty

Roger MONTEITH

Simon NORTHCOTT

Karen POLSON

Simon PRESTON

Paul RATCLIFFE Rats

Ada MULDER

Allison ROBB

Dave ROBB Dad Dad

Fiona ROBB

Jeanette ROBB

Mary ROBB

Ronnie ROBB Wild Local

Howard ROPER Hippo

Theresa ROPER Mrs T

Simon SHAW

Yolande SHAW

Brian SIMPSON

Rona SIMPSON

Alison SMITH Big Al

Angela SMITH

Ken STEPHEN

Alan STIRLING

Neil STRACHAN

Richard THOMPSON Stomper

Phil TOWNSEND Tonto

Barbara WATKINS

Chris WESTON Mega

Anne WILLIAMS Hash Junky

Ian WILLIAMSON

Dave WOOD Splinter

Mandy WOOD Ball Tweaker

Anna ZURC

HASHPEDITION TO GLENCOE 13/14th July

HERE WE GO AGAIN! STOMPER LEAPS OFF THE CHOPPER, I MEAN HELICOPTER, COLLECTS HIS RUST HEAP FROM ABERDEEN 'RIP-OFF' MOTORS AND RENDEZVOUS AT THE ALBYN WITH THE MINI BUS. MAIS, NON, RIEN DE BUS! SO HALF AN HOUR AND A QUICK PINT LATER, TWAS OFF TO THE WEST COAST.

LITTLE DID WE KNOW IT, BUT AS WE HURTLED THROUGH SODDED FORFAR, WE WERE SPOTTED BY THE PRESTON, SIMON NO LESS, RETURNING FROM A LESS THAN SUCCESSFUL TRIP TO ARRAN WITH LOVED ONE. IT PISSED DOWN SO MUCH, THEY SPENT ALL THE TIME MAKING BABIES. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME, DOG BREATH!

JUST AFTER 10 SAW ALL OF US ARRIVE AT THE KINGSHOUSE GLENCOE. THERE WAS TWIX AND HER EXERCISE MACHINE AND DRIVER, TONTO. THERESA HAD ZILCH FUEL LEFT IN HER BEAST WHEN SHE AND WACKY COASTED IN THE MINI BUS CONTAINED NO-ONE OF MAJOR IMPORTANCE EXCEPT KAREN THE EMPEROR' POULSON (SEE LATER TEXT), SHERPA ALLEN, STIFFORD CRAPPS, DAVE BRINDELL AND LADY-FRIEND, THERESA AND LOONY WILLIAMSON. THE INCREDIBLY UTTERLY UNIMPORTANT WILD LOCAL ATTEMPTED TO DRIVE PRETTY SOON, OTHER FOLKS OF GOOD CHEER TURNED UP AND ONE OR THREE PINTS WERE SUNK. AS WE EXITED THE JOINT AT THE EIGHT BELLS - GIVE OR TAKE A CHIME - A GREEN MEAN-MACHINE HONDERED PAST, THE WHOOPING SLURPS OF THE FUEL-FEED IDENTIFYING IT AS MEGA'S RANGE RONA. RONA'S BRO BRIAN WAS THE HELPLESS PASSENGER. INTO THE CAMPSITE WITH JOYBOY DRIVING EVERY WHERE, MISSING ALL THE TENTS. WHAT DO YOU KNOW? BEV AND JC WERE ALREADY HERE, AS WAS THAT GIFTED WEAPON, WIELDER 'FLASHER' MOWAT. NOT SUPPRISINGLY HE WAS ACCOMPANIED BY A FAIR OLD POSSEE OF WOMEN - HARSH JUNKIE, LIZ THE WHIZZ AND SAINT FRANCES, A 'FRESH FACE TO MOST OF US. UNFORTUNATELY, THE DEMON DRINK HAD DONE ITS WORK AND QUIET AS WE WERE NOT, INDEED A KIWI - FAMILY NEXT DOOR TOOK THEIR GRIEVENCES TO THE MANAGER OF THE CAMPSITE, WHO CAME DOWN TO SEE US. HE WAS SO WELL OILED, HE FINISHED UP APLOLGISING TO US!!!

NEXT MORNING SAW 14 OF US TRUNDLE INTO THE MAMORES LEAVING THERESA AND MONTY TO DRIVE AND OTHERS TO SAIL. THE WEATHER WAS JUST WHAT JOYBOY ORDERED - I KNOW, I KNOW, HARD TO BELIEVE.

AFTER A BIT OF A SLOG UP THE FIRST LITTLE PEAK NAMED AFTER SOME OBSCURE GAELIC SLUG- GATHERING TRIBE, JC, TWIX AND MYSELF TROTTED UP THE TOP TO FIND DONNY HAY, HI-TEC AND THE MOUNTING GOAT ALISTAIR JUST SITTING ON THE TOP WAITING (WHAT A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES!) A COUPLE OF MUNROES LATER IN THE BAKING SUN AND JC WAS STRUGGLING BADLY – HIS FOOD WAS BEING CARRIED BY THE OTHER CROWD AHEAD. FRUIT LEFT ON THE TRAIL WAS CONSUMED BY THE STARVING ALISTAIR. POOR OLD JC NEVER COMPLAINED WHICH WAS A PITY AS I WAS CARRYING HALF OF FINEFARE RIGHT NEXT TO HIM.

JOYBOY MUST HAVE BEEN SNORTING MUSHROOMS COZ HIZ LITTLE LEGS WERE TIRELESS. KAREN 'THE EMPEROR' WAS BUBBLING ALONG CASUALLY MENTIONING THAT SHE 'HOT FOR MEN', QUEUE HERE, STUDS. A QUICK TROT TO THE VAN, WELL - 7 MILES OF JUNGLE - SAW US TIRED BUT IN GOOD FORM FOR A DAMP PINT AT THE ANTLER' - ONLY THE MOST POPULAR PUB IN KINLOCHLEVEN, ... THE ONLY PUB IN KINLOCHLEVEN. THE BBQ STARTED AT 08:00 SO WE ARRIVED BACK AT 07:59 TO GIVE US PLENTY TIME TO GET CLEANED UP AND CHANGE OUR CLOTHES (1).

“MANY OTHER FOLKS HAD SOARED IN - SPLINTER AND POODLE; SPINNER AND HER MATE JANE; MAD MIKE, and PETE WEST AND ASSORTED ONE CELLS, WIMP THE GEORGEOUS BMW, HOWARD ROPER, HAVING JUST WALKED FROM GLASGOW. AFTER A BIT OF TAME FIRE-RAISING, THE ARSE-ON FLASHER, AIDED BY MEGA GOT THE BBQ GOING AND WE WERE OFF, SEVERAL BURGERS AND BEERS LATER, KAREN POULSON LOBBED HALF A BOTTLE OF BROWN SAUCE AT ME AND RECEIVED A HANDFULL OF PICKLE BACK - SHE CHANGED HER CLOTHER (2). JOYBOY STRODE FORWARD, TRIPPED OVER A TWIG, STAGGERED PAST A VICIOUS HERMIT CRAB, AND AWARDED DOWN - DOWNS TO LIZ THE WHIZZ, FOR WHIZZING (SHE LATER WHIZZED INTO THE ARMS OF JOYBOY'S BROTHER - SOME CONSPIRACY HERE-SURELY) TO SHERPA ALLEN FOR CLAIMING THAT HE LEFT HIS TENT TA' PIECE OF EVEREST (VOMIT), TO JERRY DAWSON FOR GOING PONY TREKKING AND, NOT FINDING ANY PONIES, SPENDING THE DAY IN THE PUB, TO FRANCES FOR CONQUERING AS MANY FIRSTS ON THE HILLS AS A REFORMED ALCOHOLIC, TO THERESA ROPER FOR SOMETHING, AND, OH DEAR! TO KAREN POULSON WHO SPILT MOST OF IT AND CHANGED HER CLOTHES (3), AND TO ME, THE BASTARD, FOR EXCESSIVE CHARISMA AND A BIG GUT.

I'M FAIRLY CONFIDENT THAT OTHER FOLKS GOT DOWN-DOWNED BUT I WAS TOO PISSED TO REMEMBER. MAD MIKE ONLY WENT IN THE LOCH ONCE SO IT WAS A VERY SOBER OCCASION. THERE WAS ONLY 5 OF US IN DAVE ARMES 'GROWN MEN" TENT, LEAVING PLENTY OF ROOM TO STORE A CUBE OF SUGAR OR A BAG OF GOLF TEES!!

SUNDAY WAS GLORIOUS. RONNIE HAD THAT HAGGARED LOOK IN THE MORNING. YOU REMEMBER THE DALI PICTURE OF THE FACE ON CRUTCHES - 'SLEEP' - WELL, RONNIE SPENT 6 HOURS READY TO HONK WITH HIS HEAD POISED OUTSIDE THE TENT. A SQUADRON OF HORSE FLIES SAT AROUND PATIENTLY WAITING FOR THE FEAST. MOST OF US PACKED UP EARLY AND SCUTTLED TO GLENCOE VILLAGE IN THE SUN. SINCE IT WAS BASTILLE DAY WHEN THE FRENCH RUBBER INDUSTRY GOT GOING, POODLE WAS DOWN-DOWNED. 'BRAIN' SIMPSON WAS ALSO DONE FOR USING AN ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH ON A CAMPSITE (BLASPHEMY). OFF UP THE ROAD TO A COUPLE OF DECENT CHECKS BY THE RIVER. FALSE THREATS TO ASCEND A MAJOR MOUNTAIN CAUGHT OUT YOURS TRULY. THE LADIES CHECK GAVE US PLENTY OF TIME TO ADMIRE THE VIEW. SEVERAL LADIES FOUND THE CORRECT WAY ALONG THE BEACH AND DECLINED TO SHOUT (SHOCK, HORROR, PROBE).

NOT SUPPRISINGLY WE THEN CLIMBED UP TO THE EDGE OF THE CORDILLERA TO SEE IF THESE AMERICAN SATELLITES HAD FAILED DURING LUNCH (OR LAUNCH). AN ABSOLUTELY GINORMOUS BEER CHECK AT THE VIEW POINT HAD WIMP NICOL ONLY MILE BEHIND AND LIZ THE WHIZZ, AT LEAST A MILE FROM THE BOOZE. AFTER A RESTFUL 15 MINS TONTO, SHERPA AND JOYBOY LED OFF WITH EVERYONE REMARKING HOW CLEAN THEY WERE?? FOR SOME STRANGE REASON, I WAS JUST BEHIND THE AFOREMENTIONED THREE (!) AND SUFFERED GREATLY IN THE FINEST SHIGGY AREA NOTED FOR SOME TIME. AFTER LOSING MY SHOE IN THE MUCH, A VAST BATTLE SPORADICALLY FLARED WITH MUCH FILTH FLINGING, AND TO THE RIVER. OUT OF 53 SOULS, A BARE 5 DIDN'T JUMP 10ft INTO THE RIVER. RONA HAD HER 'EYES' IN AND OTHER FOLKS WERE A TOUCH OF CHICKEN. THE WET T-SHIRT COMPE-TIT-ION WAS A DRAW BETWEEN ALL THE GIRLS HOWS THAT FOR MASS GROVELLING - SEE ME AT MY PLACE GIRLS.

THE HOTEL LAID ON SOME FOOD WHICH WAS PRETTY GOOD. HASH JUNKIE WAS DOWN-DOWNED FOR NOT SUPPLYING NEARLY ENOUGH ILLICIT SUBSTANCES, GOLD TOPS WAS PRESENTED AS THE NECK-BITER OF POOR MONTY. RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL HIS SUFFERING AND DEPLETED SPERM BANKS, AN I WAS DONE AGAIN FOR EARLY MORNING METEOROLOGICAL APPRECIATION THIS IS GETTING TOO MUCH! BUT HASHIT OF THE WEEKEND WAS GIVEN TO KAREN THE EMPEROR' POULSON FOR TAKING SO MAY CHANGES OF CLOTHES TO A CAMPSITE. IT MADE SURE SHE DIDN'T SPILL ANY OF IT. AROUND 4 O'CLOCK, THE CONVOY LEFT FOR ABERDEEN, STOPPING ONLY TO FLATULATE AROUND THE WATERSKI POSEURS AT LOCHEARNHEAD.

JOYBOY DID AN EXCELLENT ORGANISING JOB, EVEN IF SOMEONE DID BREAK HIS WINDSURFER. THANKS FOR THE WEATHER TOO. TO ALL YOU, WALLIES WHO CAME, YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES FOR NOT GETTING THROWN OFF THE CAMPSITE.

CHEERS,

STOMPER

Those who ran:

Rick ALLAN Sherper

Dave BRINDLE

Bev BROWN Brown Owl

John CARTER JC

Alison CHERMATZ TWIX

Jim CRIPPS

Jerry DAWSON

Wycke DAWSON

Liz DUNCAN

Catherine DUVIAU

Ross HALL Running Sore

Donny HAY

Theresa HOBBS

Dale HUXTABLE

Robbie JOHANNESSEN

Sonja JOHANNESSEN

Ian JOY Joy Boy

Michael MacKAY Mad Mike

John McINNES Michelin Man

Ian MONTEITH Monty

Diane SMITH Gold Top

Graham MOWATT

Alan NICOLL

Carol NICOLL

Karen POLSON KP

Ronnie ROBB Wild Local

Howard ROPER Hippo

Theresa ROPER Mrs T

Brian SIMPSON

Rona SIMPSON

Richard THOMPSON Stomper

Phil TOWNSEND Tonto

Chris WESTON Mega

Anne WILLIAMS Hash Junky?

Ian WILLIAMSON

Dave WOOD Splinter